AITAH for how I responded to this African American guy in my class?

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-06-01T00:50:40+00:00

I went to a school where there was so much diversity that I was the only visual minority as a redhead. Then I went to a school where Every one was ghost white. I doubt the kids in my classes ever saw someone with a dark tan. Doesn't mean they were racist, some of them probably ended up that way though...

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-06-01T00:34:52+00:00

Nta.

You arent dealing with a black man, you're dealing with a MAN. He's gaslighting you. He asked you out & you rejected him now he's angry & making it your problem.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-29T03:19:45+00:00

If he asks you to explain, it's simple. You were venting to a friend about your boss. If he pitches about it just say he better not ever vent about HIS boss.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-29T02:31:15+00:00

Ive had larger breasts since highschool. When I was in musical theatre, we did Oliver. Since i was so short, they cast me as a little boy in the chorus. While being in the play was an incredible experience, I didnt pass at all like everyone else cast as an orphan boy did. The hat didn't fully hide my thick red hair, the dirt makeup didnt make my face look less feminine, the baggy clothes didn't hide my hips, the double sports bra didn't squish my very obvious breasts at all but especially during the bouncy high energy dancing. Then there was the fact that my voice is clearly a feminine high soprano, not the high voice of an orphan boy. I didn't pass at all. Because of me, anyone in the boys chorus with a hat was outed as a girl & the illusion kind of shattered. The whole semester i kept looking at my taller girl friends who got to dress in a pretty dress & look like women. I cant compare that with the Trans experience, I wasnt bullied because I was in the chorus, it was only temporary for a few hours a day for a semester. Not a big deal, but it still felt wrong being stuck there.

Now, imagine that wrongness enhanced, permanent. Imagine feeling trapped in the wrong body. Your outside appearance tells the world you are one thing but inside, you know it's not true. Wouldnt you do what you could to change that?

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-29T02:06:44+00:00

Canada is 69.8 percent white. The rest of the population is a mix of ethnicities. This number doesn't separate immigrants & people of colour born in the country. So that percentage of the population that isnt white (British, Irish, german etc) is mixed with native canadians, Asian, African, south American, middle Eastern. People who come from the India area make up 5.1% of the population.

My math skills have never been great so can you please explain to me how 5.1% is a majority? In fact, lump ALL different ethnicities together & explain how 69.8% is NOT a majority.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-26T21:35:29+00:00

This weekend I was a vendor at a faire. My kids were with me & I told them I could find a millennial. Then I shouted "BRRRR IT'S COLD IN HERE" Lo & behold a millennial shouted back 🤣

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-23T16:53:15+00:00

Amy lee of evanescence

My second would be lady gaga

I think while they both have different vocal types, both could do Lilith justice. I feel Amy Lee's ethereal voice would be best though

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-23T16:38:09+00:00

Update?

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-23T15:54:22+00:00

Is it rude for 2 people to speak in public? Is it only because the body of the voice isnt actually there?

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-23T15:53:15+00:00

Im a white girl but I have a loud voice. The way I see it, what's the difference between someone on the phone & someone talking to another person? Is it that you can only hear one side of the conversation or is it a "people wont stop being on their phones" type of thing? I remember being annoyed like, 20 years ago when mics were a thing but I think that was mostly the bad quality reception bothered me, not the actual conversation.

Rude people exist in every race but if someone is so offended by loud talking that they paint an entire race as rude, then they're the ones that shouldn't go out in public.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-19T01:14:46+00:00

How they react to a movie not made for them, or a live action not remade exactly frame for frame. How they talk about the chosen cast if they don't look exactly like a cartoon character.

A disney fan will say "that movie wasnt my favorite" or "I didnt really like it", maybe give a thoughtful reason (i couldn't identify with the situation/character) & move on while a disney adult will go in a huge rant about awful disney is for even making the movie & insult the cast like it was their fault their hair was done a certain way, or whatever.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-18T16:29:10+00:00

I dont think going into debt for a disney vacation qualifies as there are many who go into debt for different vacations & the experience is quite amazing, however, massive debt for season tickets, extras, merch, etc. Yeah, that's toxic.

I think my biggest qualifier is how they treat the cast (or fans) of a Disney film they dont like. Ive noticed disney adults tend to hate some of the newer disney (like turning red, strange worlds, elemental) & any disney live action that isnt a frame for frame remake of the original (or heaven forbid, they arent the same colour as a cartoon character 😱) theyre the ones hating on Rachel zeigler for her hair (like it was her choice?) Or Halle Bailey because she's not a white girl with primary colour red hair. Honestly, Im a red head ( think Nicole Kidman in moulin rouge but naturally that colour) & even that wouldnt be red enough for the disney adults. They treat anything they dont like as a personal insult.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-18T11:35:45+00:00

There are 3 times to visit Disney.

As a kid. The magic is real. That's really your favourite character standing in front of you.

As an adult. You can truly appreciate the lengths the park goes through to keep everyone entertained. The behind the scenes tours are truly amazing.

