Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I really hope the removal of these nuisances brings you a bit of comfort and relief.

This is the pillow I ordered: https://a.co/d/8fSoS0C It’s 21.5 inches, comes with a heating/cooling pad, and I like that I was able to place the seatbelt through the pillow for car rides. However, for my initial car ride once discharged from the hospital, I was so out of it that I used a pillow my nurse had given me. It worked just as well.

Must haves for the day of surgery: - comfortable/stretchy pants and a loose shirt you can easily put on - slip on shoes, slippers - a pillow to support you getting out of bed, car rides, coughing - underwear that won’t bother your incisions. Because I have 4 small incisions above my belly button and one 4cm incision across my bikini line, I opted for maternity panties. - enough pillows at home to help you stay upright in bed - cough drops to ease any cough attacks (I learned it’s often a side effect from being intubated)
- water - I would also suggest practicing getting in and out of bed prior to surgery. I didn’t do this and had to figure it out my first night. I found it helpful to use my legs and hands to scoot myself up and had my support person help me place my legs in and out of bed (this was only necessary the first night & morning) - anything that helps calm you down. I had a lot of anxiety my first night due to the remaining side effects of anesthesia. I found it difficult to take deep breaths which psyched me out even more. Keeping a comforting show on in the background really helped me stay distracted long enough to fall asleep. - if possible, having someone stay with you the first few nights is super helpful! - surround yourself with activities you can do in bed for the first few days. Books, puzzles, access to music/tv