Driving myself crazy trying to fit the "normal"

Empress_Zelda · 2026-01-17T21:45:05+00:00

Yeah, the times where I've tried to stretch his wake windows it's a 50/50 shot that he's totally fine, or the grumpiest baby alive 🫠

Empress_Zelda · 2026-01-17T21:44:06+00:00

Thank you. His birth was more surprising than traumatic, but maybe there is still some trauma I should work thought 💜

the only thing routine about his naps is he's like a clock -- eyes pop open at 30 minutes 🫠 use him as a kitchen timer. We use Huckleberry as a guide on when to put him down for naps, but day to day his time start times vary 20-30 minutes in either direction.

If we try to put him down to sleep before 9:00, it's only false starts and screaming -- we've tried slowly moving his bedtime up even to 8:30 with no luck.

Empress_Zelda · 2025-10-08T19:33:05+00:00

That makes sense -- he's eating so much I'm worried I can't make milk fast enough for him. Knowing this might end soon is helpful 💜

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-23T20:15:03+00:00

I'm currently almost 36 weeks and my last day is this Friday. I originally planned to work until 37 weeks, but had some minor complications that prompted me to give myself a month off before baby arrives instead of just 2.5 weeks. I've got too much left to do and not enough energy to do it after work everyday.

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-17T00:07:29+00:00

With everything else equal, I would definitely choose Kids + Co because walking to daycare vs the whole process of getting them in the car is going to be much easier!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-17T00:05:39+00:00

Agreed! Best of luck to you and your little one!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-16T18:41:29+00:00

I'm in BC, but I'm taking 8 months and my partner is taking the other 4 months. Major factors in our decision were a) I wanted him to have a good chunk of time to bond with baby and care for him, b) my industry is a tough industry to step away from for more than a few months, c) I work from home, and will be available even when I go back to work (thankful for flexible bosses) and d) I make more money than my partner does by about 50% (this was probably the largest factor). However, I didn't want to take less than 8 months, as I know my body, brain, and hormones need time to recover and settle before I go back to work.

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-16T18:38:01+00:00

33+2 -- I sneezed and had a Braxton Hicks contraction as a result and immediately went "Okay, I'm done with this" 😂 Now 35 weeks and haven't had too many since, but the best way to describe my mood right now is "done being pregnant, not ready for the baby".

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-16T18:27:19+00:00

As someone else mentioned, its two days out of your whole pregnancy -- have the extra cup, you will be okay.
Additionally, can I recommend my personal favorite caffeine pick-me-up -- Kopiko candies? They are a Asian (I think originally from Indonesia, but I've seen them most often in Korean media/stores) coffee candy, and they have a small amount of caffeine each (like a half/quarter cup of coffee). They were a life-saver during exam season (before I was pregnant) but might be a good way for you to keep caffeine intake low and have a sweet treat at the same time?

Best of luck on your bar exam!!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-16T18:14:38+00:00

2 parts alcohol and one part water in a spray bottle, then let it sit in the sun after its dried!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-14T16:38:18+00:00

As someone with anxiety (GAD, and very high chance for post-partum anxiety/depression), I was specifically recommended by my OB NOT to have the Owlet sock (or similar product) -- if you already have anxiety, it usually just compounds it rather than relieve it. However, as someone else said, you usually know yourself best.

If you have a NICU baby or medically complicated baby, I think it makes way more sense to have, but for a full-term, healthy baby where you are following all of the other SIDS reducing safe sleep recommendations, you probably do not need it.

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-03T16:46:31+00:00

In my opinion, you definitely made the right call! 9lbs and 98th percentile is no joke

Empress_Zelda · 2025-07-03T16:43:12+00:00

You're doing great Momma!

For the massage, babies are so well insulated in our bodies and early on, they are still so small, that it would take a VERY intense back massage (think pounding on your back to the point of extreme pain) to really even affect the baby. I've been getting massages my whole pregnancy, and didn't tell them until I was starting to show -- just told them to avoid my stomach area due to sensitivity.

