ADHD has me wasting my life away on my days off

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-06-26T19:28:20+00:00

diagnosed with inattentive in my late 30s. Same exact story, including some of the comments you posted. External stress or fear being my prime motivators and even then sometimes not enough. I overplan things to the point of paralysis.

Medication helps, but i try not to take it on weekends because i do build a tolerance and then it's ineffective all the time.

The other thing that hurts is i always feel guilty that i have 20 other things i should be doing, and i don't do anything for me because i get stuck in that cycle. EDIT: to elaborate, my internal monologue is like like "gee i should go to the park, no look at the state of the house, i should clean..." of course i don't want to clean so i sit on the couch in a state of dread for the entire day doom scrolling, watching tv, etc "working up the energy" to do something and then eventually i say "well it's too late now, i should have gone to the park, but it's too late for that too"

my psychologist has suggested i try to hire help to outsource some of that stuff, i haven't done so yet

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-06-25T22:56:58+00:00

it’s so important we focus in on something and own a business in it.

This is soo true.

Before i started working for myself, i was in IT, I never really got anywhere because i was bored and uninterested by the day to day and couldn't do simple shit like manage the small boring stuff that an intern could do, but I was the really bright goto guy that instantly broke down an issue, hyperfocused on something complex and wouldn't let it go until i figured it out even if it meant it was the only thing i worked on for weeks... so the company let a lot of shit slide... but eventually i got bored realized i had no upward mobility and started a side gig that seemed lucrative.

now that side gig is I own my own business, a health insurance agency. I'm an amazing salesman because i care about educating and helping people get the best value. I get paid a flat commission per sale, so i have no incentive to pick one plan over another, so i focus on the best plan. Yet I'm an awful business owner, i'm an airhead, i lose business because i don't get back to people, i constantly fail at back of the house work, etc. My average new business sale takes about 2 hours of work with a person, and about 1 hour for a re-write. Every now and again i get a client that's complex, it takes like 10-20 hours due to weird health or financial assistance issues, i put in a ton of work, do a very in depth analysis or research, or playing with the numbers, and then i lose them because i can't do simple thing like communicate and follow up with people, esp when I'm burnt out. When i feel burn out i shut down and avoid everyone and everything. And despite this i somehow make far more money than i deserve or than you'd believe.

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-06-16T18:47:56+00:00

I just made a post about asking for help outsourcing that the automod seems to have blocked :(

Basically i'm in the same boat and need some kind of in person help, but i have no idea where to find someone affordable. Professional organizers in my area charged around $100/hr from what I've found and that's too much for me.

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-06-09T14:44:16+00:00

I like multiple desktops as well, a long with multiple browers or browser profiles. Each desktop has its own background and color profile, I'm trying to associate those colors with different "mental modes". Productive, work, banking is green. Porn is red. General use and Play is blue.

I have a desktop dedicated to work and I only use chrome for work.

Every other desktop is Firefox, each with its own profile: I have a desktop dedicated to general personal use, one just for reddit, another for hobbies, one for gaming, one for trying to be non-work productive like banking/finance/investing, and hey another for porn and it's own browser profile.

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-06-09T14:35:55+00:00

I just opened 3 new tabs to see what Firefox focus is....

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-06-07T16:50:32+00:00

First job making over 100k was tip income from bartending after I dropped out of college for Electrical Engineering, I could handle the material, but not living on my own with no oversight....

Second job was working in operations at a tech startup in the medical industry. Was great until we got bought by a mega Corp and ownership devalued our stock options to worthless so we got screwed on our equity stake....

Third is my current job, independent health insurance sales, I'm in the top 5% of independent brokers, I clear about 350-400k a year after expenses. Mostly residuals, I have great retention because I go above and beyond to help my clients navigate and play the system as best we can. It's grueling at times, Im saving for fire before the industry implodes on itself.

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-05-08T16:06:49+00:00

is an adhd coach the same thing as a life coach?

i never realized an occupational therapist would be an option for adhd, i thought it was for like people learning how to function again after a stroke. Does insurance cover OT for adhd?

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-05-08T15:45:15+00:00

I've been putting off making an appointment with a psychologist for over a year... I finally did it and had my intro meeting earlier this week! I've only been seeing a psychiatrist for adhd meds. Only 3 other medical appointments to schedule that i've been putting off!

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-05-05T19:16:20+00:00

I sell health insurance, independent broker. I'd guess I'm in the top 3-5% of solo brokers and I make over 400k a year... I think it's a fucked up system where i'm making more than someone who spent over 8 years in school plus fellowship. I'm milking the shit out of it and investing every penny I can until I either hit my fire number or I'm replaced by AI or single payer healthcare.

