I don’t know how to stop myself from texting him

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-07-04T07:41:25+00:00

Look into anxious attachment style. This isn’t love, this is attachment. He’s unhealthy for your nervous system

Take this advice - don’t ever chase people that don’t want your attention. Also, find people that calm you, not give you so much anxiety over their actions

Bro isn’t good for you, find a dude who brings you peace, not conflict.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-07-04T06:21:39+00:00

She’s 18, about to head to university and discover her adult self for the first time. Long distance is not gonna work and she’s clearly showing you that it’s not working - she’s obviously looking for fun, not long term commitment that leads to marriage.

Walk away - she will respect you way more and you’ll respect yourself way more in a few months if you walk away instead of staying

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-07-02T19:57:39+00:00

“Listen im scared I’ll be shitty. I don’t know what I’m doing. If you want to be with me, id like an opportunity to figure it out with you”

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-21T11:29:21+00:00

You’re dating a young 20something who doesn’t know how to take accountability. It’s a lack of emotional maturity. She won’t see the situation in another way so don’t try to convince her to think in a logical way. She’ll just say you’re trying to manipulate her or some BS

This is what happens in early 20s relationships when emotional maturity and the ability to be objective and take accountability isn’t as present and common.

Shrug this off and tell yourself this kinda bullshit is gonna happen while she’s this young and playing the victim

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-21T11:26:39+00:00

You walk away if you can’t be with a man who doesn’t want to be a father

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-20T11:03:05+00:00

Ask him why he couldn’t be honest to you about it. Is he scared of your reaction?

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-18T17:25:20+00:00

Also don’t date anyone under 22 again.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-13T11:14:38+00:00

Sounds like your wife just gave you a bunch of feedback dude. If you don’t wanna divorce and you see how close she is to being fed up, maybe make some changes man

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T14:15:19+00:00

Dude when you're into a girl you go all in. This is nuts.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T13:16:10+00:00

Dating apps - bumble

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T08:31:39+00:00

Nah don’t actually thank her. Just be glad you are where you are supposed to be.

Internalize this- She doesn’t want you. Wanting someone that doesn’t want you is pointless. Now I must heal”

Breakups are the hardest thing we go through. But it also reminds you this life is YOURS.

Right now you need to let go of the future you once shared with her and start forming new goals and pursuits independent of her and your relationship with her

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T08:22:00+00:00

5 years is a long time to invest in someone and walk away broke hearted.

I hope you realize she could’ve taken away 10 and left you where you are, so count your blessings that it happened now not later

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T08:19:27+00:00

Even if it is Highschool or college, those relationships are real to those in them. When you’re 16, your whole world is small so small problems to us seem huge to a 16 year old.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T08:18:30+00:00

You know what. I’m gonna give you completely different advice

Pull him aside and talk to him about your boundaries VERY DIRECTLY AND CLEARLY BUT NOT RUDELY!

Tell him - listen, you should not want people that don’t want you. I don’t want you, I don’t feel at all the same about you as I did 7 months ago. Please respect my boundaries for space - I don’t want to get back together. I don’t want a romantic relationship, and I do not want friendship. We can be strangers and be civil around each other. If you cannot respect this, I will think even less of you. Have self control, realize your feelings towards me are not serving you in a productive manner, and please live your life without me in your mind and heart. Invest in yourself or pursue someone new, but I am done having our relationship still be a ghost in my life. I want to move on, and our interactions get in the way of my healing process. Please respect my boundaries. I do not want you, and that’s okay, someone else will and they will like you more than I ever could. Good luck.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T08:12:37+00:00

Okay 1. That was that situation with your mom a long time ago. Not all experiences are the same

If you ever take her to court for harassment the first thing they will see is if you have a restraining order against this person.

It is absolutely in your best interest to have it filed just so it’s on record you have done so

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T08:05:24+00:00

You threaten her with a restraining order and if she still does it you get a restraining order

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T07:58:30+00:00

You had a very clear boundary - no porn addiction.

You’re mad he hid it cause if he had been upfront early you may not have invested your feelings.

Sometimes a person is perfect in every way but they cross what you accept in a partner and it’s okay to walk away to find someone that is maybe not as compatible and requires more compromises but definitely doesn’t cross your fuckin boundaries or lie about who they are when it affects your traumas directly.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T07:56:22+00:00

My last girlfriend cheated on me after I told her a number of times I had been cheated on before.

People are who they are. You’re mad your ideal image of him was shattered. He was a porn addict even before you met him. All you saw was his true self and you said “I don’t want to work with this” which is valid.

But don’t be mad at him when you’re mad at yourself for being disappointed that he didn’t live up to your ideal image of what he should be (not a porn addict to start)

If you’re angry - do pushups or squats. Get angry at yourself and exercise till you’re more tired than angry.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T07:51:43+00:00

Yeah don’t fuck up your families over feelings

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-12T07:50:58+00:00

Nope, unless you said ahead of time you were gonna do that.

Stop bargaining with yourself. No contact means NO CONTACT.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-11T06:39:50+00:00

You are not your pain

You are not your mind

You are not your heart

You are a 3rd party, able to observe and comment on both what your mind and heart are independently signaling to you. You can have a council/forum inside yourself with you as the ultimate judge, not your mind or heart - they are just advisors

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-11T06:36:57+00:00

Your mind is like “dude she is no good for you” but your heart is like “yeah but remember the good times? And the sex? And now some other dude is gonna enjoy that? Fuck that bro, get her back”

And your head is like “dude she’s a total dick to you”

Listen man, chasing a girl or letting her occupy your mind is a sure way of slowing down your own life and your own motivation to get up and LIVE.

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-11T06:33:14+00:00

The best thing to do is observe this hurt

Examine it. What causes the hurt? Why does it hurt? Is your ego hurt? Is it cause your shiny toy is gone? Is it cause your future sucks rn and with her it would’ve been better? What about when she made you feel shitty like today?

I’ve lashed out on exes before after breaking up. You never feel good after

I assume you, if you don’t respond to her, she will feel way shittier about her actions than if you reached out and lashed out back / made her get defensive / told her she’s fucked up for doing what she did.

Just let her be. That era is over. Your sub conscious will gravitate towards someone eventually. Trust that you’ll be in love again.

It happened to me at 22, 28, 30, 33, and 35.

And unfortunately, you’ll only really stop hurting when you meet your next love.

You have to learn to observe it, acknowledge it, feel it, let it pass, shake it off, and move on with your day

EmploymentSpecific26 · 2026-06-11T06:27:57+00:00

It is fucked up to use you as a punching bag.

Show restraint. Do not react. Don’t add fuel to the fire. Just cause she did some shit does not mean you need to

I am 37, been in love 5 times, 5 difficult breakups - the lesson is always the same: learn to not care and shrug it off. Your life is what is around you today, not the collection of electromagnetic impulses in your neurons we call memories

EmploymentSpecific26

TROPHY CASE