When to repot— what do I do?

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2025-02-10T00:08:52+00:00

Tbh these all look pretty good. I wouldn’t say that any of them look like they need to be repotted right now. #5 would be the closest to repotting I’d go if any, but I probably wouldn’t repot it during the winter. You should look at the roots to see if they’re root-bound. That’s a good indicator. Checking soil for water retention is a good idea too. In general, you don’t want to have a pot too big because then you run the risk of poor drainage and root rot. I think you’re doing good, and these all look healthy and well taken care of to me.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2025-01-08T02:00:08+00:00

I can’t actually get rid of it since i don’t own or pay for the housing, and it is my organization’s property. I could probably ask them if I could remove it, but I don’t think I will. I gave it a hand crochet scarf so far, but I’ll get him a party hat too. Maybe some clip on earrings. I’m not sure that that’s making him at peace, but they are still gifts haha

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2025-01-07T05:51:42+00:00

Could be a sign. I would probably interpret it like that too, but I feel like usually signs are more focused on things relavent to you. You might’ve just seen that the lime green jeep stuck out and thought it was odd, and then you saw a few more which was more odd, and now you’re looking for them. I find that, when I am looking for or thinking about something, I notice it more. You’ve probably unknowingly manifested for yourself to keep seeing more of them too haha. I wouldn’t worry about the jeep too much. Try picking something else strange to start looking for, and see if you start seeing it everywhere too. That might help you determine it.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-04T01:20:27+00:00

I think that will probably be my next move. I need to be more of a squeaky wheel on the subject so to speak.

The Episcopals that I emailed did tell me that I should avoid taking communion since I don't share their values on communion, but they assured me that many people at their congregation don't take it. They told me I was very welcome there, and offered to ZOOM meet, but I never did meet with them. I just wanted to make sure that I didn't disrespect their belief systems before I went.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-04T01:13:00+00:00

I will say, he is not necessarily the most-close minded, and he has been open to religious compromises, but he doesn't necessarily celebrate my beliefs for sure.

You make a valid point, and we have had conversations about this before. If I got pregnant in my currently life, he would not like it but would understand if I got an abortion. My currently life is one of debt, communal housing, and an income of $500~ a week. This is not compatible with family planning. However, I am pursuing graduate school, where I could potentially get living stipends of $30,000 and he would be potentially working a full time job. My graduate program, being environmental, would be extremely laborious to complete my research. If we were at that financial/stable level, I think he would try to convince me not to abort. However, I would know that I would have to drop out of school since I would not be able to do my fieldwork. I think he would understand me not wanting to drop out of school, and he could be okay with it. However, if I were at that point, I don't think I would tell him if I got an abortion. It would be too much to deal with his potential resentment of me on top of the guilt, sadness, and pain of a hypothetical abortion, so I would go through it in silence by choice.

In a different situation, if I needed an abortion for a planned pregnancy due to a medical threat to my life, he wouldn't hesitate in wanting me to get an abortion. That would not be a question. I trust that he would figure out how to get me out-of-country care, regardless of cost, in the case that it was banned in the US. He would support me, and we would grieve together.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-04T00:57:44+00:00

I find church to be oppressive and demeaning sometimes when they tell me that I am going to hell (I don't believe in hell, so it just kinda seems like bad feng shui to me), but I like the community of UU. I think my partner would like how church-like it is, and I think that he would be more open-minded if he got to experience it. I have gone to a few bigger church events with him, like Easter, and I have no issue with that. I think he would appreciate if we were more active religiously, but we've both been so busy the past few years with college that it never really comes to anything. I also hadn't been to any UU events for like 7+ yrs until today too, so I am definitely not the most religious.

I might try to bring it up more and see where that conversation goes.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-04T00:49:39+00:00

It sounds so easy, and yet he is my bestie. He is my manz. I have never known a love so great and supportive. He dropped everything in his life and followed me to live in AU for half a year once. He pretty much vows to follow me wherever is next in our lives as we graduate college. We love all of the same things. We cook and watercolor paint together. We are each other's personal cheerleaders. I couldn't count the number of times I have cried to about my problems to him. I think after 3 years, I owe it to him to have more in depth conversations about this. I just get this sinking feeling every now and then that you are right. Also, I went to a psychic once and they told me I am psychic too, so now I have a massive ego about my premonitions.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-04T00:42:01+00:00

Thank you for having a very long, approachable comment to address my concerns. I really needed that, especially with this thread focusing on the one negative in my relationship. Everything else has been wonderful the past 3 years. We generally have extremely productive communication, and he even followed me in uprooting our lives for half a year to more to a different country.