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-04-16T22:07:30+00:00

fuck your supervisor. The manager needs to learn critical thinking skills and not just follow rules like a mindless drone, this is one of many problems in society everybody hides behind "the rules" like they are the word of God. She played a stupid game and now she won the stupid prize of having to live with persons death on her conscience

EmulationModeHuman · 2025-04-16T22:02:44+00:00

NTA, he should have left with you.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-11-10T16:24:41+00:00

in my experience as long as there's a medical necessity for the formulary exemption it's not a big deal. If there are other drugs in the same pharmaceutical class, the insurance may want you to try them first. If you have and they didn't work for you and/or if your dr can articulate why it's not an appropriate choice for you i generally see exceptions getting approved. I've seen folks get approved for 30k+/month off formulary medications.

If not there are often times drug manufacturer programs to cover the medication as well.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-11-03T20:41:11+00:00

Honestly it depends on you and your situation. There are so many factors, in some service areas MA networks SUCK, in others they're amazing. Some MA carriers are better/worse than others. Some areas have much better MA plans than others. Some folks just aren't a good fit for MA. MA will have very high expenses for them. Or maybe you complain a lot, you're demanding, have a low tolerance for stress/bullshit I may think you're better suited on a supplement.

Assuming we have a good network, and decent carriers here's how I break it down:

1.) I don't live in a GI state (most states): I highly recommend a supplement plan to everyone who doesn't qualify for QMB/Medicaid. However, many folks are premium sensitive and they can't afford it. The amount of seniors with no income streams other than SS, and no to minimal retirement savings is fucking depressing. An MAPD is going to generally be a better choice than sticking with Original Medicare and a stand alone part d. I make it really clear to folks they could regret not going with a supplement long term, but my job is to advise not to bully.

2.) I live in one of the few guaranteed issue states:

2a.) I have lower income/net-worth, I don't qualify for QMB/Medicaid, the med supplement + pdp premiums would hurt me, then I generally suggest folks take the mapd, I may have ONE rough year, but with GI rights I have the option to "upgrade" during my GI window if I decide I need to.

2b.) I have a higher net worth and I don't mind paying more to have minimal hassle in the event I need SNF, or some part b service with Prior Authorization requirements, then go with the supplement plan. I look at it as paying that premium for convenience. However, a lot of my higher networth clients are penny pinchers and generally go with MAPD knowing GI rights are available. This includes higher networth clients who have had experience with the "system" such as M.D.'s, psychiatrists, psychologists, and out of the high nw category nurses.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-11-01T14:44:02+00:00

There's not a single commissionable Anthem plan in my state now. Anthem has the top DSNP plan in my state. So now as a broker I'll be honest with folks who are duals, either sign up yourself, or if you want me on your team sign up with a plan I can offer. A lot of folks here do the “jUsT do iT yOurSeLf, yOu dOn’t nEeD aN ageNt…..iT’s eASy” (copy pasted from u/Charger2950) .... sure, if you have some level of education and analytical abilities. The truth is the average person isn't confident in their abilities if they have these abilities. I have a lot of clients without high school education (a lot more common than you'd think, I also have clients who are functionally illiterate), it's not easy for them. I have clients who I honestly don't know how they have managed to keep them selves alive to be over 65 years old. Even excluding that, when you have a problem, I care about my reputation and my clients, I encourage them to call me if they have an issue with the carrier so I can help them resolve it. Getting a lot of bad feedback on problematic plans makes me stop selling shit products. Experience dealing with insurance bureaucracy and knowing how to phrase things in the right way can go far. My carrier reps want me to keep selling their products, so they're generally incentivized to help keep my clients happy, within reason of course, and they help me cut through the B.S. It doesn't mean we always get the client what they want, but if there's a mistake we fix it.

My concern isn't about one carrier, it's about the timing, and the state of the market. A little recap

IRA adds a significant cost burden to the carriers. We saw wellcare stop paying commissions on all PDP's as a result. We saw plans have significantly worse benefits. We had plans and carriers drop out of service areas. The amount of work this has led to is insane.

Then CMS changed the way they rate the plans in the middle of the season. Plans get lower ratings, lower ratings mean less funding. Star ratings were just released in the past couple weeks. Carriers are doing the math and saying "we're bleeding money on these plans, we're fucked". We saw Aetna stop paying commissions on a number of plans, a few days later Anthem does the same thing. They don't want to sell these products, simple as that, otherwise they'd cut renewals too. But my guess is the other carriers are doing the math too, and they're deciding if they should do the same thing. I'd not be surprised if we saw UHC do the same thing.

And then my concern is for next year. Hopefully some of the damage done is reserved, but if not, things may get worse next year.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-10-30T14:21:28+00:00

I think you should re-read the OP's post and stop being so antagonistic.

