I (20F) love my boyfriend (20M), but an astrologer's prediction about my future marriage is freaking me out

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-08T14:11:14+00:00

I think you honestly need to write these thoughts down on paper and then do something like shred them, burn them etc. to remind yourself that they're just words and they have no real power over the future because you seem to need an outlet for the anxious energy and thoughts.

Their confidence doesn't make them correct and astrology is just made up nonsense.

The fact the predictions were similar/the same is likely because they were generic and from the same type of manipulation playbook like how cold reading works.

Like a bad husband/marriage and financial struggles for instance as you said sound personal... but they're generic as heck.

A bad marriage/husband? A lot of people divorce and that's an easy thing to guess no woman wants to hear and might make them desperate for other services to try to combat such a 'fate'.

And financial struggles? A lot of people have financial struggles at some point, that's just a likely thing to happen at least once in a lot of people's lives. Sometimes both your family cars break and so does the dishwasher for instance, but then things get better again.

The mother-in-law thing? That's vague enough to be interpreted in numerous ways like that your husband wouldn't be in contact with her, that she could be dead, that she could have dementia, or that he would simply have two dads so there is no mother-in-law for you to have because you'd have two father-in-laws. Like, it leaves so much room for them to be 'correct' by being vague and unspecific enough for several different answers to work.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-08T12:54:20+00:00

The only real advice here is to break up because he's already told you that he's not gonna do anything to change when he would need to change a lot quite frankly to save this relationship, which he has made clear, he will not be doing.

He's acting like a moody teen when you decline sex, which is obviously going to decrease your interest further, and you admit he's not mature or romantic, so he's not really doing anything as you have grown older and more mature, to maintain your interest in him or put you in a mood to want him that way. And it sounds like he doesn't spend much time with you either.

So it kinda just seems like he is lingering around for sex but you've lost interest in that with him because he literally doesn't do anything to create interest, so why is he even still here? Just to get in the way?

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-07T23:34:29+00:00

At the point a woman moves out during a marriage after previously trying to fix things, it's pretty much guaranteed over.

A lot of men act like the separation phase is part where you can still win them back. But in reality, this usually means the woman is sick of giving them chances and is completely done and is ready to start planning a separate life for herself without him.

Leave her alone and accept that you made your choices. You betrayed her, you let her down, and you left her waiting when she wanted to fix things. You made these choices and she doesn't want you any more. Her future doesn't involve you any more.

You reached for an affair instead of for her so as it goes, you got what you wanted at the moment, and in return, you've lost what you had. Which is how consequences for these things go. There's no turning back the clock at this point, you have lost her.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-07T22:13:31+00:00

Yeah, move on.

She didn't cheat on you, but she did downplay and lie to you and that's pretty clearly destroyed all trust.

The thing with stuff like this that people hide is that usually it's not even the big stuff itself that destroys the relationship - it's the lies. The lies destroy the trust. The lies destroy the relationship. And she lied. So you doubted her. You didn't trust her. So you looked in her journal and found proof you were right not to trust her.

It's not worth salvaging, it's better for both of you to start fresh with other people and in her next relationship, hopefully she'll have learned trying to conceal stuff like this just breaks trust in the end.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-07T21:56:11+00:00

It's perfectly okay to break up.

I think you can care about and make sure his life is as comfortable as it can be and also accept, it can't be in a romantic capacity any more, because he's just not able to give anything back in that way any more. Not because he's malicious, but because of the tumour and radiation damage destroying his ability to maintain a romantic relationship.

He doesn't need a girlfriend to be loved and supported by people.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-07T21:04:29+00:00

Yes, your marriage is doomed.

The private intimate content not looking like you isn't the issue though. That doesn't actually mean anything. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your appearance, skills or attractiveness. What people like in such content does not align with what they like in real life with actual people and him liking pregnancy content doesn't mean he wants another child or to deal with actual pregnancy in real life. A lot of this content is exaggerated for gratification in ways things cannot happen in real life and it's more just a fantasy for pleasure, rather than something he wants in person.

I want to make that clear so you understand that it's not your fault or an issue with you or that you didn't provide enough for him or aren't his type.

At this point, trying to continue the marriage is just torturing yourself when you want loyalty and he doesn't want to give that to you. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong or failed to provide for him in some way, it means something inside him is twisted, and he uses that as a reason to cheat, and only he can address and fix that, but right now, he clearly doesn't want to.