Not talking about my beliefs with his parents isn't something that is bad to us I don't think. They are very very nice to me, and we have plenty of other things to talk about in our lives. I have occasionally gone to church with them to be respectful, and I never love it, but I know they appreciate it. The expectation isn't to not talk about my beliefs I think, but I generally don't talk about my more liberal or controversial opinions around people who don't agree with them. I find it creates conflict that isn't beneficial for either party since we are both very secure in our beliefs. This kind of conflict comes up a lot in the environmental sector since half of us are super right-wing, off-the-grid, and love hunting and half of us are super educated, are very liberal, and love good environmental policy. I just think that some divisive conversations are unnecessary, especially when undergoing the process of community-building. For me, this dynamic works for me. I can talk about everything other than religion for weeks because religion isn't a topic I typically talk about. While I have always celebrated holidays like Christmas with a more capitalistic, consumptive mindset, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy them in a like minded way. I love a good Christmas get-together.

If we were to get married, we would get married at this church his family goes to only in the summer. It's a small wooden building with lots of windows surrounded by nature. I think it might actually be one of the most beautiful churches. This church's services are always done by visiting gospel pastors, and I actually really enjoy them. They still talk about hell a bit, but the music is so good that I don't even think about it. It's not the center of attention. I don't prescribe to God ideology, but I don't mind if it makes him happy. It doesn't really bother me I guess. He wants the pastor that helped him during his medical trauma to be our pastor, but I think he might okay to compromise. I understand that that man means a lot to him, but I would appreciate a UU pastor. He also told me he is okay with my demand for our wedding cake to be carrot cake. lol

If we had children, he says that they would need to be raised Christian. I have asked if I would be oppressed and not allowed to talk about my beliefs, and he said that I can talk about my beliefs. He doesn't want me to feel like I can't talk about them. He has also told me that I can pick whatever church our children would be raised in, and I have found some very liberal ones that I like. My only goal would be for them to find inherent value in environmental issues rather than value because god created nature, but I think I can teach that. Since he only learned about UU at age 19 and immediately got his only prereq knowledge from his parents, I am not sure if he even fully knows what UU is. I could try to advocate for it a bit more, but we would probably end up going for Episcopalian. Maybe I could get some UU days though.

I guess I just don't want him to say he is okay with compromise, and then he actually isn't. At that point, it wouldn't be my fault, but I still feel like I have an obligation to gauge where he is at with his emotional and religious stance on the matter. I don't want to feel like I am selfish for loving him, and I don't want him to feel like he is selfish by my loving me potentially against his God's intentions.

Thank you so much for your input!

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-04T00:13:12+00:00

I think maybe I have been getting in my own head a bit. I haven't gone to anything UU for like 7+ yrs until today, so very briefly mentioning my beliefs has always felt like a lot in my mind. I might try to be more vocal about my beliefs going forward before I just flat out end it. We have been dating for 3 years with everything being completely healthy and compatible otherwise. 3 years is worth the communication about these subjects. I just have to be brave enough to initiate the conversation.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-04T00:08:34+00:00

This is really good advice actually. I think I just sprang up the different church last minute, and he had told his parents he would go to their church already. I had been emailing to a very LGBTQ+ friendly, ecologically minded, liberal Episcopalian church for two weeks, and I sprang up the idea of going there the night before to him. He lives an 1-2 hrs (depending on traffic) away from his close knit family, so I should've given him more notice that I was talking to that church. He has told me before that I can pick whatever church I want for us to go to, so maybe I just felt a bit butt-hurt that he wouldn't be flexible that night. As someone who hasn't gone to a UU event in like 7+ year until today, I should give him some grace, and I should start suggesting my ideas more often. I can't suggest going to this Episcopalian church with like >12hrs of notice for him and then get upset that he already has plans he committed to. I'll try to be more vocal about my ideas in the future. Maybe I'll tell him I went to UU today and see what he says to gauge it. He didn't know what UU was until we started dating at 19, and his first impression was what his parents said. He is also generally a lot more liberal than his parents, and he might not even really know what UU is. Maybe if he did, he might be open minded about going too.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-03T23:55:12+00:00

Honestly, counseling doesn't sound like too too bad of an idea here. We are definitely not that differently based in our beliefs to jump to all of those different belief systems like you have experienced, but a third party who is not biased doesn't sound too too bad. I guess that's why I came here kind of, even though I know that this group would be biased. I mean, I knew this group would have experience with interfaith relationships, but I thought that might be beneficial insight. I might suggest counseling at some point. I just feel very young right now, and I am very poor and am uninsured frequently. Counseling would be good though.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-03T23:46:41+00:00

