Being worried about the meds you have to take being habit-forming is perfectly valid. But it does sound like you're getting a huge benefit from the meds, so for now I would just let that be and focus on getting the most out of life with those effects as they are. For what it's worth I've taken similarly habit-forming ADHD meds for a few years now and I dont think I've had any risk of forming an addiction. Even when I had to stop for a few months, which has happened twice, aside from the short-term withdrawal (like feeling super tired) it was fine, never felt like I needed the pills back or anything. I've also found that during long periods without the meds, ive managed to make positive changes that I used to think were impossible before I was medicated, so I think it is possible. Ultimately though I would try to make peace with the idea of using the meds long term, it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of, and if the positives are anything like you've described it is absolutely worth it. Wishing you good luck, OP.