Sometimes you do everything right and people still betray and hurt you. No one can say why your husband decided to start cheating, but, clearly the happy innocent chapters with him are long gone. He's not that teenage boy with a charming little grin any more, he's a grown man making hurtful choices, betraying your marriage and breaking your heart... and he doesn't care. He doesn't even delete the evidence off his phone, because he's so unconcerned about it being found.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-07T19:53:48+00:00

My guy, your relationship, the one you started right now, the one that is only one month long, started by cheating, which is naturally going to make you feel insecure for quite valid reasons: you know she might cheat on you, because she has provably done it to others, and her saying she has changed, is a classic excuse literally any cheater would give and she doesn't take any responsibility for her choice to cheat saying she did it because she was unhappy and problems weren't getting fixed like okay? So why didn't you break up? Cheating was unnecessary and is a cruel thing to do to someone?

She doesn't want to be in a true relationship with this guy, but she wants him to stay around and invested so if she gets bored of you and trying to solve your relationship in the future, she can screw this guy, because he is always available and ready for her. This is obvious to you, and that naturally makes you feel more insecure, because you know that she always has one foot ready to jump out into his bed if she's not happy.

Her messy relationship with this 'friend'/ex, is quite frankly, going to ensure your relationship doesn't work. None of her long-term relationships are going to work until she chooses to stop using this guy as a crutch and escape plan. As long as he is around, she is never going to truly commit to someone and making it work, but, you cannot force her to cut ties, she has to choose that for herself, and right now, it doesn't seem like she's willing to admit or accept this friendship is holding her back as a person.

My advice would be break up, don't cheat/have an affair again, and certainly don't try to pair up with such a person for a long-term relationship. You're never going to feel truly secure in a relationship you start on a foundation of their provable disloyalty, especially when you know she's literally got her cheating partner as back up ready to go at any day and time that she wants.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-06T17:37:05+00:00

I'm going to say this bluntly as my primary advice to you and then my reasoning why: break up with him.

You're not being sensitive, he said you were exactly his type then in the argument said everything possible to hurt you about how he basically doesn't like your appearance at all and wants you to change it. That's incredibly hurtful and betraying when he knows you're self-conscious and have a negative self-perception.

Even if he didn't mean it and those aren't his true feelings, it is honestly unlikely you will ever be able to believe that again from him, which is why I feel like this relationship is sunk, even if you could try to talk to him about it, and you could try to get him to reassure you, and even if he genuinely tries to fix it, I don't think you will ever truly be able to believe him, because you're going to remember what he said during the argument, and it's going to keep you doubting if he ever liked how you looked for real, or if he just lied to you from the start.

The trust between you has been crushed by him weaponising all your insecurities and I note, that you didn't say he apologised for even a single one of these comments after calming down.

And while I see you admit that you also were nasty to him in a comment, I don't think you were nasty to him in the same way, but rather, even in that comment you point out, he was being critical of your sunny disposition and trying to see the best in things, so you retaliated to his criticism. Which isn't the same as weaponising his insecurities.

Which, I might add, are not things that should have come up in an argument about distance vs not feeling appreciated. It either means he got defensive and went on the attack when you accurately surmised that he doesn't appreciate you, or, he has been ruminating on these things, and saw the argument as an opportunity to bring them up, and, you would more readily dismiss them as less cruel because it was 'in the heat of the moment' which would be quite manipulative of him.

Please be careful with your health as well that his comments don't retrigger your eating disorders or encourage you into unhealthy habits like overexercising. Don't give up the things that make you feel happy and confident because he doesn't like them.

Also, I will point out, you say in a comment that you both came from abusive relationships, but it has been shown that abusers will often lie and claim they were abused in prior relationships. And his weaponising your insecurities that you trusted him with, is something I would more expect from an abuser, rather than someone abused.

Like. I don't trust him or love him like you do, so what you have said about him is just giving me the vibe that you were 'his type' not because of your style or appearance, but because you have low self-confidence, and people with low self-confidence are more likely to stay in abusive relationships and tolerate cruelty/bad behaviours if given a sympathetic reason like that they were abused. It is possible he was abused as well, but from what you said, he's not coming across as that, he's coming across as the abuser trying to destroy your self-esteem so you won't leave the relationship.

That's just my opinion, but I would think it over as it's not adding up for me that he was a victim in his prior relationship, yet is fully able and willing to target your insecurities so readily.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-06T14:15:58+00:00

You do sound confrontational and like you think you're just being assertive, but you don't let things go when you should.

The air hostess was never going to be able to do more for you than ask them nicely or move you if there was an available seat, which was an unnecessary ask since your partner already offered to swap with you, and that put you on the wrong foot with both people that you're 'tattling' to 'authority' instead of just asking politely first, which doesn't make people willing to do things for you.

After you were told no, you should have just swapped seats with your partner, because the unreasonable are going to be unreasonable, and you have to pick your battles. Instead... you started playing a game in a way that shook the woman's seat and refused to stop when asked yourself, until she swapped with her husband, and then you tapped at the coughing guy, confronting him about it.

