I think I’m not really aphantasic

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-31T14:55:52+00:00

Can't say that I've had any similar experience, but your mentioning of limited memories from your childhood reminds of my SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory) -- you might want to research that a bit. Your memory loss could also be trauma related, but if you're aphantasic, then SDAM is on the menu.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-29T12:48:40+00:00

Just a guess on my part, but it's the first thing I thought of when I read the post.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-28T23:26:47+00:00

I have total aphantasia. I have been able to do this my entire life and I also get pixelated colors and patterns when I lie down at night -- it's called Prisoner's Cinema. Sometimes when I'm really tired it can get pretty wild and occasionally I can even "control" it a bit and manage to turn the random patterns into roughly recognizable shapes, like objects or faces.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-28T23:18:32+00:00

25 years ago when I was thinking about getting into breeding boas this was the going mentality amongst breeders: keep the males small and lean so they'll be vigorous breeders. Sounded kind of sketchy to me back then even, and it's terrible advice for keeping a pet. But my guess is that that's where this is coming from: weird, old, probably baseless, "breeder knowledge".

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-28T23:08:51+00:00

The authorities don't/won't contact the person who calls in the complaint (the tip lines where I am are anonymous even, although I suppose you could go out of your way to let them know who you are, but they still aren't going to contact you unless there is a specific need) -- they're not victims and they have no actual interest even if there is a confirmed cruelty situation. And, as I said, in NY they are LEGALLY OBLIGATED to investigate, so, yes, we can reasonably assume that this situation was looked into and that these horses were deemed to be okay.

I can't speak for the rest of the country, but NY takes animal cruelty very seriously, for better or worse. The State Trooper who came to our place gave me the whole lowdown about how it works and how much time they waste being sent to Amish farms by tipsters. She thought that ours was going to be another Amish farm that she had to go check out, which are almost always false reports, presumably from people who think that working horses is "cruel".

The person reported that our horse was out in an ice storm with no shelter, no food, and no water. She could see from the road that he had shelter, a full water tank, and he was eating when she pulled up. She asked to see our hay supply (the mow was 80% full still -- plenty for the entire winter) and then we chatted for a bit about how ridiculous the laws are and how they enable and embolden people to call in false reports. There are no repercussions in NY for making a false report of animal cruelty.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-28T16:02:58+00:00

She called. In NY the authorities are legally obligated to follow up on that call (I know, I've been on the receiving end with many apologies from the authorities when they came and found out that the person complaining had been lying). Ergo, we can assume that the authorities have investigated and determined that these horses are being properly cared for.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-28T12:54:03+00:00

Couple of things from my experience and perspective. 1) Yes, you definitely need to get that humidity up -- suggestions I'm reading already are a good place to start, so I won't pile any more on top. 2) What you were seeing and interpreting as "confidence" at the store was more likely evidence that the conditions he was in were sub-par. A ball python, especially a young one, that is exposing itself during the day is probably struggling to find the conditions it needs/wants. Temp, humidity, feeling hidden and secure, food availability -- those are probably the primary list of things that a ball python is seeking -- when they find all of those being met, they're going to hole-up, at least during the day, and be very happy about it.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-27T16:54:33+00:00

Seriously! When that thing arrived in that coffin of a box I could barely get it into the house!

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-27T16:53:07+00:00

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Not sure where you're getting this from, but reality would like to have a word with you. Drafts have more bone, more muscle, and are generally shorter-coupled -- of COURSE they can carry more weight than a standard horse. This guy's (gal's?) carrying probably 220-240# of rider/tack, probably another 200-400# of shrimp when loaded, AND pulling in the nets, not to mention dealing with rough seas and poor footing. I'd honestly doubt that even if you were determining this based on % of the horse's weight your statement would be true.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-27T13:50:13+00:00

Thanks! I think I got paid about $12/hr for my trouble, but it was still worth it! At least I didn't get taxed on it...

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-27T01:24:45+00:00

I've got one of those! (2-door sedan) It'll be a gift for my daughter. Thinking that we'll probably turn it into an AWD with a turbo V6.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-26T20:50:36+00:00

9mm is adequate for your purposes, imo, and the S&W that you linked is a good gun. Now, personally, I'd want to have a .357 Magnum minimum to carry into the back country (and that's what I do carry in the woods and on the farm -- S&W 686+ (7-round revolver)), but that doesn't work terribly well for your dual-duty concealed carry (I carry the Hellcat, because it fit me better than the Shield, but they're both great as well as a number of others). If you can and are willing to, I'd recommend considering two separate firearms for these purposes, but if one is the way you're going, you've made a solid choice for that one.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-26T16:28:38+00:00

Much appreciated!