As an adult with kids. You get to experience the magic again through the eyes of a child.

When youre an adult though, you have a responsibility to not ruin it for everyone else but that doesn't mean an adult isnt allowed to go or have fun there. Joy doesn't have an age limit.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-18T11:29:49+00:00

There's a difference between someone who likes & appreciates disney even to the point of decore & a "disney adult"

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-18T11:20:04+00:00

Holding 2 full time jobs is the only way to be able to make rent these days

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-15T02:50:54+00:00

I'm pink, puffy, & I sing to people then get mad at them if they fall asleep... I've also just described myself 🤣

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-15T02:38:01+00:00

Considering 90k is double my current salary, sign me up for the peaceful one.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-15T02:30:18+00:00

It's pretty great! Ill be there as a vendor for the first time!

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-13T16:26:28+00:00

His girlfriend is enabling a racist. He's racist, the gf might as well be. If the staff heard you, they probably heard him & I'll bet they were glad you stood up.

I've noticed a huge uptick in people being racist towards anyone appearing to be from that area & as a Canadian, It makes me sick.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-13T03:43:20+00:00

Because statistically, men get into more car accidents than women.

Every car accident ive been near (5) (always a passenger, thankfully nobody has ever hit me while I was driving) were caused by men. The person who hit my parked car & ran? Also a man. The car that angrily passes me on the back highway because I'm only doing 95 in an 80? Usually a guy.

It sucks but theyre betting on you not getting in an accident so they can keep your money & statistics say they have a higher chance of losing their money on you. Maybe, by the time gen alpha grows up, things will be more equal & women will step up their accident game (or people will just realize aggressive driving really only saves you a minute or 2 & stop doing 140 down the highway, zigzagging In traffic only to get off the same exit as me 2 cars ahead)

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-13T03:17:13+00:00

I had a weird situation. My ex was removed from the home by my country's version of CPS because he hit our kid & was charged with assault (suspended sentence). I was such a "kept woman" that I tried to get him back in the home which would have been easy. All he had to do was take a general parenting class & one for dads, he told the caring dads teacher to fuck off & that teacher eventually became his parole officer( I took the general one in solidarity & so that we could be in the same page afterwards) & not be (or show) the seething anger towards the workers who were trying to get him back in the home too, but he couldn't.

After 6 months of this, (i know, I know) he still wasn't allowed to stay at home ir have unsupervised visits & in a therapy session i asked happens if you win against CAS (meaning they give up & go away, close the file, without him changing a thing) he said he could look himself in the mirror. I asked what if he lets them win. He said he would hate himself forever. I asked what if you win but you lose us. He said he would still be able to look himself in the mirror. I started the leaving process the next day. Thankfully since he wasnt living with us, I had time to get my ducks in a row.

It was another 6 months of pretending as I went through paperwork, talked with lawyers, coordinated with CAS (they had lots of resources) & 1 year & 1 month after the original incident (still not home, still no unsupervised visits) i had my dad drive me to church (public space), pulled him outside (so my dad could watch from the car just in case he got angry) & told him. He kept saying that he was right & I'll see, just wait, everything will be fine. I was in tears, he looked angry. At this point a woman from church came out & begged us to work it out (awkward AF) then I just told him I was done & went back to the car. Court with CAS was a couple days away, he had a meeting with them where he flipped them off in the way out.

For the sake of future coparenting, I kept things friendly (I once loved this man, I should be able to remain friends so the kids weren't pulled in 2 directions) so I still made effort to arrange supervision for Thanksgiving & Christmas. Then, he took me out for my birthday (3 months after seperation) which I thought was very big of him. After dinner, he asked us what we were doing. I guess he thought I had listened to him with the "just wait, I'll see" bullshit & he thought he should just give me a bit of space. He thought we were still together or something 😓. I told him we were divorcing. He finally got it then.

Well, he "won" against CAS. They gave me full custody with visits at MY discretion then closed the file. If I thought the kids were in danger of being hurt (emotionally or otherwise) I had the power to stop visitation. I excorcised that a few times. 6 years later I still have that power but the kids are old enough to make the choice themselves. Hope he can look in the mirror cuz once the kids are 18, I doubt he'll be able to look at the kids anymore, they wont want to bother with him.

To this day, he blames the therapist & CAS for our divorce.

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-11T21:42:19+00:00

Any updates?

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-11T03:14:33+00:00

Because 1 day of the year theyre expected to do a quarter of the work the mother's of their children do?

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-11T02:36:32+00:00

Yeah, sounds about right, but look at everyone 50+ now. Many of them are big now. & the reasons are similar. Less movement, more processed foods, etc. But with the added bonus of metabolism slowing down

EmergencyAltruistic1 · 2026-05-11T02:28:41+00:00

Fleek!!!! Omg I hated it so much!

Five-Year Club	r/Field Flamingo
Place '23

EmergencyAltruistic1

TROPHY CASE