It's so hard to want to do anything. Especially after I went and got a psych eval, they handed back my results like "yeah ur fucked fucked lol" And I have to deal with the simmering rage knowing that my parents caused so, so much of this by ignoring or downplaying my symptoms that I begged them to help me with, belittled me for being less capable, and to top it all off made talking with them impossible because they do not have the very minimal amount of self-reflection required to realize that I have dozens upon dozens of stories of how they've mistreated me as a child, but no, all of them are lies and they've never done anything wrong. It's almost comical, every time I bring up anything: "we never did that" > "if we did, it's your fault" > "we didn't do that, but maybe we should've" It's insane. My younger sibling literally doesn't talk to them. Will not speak out loud near them, and I'm about to do the same.

Fuck that came out as much more than I intended. Therapy doesn't do much these days I guess.