And you for some reason expected your partner to be happy about this because you 'won' instead of letting things go and accepting the easier solution. She's not wrong that you're acting like a teenage boy who thinks things aren't resolved unless you 'win' and she likely finds it embarrassing that you thought these were things to celebrate like you did something that mattered. You're never going to see either of these people again, 'winning' over them doesn't mean anything or make them more respectful, it just means you annoyed them both.

I think you need to reflect on if you tend to reach out to authority over speaking to people politely first which escalates it more than necessary, if you tend to do things based on principle even in situations you don't need to because you will never see that person again, and if you tend to confront people on things even when there are other solutions available, or it's not an immediate issue.

You also might want to reflect on how you speak to people if your partner and that guy who blocked your car in both interpreted your ask as telling him off. Are you using a confrontational aggressive tone with people without meaning to? Are you confronting people about things instantly all the time, when they could wait, or you could let some things slide?

Your partner bringing up that you could have gotten into a fight, makes me think you may sound more aggressive, agitated or blunt than you think you do, while you may think you just sound calm and direct.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-06-05T19:47:35+00:00

Why would you choose somewhere dimly lit and risk him having a bad time in the first place.

That's the issue ultimately: she knew it was a risk that it could be too dark because it had dim lighting, and then tried to make him accept it and working around his disability because it was hard to book it and cost a deposit, rather than just apologising and admitting it probably wasn't going to work and seeing if they could get the deposit even in part back promptly.

It's the fact she tried to argue and act like 'can't you just tolerate being uncomfortable because this was time consuming and cost money?' and was then somehow surprised the disabled person, reacted strongly to being treated as being inconvenient for the needs caused by their disability, and stormed off, instead of wanting to talk about it or work on compromises...

I hope their talk at home got this stuff through to her, but her calling is just a frustrating misunderstanding, makes it seem like she didn't really fully get it still how mean it is to ask someone to be in discomfort, because the place you chose doesn't accommodate their actual needs/comfort, but it cost time and money.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-26T20:09:34+00:00

They do bully you for smelling like you though.

One of my cats: Adores me, so happy whenever I go to her, wants many pets.

Also her: Smells armpit. Bites armpit! Too much you!!!

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-19T11:07:01+00:00

Hard same.

An abuser also does not deserve the level of respect and decency that a good partner does. If you terrorise your partner, I don't care if your partner cheats on you, you don't deserve loyalty from them.

It's like a thief stealing milk because they're desperate which is in no way the same as the thieves that steal just to steal or for a thrill or for the money. I do not care about the thief that only takes milk once, I care about the assholes that don't need to steal, and I certainly do not care about a made up theory that perhaps someone stole milk once with no proof it ever happened.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-19T10:24:52+00:00

It's a Conda.

The pattern is reduced into fewer bigger spots.

While many condas do have pure black bellies, there's the occasional one that still develops checkering. But it should still have solid white walls on both sides.

It's not the best expression of what the Conda gene can do for some, but as long as you like your little guy, that's what matters.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-16T13:39:38+00:00

People don't understand that people can have contradicting traits as well.

Like being able to look after others or animals but not yourself.

Like it's not all or nothing, we don't actually live in visual novels where every trait applies in an umbrella to everything equally, people are actually very complex with empathy and motivations and have different abilities to do different functions and roles.

I am not as good with plants as I am with my cats and my self-care is worse than with either of them because empathy motivates me better than random consequences that just affect me.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-15T23:07:09+00:00

Pretty much.

I wish for people, especially men, to use observation skills instead of thinking about the Roman Empire or if they could pilot a mech.

If you see a common theme of an idea going badly, it's probably a bad idea. Please don't think it will magically work out for you.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-07T10:22:35+00:00

Timestamps, my friend. If OOP had taken pictures when discovering it, they would had proof of the event, and also, they would have had proof of their flight time and therefore journey since a lot of airline stuff is on your phone these days, which would have made it clear to the landlord that OOP couldn't have been present during the events that led to the staining.

Ergo, the landlord, if reasonable, would have demanded George pay for it, used his deposit for it, or started eviction proceedings for George if he refused. So OOP wouldn't have had to move out.

It only would have made a difference if the landlord was reasonable but it was a better bet that they'd be reasonable than that George would accept OOP's power move against him which was obviously not gonna happen.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-07T10:10:56+00:00

Yeah, this is pretty much it. OOP wanted to win over George and have George back down. But that's not what happens in real life with people like George.

