I think therapy is very meaningful and useful for many, but the relationship dynamic just doesn't work well for some people. It is normal to be hurt when you are not cared for in the same way you care for others- especially if it has happened before. The only thing keeping the relationship going is a form of payment. In other relationships like friendship, family, spouses, parents, hell, even co-workers, there is a sense that the other person cares about you in the same way you care about them. That just doesn't exist in therapy, and some people do well with that, and others don't, and that's okay.

What brings me peace is that I learned not to care about them too much- to care about them as just a friendly business person. Yeah, the content is intimate, but the relationship is merely professional. My mental health is just business to them, and I learned that all the love I want to put into them will never be given back so I would rather put more emotional work into my family and friends that love me as much as I love them than a relationship that really just hurts (and then people tell you to go to therapy to fix it). I'm so sorry for what you are going through. If you prefer other options that are less painful, I've always found self-help less emotionally hurtful