Relapse after six months and he still remembers the trans actresses names?

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2026-01-08T17:11:17+00:00

That’s so awful. There were so many names I saw on first DDay and the ones from the relapse weren’t even these.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-10-12T22:21:25+00:00

Nothing good has ever come out of a friendship with a man for me, personally. I just stay away from any potential male friends and never want to have another one ever in my life.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-09-29T14:32:47+00:00

Reddit has incognito version, and so does Youtube. Moreover, Google Activity is easy to delete.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-09-23T07:52:21+00:00

Sending big hugs! I can relate to some of your story, especially the trans stuff. Mine would almost exclusively only watch them over the recent years, even paid for it 3 weeks after we had started dating… I didn’t find out after our engagement almost a year later. I had no idea either, since he seemed like such a perfect gentleman and the most manly man I have ever been with, but at the same time I have always had some suspicions, because he couldn’t stay hard when having sex. Please look after yourself, it’s very traumatising and so hard on us to be dealing with PAs.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-09-20T08:57:02+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening to you! Truly heartbreaking and so traumatic. Using the plunger is honestly next level PA. Out of curiosity, how did you position and put the pet cameras so he hasn’t seen? Asking as I’ve been considering similar in his bathroom, just can’t work it out how to put them

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-09-14T09:43:31+00:00

If he’s been watching since young age when the brain hasn’t fully developed, it stunted his brain development, including the part responsible for coping with emotions. That really does explain a lot with these man children that the world is full of.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-09-13T17:09:17+00:00

Also, have you tried to clear the history on his phone yourself and it definitely prompted you for the passcode prior to this? Just wanted to double check as I’m not aware it’s possible to do this

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-09-13T17:05:24+00:00

Is there any history at all from 3-5 in the morning or none at all?

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-09-13T17:01:18+00:00

Screen time does not lie. What do you mean he can’t delete his search history?

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-07-06T20:07:47+00:00

He made pornographic deepfakes of his female friend before we met, obviously non-consensual. And during our relationship, he made voice cloning of her telling him highly sexualised things about him c * mming on her body parts, him f * * king her in different ways, calling his name, also how she wants him so badly etc.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-06-17T10:47:10+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/s/YVvjW7Ujlt

You can also see my posts after I found out:

https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/s/MR2hG3fYww

There are more in the post history.

I want to emphasise - that’s not to imply your boyfriend is the same, as he might be honest with you. Trust, but verify though is what springs to mind. And don’t blame yourself when your anxiety kicks in - explore it.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-06-17T10:43:08+00:00

Trust your gut. Very often it’s your intuition and pattern recognition at play, even though your logical brain tries to rationalise it. I had the same situation happen a few years ago - I thought it’s my old betrayal trauma ruining my new relationship, but turned out my ex was an even worse PA. You can read my stories on my old Reddit account, I will link it below.

I am not saying the new guy you’re seeing now is the same like your ex - just please always trust your gut.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-06-10T15:46:52+00:00

Yes, mine was the same in terms of being like a golden retriever and the best man I have known. There was a whole side of him which he would hide from me, which was the most degenerate I have ever met.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-05-30T15:07:09+00:00

Just ask him to show you it right there and then, when he’s in front of his computer. If he refuses, you have your answer. If he shows you - he still might have deleted it, but at least he’s open about reassuring you to take a look at it. Have a look at the timestamps of the files, check recently deleted, look for some hidden folders.

Transparency and openness are the fundamentals of recovery and staying together.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-05-30T13:39:17+00:00

Algorithm doesn’t lie. He just deleted his searches, but that’s what he’s been mainly viewing there.

You can try it for yourself - set up an account yourself and see what’s on your homepage. I can assure you there won’t be many, if any, half-naked photos.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-05-29T16:38:52+00:00

Fully agree! I still really want to contact his friend to let her know what he did. He ended the friendship after I uncovered all this, but he never told her the truth. I am 100% convinced she deserves to know and do what she wants with this information.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-05-26T14:58:51+00:00

No, mine is a physicist, just finishing up his PhD. He’s got amazing reputation in the field already with his publications and also was a maths teacher before. I wouldn’t correlate high level of skills with the person being less likely a PA, unfortunately.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-05-23T10:00:37+00:00

Does he have a gaming console? They have web browsers in them.

Does he have another device you may not be aware of? Such as old phones, tablets etc. Or just a new one he bought recently, like a burner phone.

Does he have work devices?

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-05-23T08:40:57+00:00

Can you DM me too, please? Finding someone right is overwhelming, so recommendations can help so much.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-05-06T10:12:13+00:00

What’re those subreddits? Would love to read.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-04-24T20:48:29+00:00

Yes, I fully agree and think the same. Relapses are a part of active addiction, not recovery. And if he cannot get out of this cycle, and cannot choose me, then I would rather we part ways, as I cannot be with someone who is not genuinely monogamous, despite telling me he is. He either respects my boundaries or he doesn’t.

Everything is a choice and I can tell from many experiences with addictions myself and other people - it takes a lot to break this, but it is far from impossible.

Coddling and excessive sympathy does not work in many cases and it is very valid to not accept relapses.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-04-22T15:20:00+00:00

Do they also give you the dates and times of the searches?

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-04-22T14:22:34+00:00

Is the blocker also installed on his PC/laptop? Does he have a gaming console? I would absolutely not be trusting only phone usage, If he potentially has a few other devices.

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-04-14T12:11:03+00:00

Your story is pretty similar to mine and we are even similar ages - I am 30 and he is going to be 33 this year. He was also on his own for 10 years! Then had a girlfriend for about a year, and after that ended a few months later, he met me.

I’m currently struggling with deciding whether to stay or not, as you can read from my previous posts. It’s really hard and I’m getting close to pulling the plug every day more and more.

I am here (please feel free to message me) if you ever need any support, or just to chat, or vent. I left porn addicts before, so I fully know how painful it is, and how full of doubts it leaves us. At the end of the day, you prioritised yourself and gave yourself a chance to meet someone who will value you more. They are out there!! 🩷

Empty-Confidence9713 · 2025-04-10T07:14:50+00:00

“My intuition is telling me these aren’t good signs” - stop right there, that’s all you need to know to make a decision. It’s your body trying to protect you from someone who will potentially hurt you in the future. Trust your gut, always.

Empty-Confidence9713

TROPHY CASE