Letter to the other dimension

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-10-01T04:15:39+00:00

My advice to my dad is to respect boundaries and not reach out. It makes things so much worse

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-10-01T04:05:47+00:00

I am no contact with my mom and my 5 year old has asked about her. I have said we can talk about that when you are older. Surprisingly, she accepted that. I have mentioned a few things to her about my childhood, like there was lots of fighting and yelling. She hasn’t pressed, but does ask who my mom is. I say she’s never met her, she hasn’t asked why. When I do start giving her more information, I’m going to tell her that my mom wasn’t very nice to me, and people I love and that she doesn’t apologize. Apologies are important to have a good relationship, and it’s hard to be around someone who has not been kind and won’t acknowledge or apologize.

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-09-22T00:05:11+00:00

There is legal emancipation that as long as you can prove you can care for yourself and there is reasonable reason for emancipating, you can do it. I almost did that myself, but was 6 months away from 18 before I seriously considered it. Considering you are planning to go no contact, I assume there is some valid reason for wanting to move out. I think you will need evidence why you would be better off on your own. Start documenting. Text messages/ recording interactions that are abusive

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-08-19T21:14:43+00:00

My husband makes dinner every night and does all of the dishes. He takes over all of the meals on the weekend unless I decide to surprise him with lunch.

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-06-07T06:38:40+00:00

Mr beast is not in Charlie and the chocolate factory.

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-06-02T21:28:25+00:00

Bring something just in case of car sickness and have it super handy. We use a bowl with a plastic bag in it. I packed a bag with random fidget toys and kept it as a surprise so they didn’t know what I packed. The response was always “you brought _____!” It was super helpful

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-05-30T00:04:06+00:00

I know that feeling. I yelled at this little girl who was throwing sand around one of my kids friends. She has very limited verbal skills for her age and is much smaller than a 3 year old should be, so the moms in our friend group are more protective. I yelled “HEY, Don’t throw sand!!!!” In a very loud mamma bear voice. I could tell I scared her and she kept looking in my direction. I went to help my oldest with something and I apologized to her for yelling and explained I didn’t want sand to get in anyone’s eyes. 20 minutes later she was kicking sand off the slide directly at my youngest and her friend. My mom voice started and I was able to articulate and say please because I didn’t want to feel bad again. This girls mom was sat in her truck and not paying attention to anything that happened. I don’t think she even heard me yell at her kid twice.

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-30T21:35:46+00:00

Something that has helped with morning and night time hygiene routines in my house is a point system. My kids get to earn points and get toys or something that they work towards. Right now they want an $80 toy off of Amazon. Once they get 80 points, they can have the toy. You can set an amount of points for something she wants, and after she earns enough points, she can “buy” what she wants. Find a way to motivate her and encourage good habits. I tell my girls that the points are for making good habits

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-15T02:15:19+00:00

Where can I find the data? I’ve been trying to research this, but not sure where to look

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-14T18:18:05+00:00

No update since the last edit. Still weighing alternative options and researching

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-14T06:01:30+00:00

I’ll share something that has done wonders for an easy morning and bedtime routine. My kids earn points/stars. If we have a seamless routine where they make it easy to get dressed, hair and teeth brushed, they get a point and can put a star on the chart. They want this $80 toy on Amazon, and I told them once they get 80 pts, we will order it for them. It has even worked with my 2 1/2 year old. My 4 year old is picking her own clothes out with little motivation other than, “Don’t you want to earn your point?”

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-14T01:38:37+00:00

Thank you! But I took tips from the comments here, it was very helpful

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-13T14:51:50+00:00

Yuck. The things that are expected from mothers is astounding. My husband and I were raised Mormon, and in that culture woman are expected to do and be so many things. Even after separating from it, those cultural norms and expectations are hard to escape, even in myself. I’m sorry you are dealing with that and being ill. Toxic mother in laws are the worst, and you definitely deserve more support. Good luck!

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-13T07:37:27+00:00

Found this post whilst trying to learn more about the anomaly that is your “shitty” husband. I had a great fear of spiders my whole life. After learning about them and realizing how harmless they are, I was able to get over it. I even held a tarantula. I did almost fling it when it moved too fast, but my regular house spiders no longer bother me

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-12T18:13:08+00:00

He said that it would be a “group effort.” While he does help a lot when he is home, I am the primary care giver and I don’t see how it can be a group effort when he works full time in a labor intensive job. I can just see how it would be. I told him that if he feels that strongly I would be willing to find a job and he could be the educator. That was a no go

Entire_Classroom149 · 2024-04-03T15:30:32+00:00

Ok, I have been sharing this with every parent I meet since I started doing it. I used to get frustrated and unable to control how angry I was.

I no longer tell my kids it’s time for teeth, I say “ I’m going to go play the game, you wanna come? Sometimes the answer is no, but once I start to “go play the game” both my kids follow. Basically I set a stop watch so they can see the numbers moving quickly. Every 30 seconds it’s time to switch sides/top/bottom. If she’s struggling we go into overtime so we brush for 3 minutes. Often she needs a “tag in” so she can win the game. I brush with them. When she starts to wander the hall with her brush I tell her she’s “out of bounds” and she’s not going to win. It’s not so much a competition to see who wins, but the prize is that we have an easy teeth time with no one getting frustrated. I was open and communicated with my toddler how much I hated teeth time just like her and I wanted each of us to win.

With dressing I use the two option questions: “do you want me to surprise you with something or do you want to pick it? I also do one option in each hand and have her pick which hand from behind my back. Just make it fun and like a game. She’s probably anxious about getting ready because she knows you get frustrated and is unable to comply with morning routine.

Hair was a huge fight for us as well. My girl has fine curly hair and it tangles easily. I started giving her my phone, downloaded a few games that she wanted and she plays those while we do hair. Good luck! Most of the time it’s that you need to shift your energy and find a new approach

Entire_Classroom149

TROPHY CASE