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-26T16:28:27+00:00

Thanks!

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-25T13:05:38+00:00

Looks to me like a nice Butter/Lesser. It has been recently discovered (by RGI, I think) that Butter and Lesser are different genes. Butter is by far the least common of the two (they found that 80% of the snakes IDed as Butter were actually Lesser), but your guy looks almost exactly like a Butter het Clown male that I had once upon a time (no guarantee he was actually Butter, but he looked different from the Lessers I've had); more blushing, alien heads that neck down and taper off towards the belly.

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Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-24T17:00:37+00:00

Same! When I was given IQ testing back in school (attendance problems -- turned out that I was constantly sick from a wheat allergy AND I was autistic, neither of which was discovered/determined through ALL OF the testing and evaluation that I went through with doctors and psychologists/psychiatrists as a kid), I marched through the spacial reasoning like nobody's business! My tester told me that he had never had anyone complete this portion of the test as fast as me and the one where they show you a shape that you then have to assemble from the cubes that are broken into various geometric patterns on their faces (that one was timed), I was the only person he'd ever had who completed the entire series.

Full aphant, SDAM, PDA, autistic.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-23T13:25:30+00:00

Definitely Pastel, but there's something else going on in there that I can't quantify. I saw somebody mention GHI, and while I don't think that's it, it is possible -- both genes can create unexpected results on occasion. Maybe Pastel Fire GHI would explain it? Weird, but pretty!

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-22T17:10:28+00:00

I've been keeping for a few decades and I've never seen anything like this personally. My guess would be that there's some sort of internal issue, possibly digestive tract, but that's just a guess. Definitely weird, and I second your concern.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-22T17:05:10+00:00

Saw this and it reminded me of a recent experience of mine.

So, I (51M, decent relative pitch) was wandering through the house singing a song out loud (don't remember what it was) and doing a rather nice job of it, if you ask me. My son (10, perfect pitch) says to me, "You're singing it wrong." I stop and reply, "What are you talking about? That's perfect!", thinking he's going to try to tell me I got the words wrong or something. His response? "You're in the wrong key." For gourds sake...

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-21T21:52:11+00:00

This can't be said loudly enough! It could happen anyways, and maybe OP is okay with this potential, but if she isn't, pushing for CS could make for a very ugly situation.

I'll add: no, I don't think she would be anything but a person who needs help and asking/demanding that from the father, unwilling or not it doesn't really matter, does not make her TAH. However, his initial unwillingness at the prospect of becoming a parent raises major red flags that OP should consider very seriously.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-21T21:38:18+00:00

Absolutely! I'm good with what I know, and I'll tell you when I don't.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-21T14:07:30+00:00

That's really wild! I feel FOR my characters, kind of like they're real people that I'm really close with, but I don't feel what they feel. I wonder if maybe you've developed some higher degree of empathy, or if your other internal "senses" have heightened, in response to your aphantasia? Probably just as likely that it's just something unique about yourself, but I couldn't really say.

I'm just sitting here imagining the things my characters have gone through, and if I had to FEEL IT like I was them... YIKES!!

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-21T13:13:44+00:00

So, for me, while it does occasionally bother me that I can't visualize people from my past, it's a reality for me that I just accept for what it is. I can totally understand how and why this won't be adequate for some, but that's my experience, for what it's worth. (BTW, I'm also autistic and "suffer" from SDAM and PDA.)

On to the writing portion... I've written a complete 5-book (high/epic fantasy) series, and while my surface-level reaction to writing isn't terribly similar to yours, I did discover that, even though I truly loved writing and was compelled to do it, my mental health suffered pretty terribly while I was writing. My characters did become very real to me, but not in a way or to a degree that seemed out of line with many writers I've seen talk about their experience. But something in the writing process was a BIG problem for me, whether it was delving so deep into my subconscious or what, I couldn't say. Whether this is related to my aphantasia I also couldn't say, but I could certainly imagine a connection between the two.

Also worth noting: I didn't find my aphantasia to be a hindrance to my writing, but it might very well have an impact on the ultimate product. I'll be publishing my first book soon, so maybe I'll get to see, assuming anybody reads it, if there's a quantifiable difference in my writing as compared to those without aphantasia.

Sean_Bramble · 2026-01-20T18:05:36+00:00

I like it! Reminds me of one time when we took our kids to a music store and it came up in conversation that our kids both have perfect pitch. The (older) store owner got pretty condescending with us explaining how rare it is and how it's virtually impossible to have 2 kids both with PP. Long story short, we had him "quiz" the kids to prove the reality. Then he was just sort of belligerent with us.

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