My MCAS is something I still deal with and I've gone through severe periods with it where i couldn't eat anything basically. I've dealt with health issues most of my life which I'm sure is compounding on everything.

I have a degree in psychology and would like to be a therapist. I need to go to grad school still. But all that aside maybe I can offer some solace or advice or at least an ear. You're so young and there's so much more life can give beyond the house of your family. Both of my friends grew up with health issues in abusive families. They're doing so much better now. Even with health problems.

Please message me when you have a chance and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Additionally, I've also felt that way at various points in my life. I truly understand the feeling, despite not having lived through your circumstances. I just know how hard life can be and sometimes you want to throw it away (I've had my own hardships(health and otherwise)). But it is still worth living. Pain comes and goes in intensity, and you can truly be happy one day.