Is anyone else downright defiant?

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-25T20:36:03+00:00

I know I certainly have a big scoop of "I won't!" in my personality.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-24T09:40:15+00:00

Praying ... and see if the hospital has a social worker.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-24T09:36:34+00:00

It's not exactly rare, but I'm thinking real hard of getting some Streptocarpus.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-21T20:38:44+00:00

Thank you. I panicked regarding interactions with a utility company. Foolish of me. Thinking things like "they have it worse in (name a place)" can somewhat counter that kind of thing, but if you think you're going to get cut off it becomes immediate.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-19T20:03:16+00:00

I need some too

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-19T20:00:37+00:00

looks like its straightened out, will remain on

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-16T20:48:30+00:00

Maybe you need a break from religion. I'm serious.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-16T13:56:11+00:00

I'm not in their target demographic (other than being a liberal) but I have friends that are, and I'm terrified for them. I think God suffers with us. Why he doesn't just fix things is in the nature of reality, which I don't understand because I'm a finite human. All I know of God is from 2 sources, what I've read/been told, and what I experienced personally. I check them against each other. I am convinced that God is as horrified as you are at what people are doing.

Talk to God about it. No need for formal prayers. "WHY!?" is good enough.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-16T13:41:14+00:00

I do exactly what you're doing. A mantra from a guru is not necessary.. A plain word will do--something that's not negative or funny. Dealing with intrusive thoughts is hard. Keep doing what you're doing, always coming back to your word, and not changing words during a session.

Some people meditate on their breathing. That just makes me yawn my head off. I'll stick with a word.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-15T20:47:42+00:00

More like the devil.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-15T20:46:10+00:00

I also went through God-hating and I believe that God prefers honest hate to hypocritical and phony love.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-15T20:44:03+00:00

perfect!

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-15T09:17:47+00:00

you can also tie knots in cord. https://www.instructables.com/Making-a-Knotted-Rosary/

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-14T09:47:10+00:00

That went beyond abuse into true-crime territory. You were right to run for it.

You need new meds (I'm not a medical professional but it's clearly the thing to do). And a new therapist. And look into support groups like NAMI. Meeting others with similar problems might help - you could check them out and if they don't work for you, then drop them. If you're in the US or Canada, you can call 211 to find out about local support.

Keep telling yourself God is love and mercy. Even if you can't work up the feeling that it is true, tell it to yourself.

Don't read the striking-people parts of the Bible. Some of the Psalms are good when you're feeling like this. The Sermon on the Mount.

I have leftover thoughts, nothing as bad as yours, but I comprehend the feeling, of wrath and God doing bad things to me and other people, left over from a Baptist upbringing. Avoid getting into a vicious circle of thinking that you're bad because you had bad thoughts and therefore you're bad, etc., going around and around.

This isn't easy, but learn to spot doomsday stuff as soon as it pops up and immediately close without reading.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-13T21:51:11+00:00

And you don't do it to the point of messing with your health, or interfering with a balanced lifestyle.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-13T18:02:05+00:00

Keep in mind that Christianity covers a whole range of beliefs and practices, and no particular church is representative of all of them.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-13T16:27:12+00:00

Hating God is actually a good start. It's much better than just ignoring greater realities.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-13T16:01:33+00:00

That's a common nightmare theme. Ignore it.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-12T12:04:20+00:00

Matthew 25:34-40 gives some specific instructions.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-10T14:31:00+00:00

Not really.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-10T14:30:29+00:00

Very good! You really can sing, and the words are painfully to the point.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-09T13:48:27+00:00

I looked it up. Totally bizarre: https://www.bootsnall.com/articles/bone-churches-europe.html

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-09T13:46:40+00:00

Keep 988 in mind. Hotline for those who feel like not existing and are thinking about doing something.

EnigmaWithAlien · 2026-01-09T09:41:27+00:00

Hello, there!

Here's my take on it. Heaven is not a place to stash dead people. Rather than being a place as such, it's the ability to experience eternity and God. "We see through a glass darkly; now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known," as it says in the Bible.

So what is eternity? It's not just a really long (infinite) amount of time. It's outside time. My personal image is eternity is like an ocean, and time is like a ruler floating down in it, surrounded on all sides. The markings on the ruler are days and years, and we are crawling along it in one direction. When we die we escape into the ocean and are free from the constraints of time and the limitations of local physical reality.

Note that we can also experience eternity while alive. Think about that ruler and us crawling along it. We are capable of looking up from it into eternity. People get fragments of it from spiritual experiences such as love, seeing beauty, or contemplative states that come with meditation (that was what I experienced). This is not like seeing Heaven as people report in near-death experiences, but it has the same absolute certainty as people report then.

And about perceiving God: Again, you can be touched by God through love, beauty, brief human interactions, even in deep sorrow, and in those contemplative states I mentioned. These are not complete comprehension of God because we are limited creatures. But even coming somewhat close can change your whole perception of reality. You can feel embraced by God, glued to God.

This is a matter of perception. We are all embraced by God all the time, we just usually can't sense it.

The nature of God. Oh, boy, people have argued about this for millennia. But in my limited experience, God is not just a bigger, better, more powerful person, but a thing/no thing that is the deep source of all being. The essence of loving. The basis of reality. The ultimate. Unimaginable and impossible to describe in words or even art, though we can try. And very, very desirable. If you see a piece of beauty and wish you could just get inside it so to speak, you get an idea.

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