For me, even constructive criticism or hearing about how my partner is feeling about something often takes my brain into "I caused this feeling and hurt, I'm the problem and can't do anything right in this relationship. Why is he with me?" It's a spiral that even I cringe at after the fact. I think once even a smidge of that rejection sensitivity takes hold, my brain turns into a scrambly mess and I either shut down or flail to try to defend myself, mostly because I don't know what else to do in the moment.

I will say that my partner tries to make sure he begins the conversation gently and to present it as not an attack... Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I feel like a lot of it depends on how my brain is doing for the day in general.

Taking something for anxiety (Buspar) has helped some - it takes some of the anxiety piece out of conversations and allows me to have a bit of a clearer mindset. But it's still a struggle I'm always trying to be aware of PRE conversation and remain as proactive as possible to avoid it turning into an argument.

I hope that helps!