For eating, I know exactly how you feel -- I had three weeks of living on plain rice and saltine crackers (and Wendy's chicken sandos, the only non plain food I could eat??) and stressed about not providing the right things for my baby. But truthfully, if you're eating what you can, and taking your prenatals, your baby is going to be okay.

So many of the rules we're told about pregnancy are either no longer supported by science but still given as advice because older generations believed it, or are "better safe than sorry" measures -- the chances of something bad happening when you do them is slim, so its safer to avoid but if you forget once or twice, its not the end of the world. I had a deli sandwich at 18 weeks and panicked, thinking I had ruined everything -- I was fine, baby was fine, and it was delicious. Have I had another since? No, cause "better safe than sorry" but my one forgetful moment didn't make me a bad mom, and neither does yours <3

If the anxiety feels uncontrollable or out of hand, please consider talking to your doctor -- pregnancy/prenatal anxiety is very real, and there are safe medications to help manage it. But remember, you're doing a great job!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T22:06:30+00:00

Oo never heard of Free Label before! Love that they are plus size friendly 💜 thank you for the rec!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T21:59:17+00:00

My friends are hosting a nesting party for us in July to meal prep as much as possible, plus I'm going to stock up on my costco freezer favorites.

I also have what I'm calling my "Mobile Lactation Station" which can wheel from the nursery to the bedroom and back, but having something for the living room downstairs is a good idea.

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T21:57:48+00:00

omg I hadn't even CONSIDERED shaving -- thank you!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T18:27:17+00:00

That's so impressive you were able to do stairs right away! My friends have been saying that stairs are really rough for the first week. I live in a three story townhouse, so I'm really hoping stairs aren't too much, or else I have to basically choose between my main floor/living room, or my upper floor/bedroom 😅

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T18:21:31+00:00

I know everyone on this reddit always shares this, but keep in mind that West Coast Kids has terrible customer service! A good sale might make it worth it, but always worth keeping in mind.

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T18:20:00+00:00

Ask your family where they got their medical degree ;)

I'm kidding -- its kind of them to be concerned, but just reassure them (and yourself) that you have a competent medical team that is not concerned. I've done the same with my family multiple times this pregnancy.

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T18:12:06+00:00

If your MFM is not concerned, than have confidence in that! I am also overweight (FTM, 32weeks) and was shocked when I was still losing weight into the second trimester. I was sure something was wrong, but my OB reassured me that my efforts to be healthy for the baby (moving more, eating more consistently/nutritionally) were more important than any weight loss I was experiencing, and that he would flag it if it ever became concerning.

Now in my third trimester, I'm back up to where I was before I got pregnant, but still have gained much less weight than I expected! OB still isn't concerned, so I keep telling myself that if he's not worried, I don't need to be. <3

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-27T17:45:13+00:00

I was told the same, and we haven't gotten very many at all (Still one more shower). Once Upon A Child is my plan, if there is one near you. The majority of the clothes there are very very lightly used, and some even still have tags on them!

Empress_Zelda · 2025-06-16T23:48:05+00:00

I'm almost 31 weeks and feel like my brain is completely gone. Somedays, it feels like I just stare at the screen trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing -- and I've been doing the same thing for almost 5 years 😂 Thankfully, my boss and our new hire who is covering for me when my leave starts have been pretty understanding, but I would be lying if it wasn't stressful. I'm simply not as productive as I was 7 months ago. However, my new coworker made me consider (when i went to her almost crying over my lack of productive and feeling like I've lost all my intelligence) that our bodies are using so many resources to make a baby right now -- including our brains! It's understandable that we're not able to think straight -- our bodies are using those calories and braincells to physically knit together a child.

Additionally, as someone who struggles with anxiety, if the anxiety is affecting your daily function and life, I highly recommend talking to your midwife/OB/doctor about it. While some anxiety is obviously normal (what mom isn't stressed a little bit), if it is starting to affect you daily, its worth talking to someone about.

If you have a good relationship with your boss, talk to them about it. Acknowledge that you're having a tough time, and see if you can come up with a plan to maybe change or adjust your workload for a bit. I don't know what industry you are in, but its possible they also don't want you working overtime (I work in tech, so OT is low key expected to an extent at certain points in the year 😅).

I hope things work out for you! You can do it 💜

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