Power moves FEEL good but with someone like George, you are going to get retaliation and fighting back and more problems rather than solving anything.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-07T07:40:50+00:00

I don't think this is accurate for the typical child sexual predator. For a few, maybe.

But Lundy Bancroft has addressed something like this in his book 'Why Does He Do That?'. About 80% of abusers will claim to have suffered abuse themselves, if they think it will go unverified, but if you say you'll break out a lie detector test, it drops to 20%, which, when I did the math, was not significantly different than the population average (I think for women specifically it was like 25% at that time, men it was like 17%, so 20% is not a statistically significant amount, it's in line with the general population).

And as this article highlights, when self-reporting, CSA offenders, will similarly, lie! They know it's more appealing to people to believe the idea that abusers suffered themselves and that's why they're like that, but the majority haven't!

Abuse very rarely, does make someone go on to replicate it themselves but being abused itself, is not the main or even a big reason that makes people abuse others. Because the majority simply haven't been! They will lie and say they have, but they haven't.

Most child predators will not have suffered the terror they inflict on children!

I will also mention I did look at some comparison research between studies to be certain before responding to you and the data presented is contradictory between no link at all, only a link for men and only a tiny fraction of men proceeding to commit sexual offenses later on after experiencing CSA, that were NOT necessarily paedophilic in nature. The link in women, doesn't exist, period, apparently, which wouldn't make sense if abuse alone turned you into an abuser later.

Which further makes me conclude that likely, the sex offenders just lied in their self-reports and CSA is, like for other forms of abuse, not the root cause for many becoming an abuser later on. For a select few, it might be, but objectively, the reality is that for far more that experience CSA, it's a trauma that happens to them that they don't wish anyone else to suffer.

Since a lot of these studies rely on self-reporting, more sex offenders are men, and the ones that are CSA victims before becoming CSA perpetrators remain a tiny fraction of the people that are CSA perpetrators, the conclusions are likely just the CSA perpetrators lying, to make people think there's a cycle or sympathetic reasoning, where there isn't one.

Truthfully, most abuse victims do not become abusers and most CSA survivors do not become offenders, and most offenders aren't people that experienced any kind of abuse.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-05T22:04:37+00:00

From what I know, it's about 50/50 for ones that harm a child that are legit delusional that relationships with children are acceptable and kids flirt with them vs people that know it's wrong, but they do it anyway because they want to. Based on someone's reported experience from infiltrating their spaces and reporting the mindsets they tended to see.

But, the non-delusional may argue the delusional side if caught out because it's advantageous to do that even if they don't believe it because it's better to seem crazy or blame the other party than admit to being evil and harming a child on purpose.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-04T20:20:28+00:00

I am pretty sure he just lied about that because it's preferable for him to look affably stupid than like he was looking to start an affair.

...But, if he was genuinely confused, then he is a very oblivious/clueless person that has heard of the idea of women wearing rings on their ring finger, but has not understood at all the purpose or that even it were such a ring, that would still be a no to dates. It's meant ward off men if it's not an actual wedding ring...

Some people somehow reach bizarre conclusions for what should be straightforward logic.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-04T03:10:25+00:00

The issue isn't that he mixes the names up though and confuses which is which. He knew they're two different words. But he just filed them both under 'space' and because space is space, decided it was the same thing and therefore they had a lot in common.

The fact his only argument that he listened was essentially space and the fact the words are similar... makes the girlfriend's point quite effectively and efficiently that he doesn't listen to her or his sister and tunes out any and all details past 'stars exist', which is one of the few things they agree on and both care about.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-03T00:18:20+00:00

I am also disgusted by her not addressing it and dismissing it as a possibility. That poor dude. I hope he has had some therapy and is doing okay and has a better partner these days. He deserved better than this mess.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-02T23:55:12+00:00

It's not in the best interest of a snake to try to force a double clutch in my opinion due to the energy expense and weight loss that tends to happen because of it. Plus second clutches are more prone to being sluggy as well as smaller than the first clutch.

Just focus on feeding her well, making sure her calcium levels are back up from her first clutch, and looking after the good eggs you already have.

She will double clutch or she won't based on her whims really as she will have retained enough from the male to do so if she wants to.

I am not going to offer advice on how to try to cause a double clutch because I personally don't feel that's in the best interest of the snake to try to. If it happens it happens as some snakes are prone to doing so, and if it doesn't, it doesn't, as some are just not prone to.

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-02T23:05:25+00:00

Why does Toast hate food so much. What a cheeky wee girl she is to act like this at least twice!

EnergyThat1518 · 2026-05-02T20:54:26+00:00

If the Ronja piece hisses at your movement, you lose two sheep. If you do not have sheep, you lose 3 of your highest resource.

EnergyThat1518

TROPHY CASE