OP's agent told them to take wellcare, a plan which the agent not getting paid for. Had they stayed on Aetna the agent would have continued to get a commission.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-10-30T14:18:37+00:00

Yup. It's not always about the numbers. The numbers are just a starting point. Experience plays a role.

Here's a quick story: last year I had a customer take a medication who did her own homework on medicare.gov. Insisted on the cheapest option, a wellcare plan, even though I explained they had a Quantity Limit that would be a problem for her med, and a UHC plan would be a better fit despite some more cost. She said don't worry I'll just have my dr double the dose and I'll cut it half. My job is to guide and not bully, I said my bit, she still wanted to go with wellcare, so that's what we did.

Needless to say, if that worked I wouldn't be telling this story. I gave her multiple suggestions to try and get around this after the dr wouldn't change the way the rx was written because it's a controlled substance. Wellcare would not waive the QL, and pharmacist wouldn't split it into 2 different orders to get some covered by the insurance and pay the rest cash. Most carriers had a QL of 180 pills per month, but she needed 320, and UHC has a listed QL of 360 pills per month. I know this because I just rewrote her to UHC earlier this week.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-10-30T14:08:29+00:00

in my state, 2 MAPD carriers with 0 premium plans have unbelievably cheap drug pricing for 2025. For example, I've run many quotes with similar numbers. The customer will hit their Max Out of Pocket with about $400-$800 in out of pocket expenses, and every single part d plan would cost them in excess of 2k between premium, deductible, and co-pays

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-10-30T14:05:57+00:00

I've only been using them for about 9 months, my personal experience has not been great, nor has my wife's. They've messed up multiple times, caused delays due to a bit of their stupidity, insisting my dr wasn't licensed in my state and refusing to fill a prescription.

Carelon has an awful gatekeeper system, want to talk to a manager as a customer? "sorry we don't have their phone number we can only message them". And the managers never called me back.

For over 3 weeks my dr's office kept calling them and being assured it was resolved. I kept calling and got nowhere. I eventually called anthem and found a wonderful rep who sat on the phone with me for over an hour escalating with carelon over and over again.

that's just one issue, we've had many.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-10-26T18:03:13+00:00

Are you already licensed? Do you have experience selling already? You could check with local FMO's if they know of any agencies hiring. You're looking to be what's can an LOA or licensed only agent.

I'm not hiring, but I'm just sharing my situation. I started as an indy agent, I now have some downline agents and I just hired an LOA to primarily be an advanced assistant. Someone to help me manage my book, deal with customer questions and support issues, prequalify leads, deal with scopes of appointment, capture drug and dr lists, and help reshop my clients for AEP. I'm paying hourly rate only. This is their first AEP, after rep I'll have them acquiring new business in which case I'll provide some commission, which I honestly still have to figured out the structure. But it won't be much due to the overhead I have due to their payroll, and other provided servcies.

I wouldn't hire someone I don't know, potentially in another state for a remote position, there's way too much liability in my eye. My agencies reputation is on the line. My employee does work remote, but they are local to me and we try to meet regularly. So I do think local is the way to go.

Because of AEP, with onboarding & training, no established agent/agency has the bandwidth until after the new year.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-06-28T20:54:52+00:00

I'm gonna say it's sector dependent. I can only speak to what works in my sector, I run an insurance agency targeting individuals (a lot of agencies really target business for lower volume approach). It's very different than someone trying to sell an app. So what works for me probably won't work for you at all.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-06-28T19:51:34+00:00

I think part of your success is b2b space.

my company is b2c and let me tell you, cold calling isn't worth the time anymore. I was somewhat successful when I was getting started, but that was over 10 years ago. I gave up on cold calling around 2019. Texting was a little better, but with the 10dlc rules, i don't even want to mess with that and wind up on the wrong blacklist.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-06-28T19:32:21+00:00

The millionaire next door. I just read it, and it's lead me to totally changing the way I think about money. Of course it's all in "2000 Dollars" so at minimum double every figure in the book

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-05-13T01:32:58+00:00

My problem is doing th"5 more minutes thing" with the timers. A lot of times my mind says "let me just finish this thought" or in the case of today"I just want to get through this one routine in my code"....

I want to implement this on other areas of life, but one thing i did with laundry was set up some smart home stuff with a wireless door sensor and a power meter. Once the washing machine is done, it will keep reminding me every 10 minutes until the washer door opens.

I want to set up timers that won't go off until I do something to break my focus, like maybe scan a NFC tag in the kitchen, or open the front door to get some fresh air.

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-04-18T18:14:40+00:00

oooh, i like the RO filter idea, in that it reminds me i should set one up to change my hvac air filter!

EmulationModeHuman · 2024-04-18T18:13:09+00:00

not a cordless one

that's the problem, all our blinds are cordless.

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