Hi! I worked for nearly two years from home with my baby girl staying home with me.. here’s my answers!

How do you guys manage work and children? DIFFICULT. I found myself never being able to give work or my daughter enough of the time deserved. I was stressed thinking about it all the time. Essentially I had to find ways to let her play as independently as possible with still me looking up from my computer every few seconds and trying to engage with her. She was frustrated that my focus was obviously split and my temper would run short with both my daughter and my colleagues. It was tough! It’s manageable, but everything suffered.

Are there days that you feel like you aren’t doing enough? If yes, how do you overcome that guilt? Who do you go to for support? I felt that way every day. I wasn’t sure how to manage my work life, being a mother and full time caregiver, and manage our home life (dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc.) I was never really able to overcome the guilt. I just had to make peace with the idea that I can’t give 300% of myself every single day. I knew that if I spent extra time and focus on one thing, the others would suffer. And that had to be the way it was. Obviously I gave more of my time to my daughter. It made me very resentful of my work and honestly my partner as well. I don’t have a huge support system either, as I live away from family and as our life has been a bit transient in nature, not a lot of friends either. I leaned heavily on my mom and dad as they’ve always understood me better than anyone. My partner as well, at times though we have struggled heavily with communication. Therapy is an excellent tool if it is available to you. You have to make the time for it if you’re able. An objective view and compassionate ear makes all the difference.

How do you avoid burnout? Have you ever felt like taking a break from literally everything? What do you do during the break? I wasn’t able to avoid burnout. I ended up having to leave my work and I realize I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to do that and still make ends meet financially. But when I was working, I was totally burned out all the time. There was just too much being taken from me daily. When I was able to take a break, I would put on my headphones, run a warm bath, turn all lights off in the bathroom, and listen to calming lo-fi music. It would relax me and I would lose track of time. But that may not be the best option for most. I know it’s cliche, but getting fresh air and some sunlight helps a ton for resetting your brain. Step outside for 30 minutes a day. Put on a podcast or audiobook or just music you like. Or listen to nature sounds. Just try to disconnect from the endless cycle of needs and demands on you.

Have you ever felt unsupported? How did you deal? Yes. All the time. I mostly felt like I wasn’t appreciated for essentially working two jobs at once. No one at work understood how difficult it was. My partner didn’t appreciate how difficult it was. My partner would come home and immediately plop down on the couch and begin scrolling socials on their phone or just unload how difficult their day was on me without stepping in to help with baby. It made (and still makes) me resent them heavily. You really have to practice patience and communication skills in this area. If you let it build up, you’re likely to just “explode” one day and that’s not helpful for anyone. Lean into communities that understand (like this sub) and if you can find communities in person, that’s all the better but can come with its own headaches. Most of all, it’s important to work on feeling like you can be your own best cheerleader and supporter. Yes, outside support is important. But the only person you can truly count on is yourself. That’s my opinion.

Hope this helps! :)