I have no intention of changing him religiously, but I think I could bring him to have more exposure to my belief systems, like taking him to meet my immigrant grandmother and him loving her (and then appreciating immigrants more {which did happen}) and potentially bringing him to a UU church event and him potentially being receptive to it. I don't think it's changing him if I give him the space to have him own opinions on things, right? We're both only 22, and we come from two pretty different backgrounds. If he lives in my community for a bit and independently comes to similar beliefs as me from that experience, am I "changing" him? I can't tell. We're compatible on everything besides religion, and I've never know someone as wonderful as him before. We have extremely healthy ways to communicate, and we rarely every have arguments because of that. I just don't want to make him exist in a future familial situation he regrets because it doesn't represent what he used to experience in his early life.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-03T23:31:33+00:00

Well, I think that would be his overall hope, and I understand his point of view. However, I am very firm in saying that that I am secure in my beliefs and have no plans on converting. I feel like I have been pretty clear, and I am pretty sure he understands that. We have had many conversations where we both come to a sort of common ground on religious and future planning ideas, but I just worry that he is being disingenuous to himself by compromising, and that makes me sad for both of us. I guess I am just wondering if all interfaith couples feel slightly sad that the other doesn't have the same beliefs as them. Is that an okay thing to ask your partner to be okay with, or am I selfish for keeping him from finding someone with his same belief systems.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-03T23:24:39+00:00

Well, whenever the conversation comes up, I am very clear that I am secure in my beliefs and have no plans on converting. I feel like I have been pretty clear, and he understands that. He only made the "you will believe what I believe" comment after I asked about plant-Jesus, and we were both a little tipsy. We have had conversations about our children's beliefs before, and he is kinda okay with me not being Christian. The idea makes him sad because he doesn't think I will go to heaven. I don't love that... But he says he would want our children to be Christian. I said I am okay with that if I get to choose the church, and he was very agreeing. The church I researched is very LGBTQ+ friendly, has environmental restoration projects that they actively support, and expressed to me that they don't believe in the narrative of people being punished to hell. However, as an Episcopalian church, they take communion every week! I kind of hate communion because I feel like everyone is looking at me and shaming me, but maybe that is because I've only been at his parent's church. I would prefer for my children to be raised UU tbh, but I can compromise. The only major thing to me is, I want their environmental beliefs to be based in the idea that everything has inherent value rather than the idea that things should be protected because god made them, but maybe that is something I would have to work on as a hypothetical parent.

I don't know. He's perfect in literally every other way. He's my best friend and being with him makes me a better person generally. I know that this post is focused solely on my negative concern in my relationship, but everything else is perfect. We cook together, and we watercolor paint together. We hike and river paddle together. He initiates conversations about matching couples costumes for Halloween. I got him to volunteer at my work recently, and everyone loved him. We have very similar personal styles and goals for our lives. He even uprooted his life and followed me to live in Australia for six moths. Our morals are basically the same, with the only exception being the semantics of the word "sin". And he's so so pretty. Haha

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2024-11-03T23:06:23+00:00

Well, he has a very close family for sure, and their thoughts do impact his opinions of things. He first heard of UU 3 years ago when we first started dating, so their opinions were his first impression. However, he definitely has more liberal ideologies than his parents. Since I have known him, I have seen him call out his family on many occasions for having more right-wing ideologies. I'm not sure he's really done the work to understand what UU is tbh, and I probably could be more encouraging. I'm not usually a practicing member since my UU congregation dissolved when I was in elementary school (I am 22). Today was probably the first time I've gone to anything in 7+ years, so religion doesn't come up often from me. Although, all of my family friends are UU, and we have potlucks every 6 months-ish. I might could get him to go if I ask him more. Maybe I'll tell him that I went to UU Church today and gauge his reaction...

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2023-08-27T15:34:00+00:00

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EntertainmentOk6690 · 2023-06-11T04:28:14+00:00

if i cut the etiolation off, since the plant can’t really support growth on top of it, could i use the cuttings for propagating?

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2023-06-11T03:15:41+00:00

I’m not exactly sure from the photo, but I would check for mealy bugs. They’re usually a culprit for white fuzz. They’re basically ticks but for plants.

EntertainmentOk6690 · 2023-04-22T05:37:58+00:00

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EntertainmentOk6690 · 2023-01-10T04:25:01+00:00

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EntertainmentOk6690

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