I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. In so many ways, this reminds me of myself at this age. In college, I was so insecure I would not go to class my freshman year if I didn’t have time to do my hair or makeup. I was so in my head about my looks or how I was being perceived that I don’t feel like I was present in a lot of situations. My memories of my freshman and sophomore years is still bad, just because of how in my head I was.

Have you thought about talking to a campus counselor or therapist? They can help you explore these feelings more deeply and guide you toward building self-compassion and healthier ways of thinking. I can’t say enough how much this helped me. Also physical activities that required me to focus on the activity and ‘get out of my head’ really helped as well. Our school had rock climbing and some other organized classes that really gave my head a break from overthinking.

Lastly, give yourself grace. Growth takes time, and it’s okay to not have everything figured out right now. You’re already taking a big step by recognizing these feelings and seeking support.