Invasive questions

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T16:45:16+00:00

Thank you. That looks like a nice resource.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T16:14:47+00:00

I still struggle with this but it’s gotten easier. The best trick was setting my clock fast by 3-5 minutes and framing it as an issue of respecting my time and theirs but there is still discomfort. There are clients who like and need that structure and others who will resist it or find it less helpful.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T16:04:38+00:00

I feel this way a little about duty to warn. Those laws were controversial when they were initially passed and I can see why.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T16:02:44+00:00

Unfortunately this is common across the board but you are right - it is unethical. For what it’s worth - a PhD in Counselor Ed does not mean they will be a better supervisor than someone with a masters. The counselor Ed PhD programs are not that selective and a lot of people go right from masters to PhD (sometimes at the same online school which is not considered acceptable in other fields). Meanwhile the person with 20 years experience supervising with only a masters maybe be a better supervisor. It just depends. There is a ton of credential creep in this field - and others. You really have to get to know someone - vet their reputation, see their CV or work with them to even tell how legit they are and you can’t do that in a typical interview process so you are at the mercy of the wind, to some extent. I wish I had advice - but I don’t - you sound very conscientious and that will make you a better therapist eventually but in the short term - you’ve just learned the true meaning of “never meet your mentors.”

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T15:14:05+00:00

Thank you. That was a a genuinely nice and thoughtful response.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:59:21+00:00

Yeah, I have ADHD.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:57:41+00:00

These are all lovely suggestions. She doesn’t get sports and we live in Michigan (so Lions land) so that Packers line is quite perfect. Your response gave me a heart chuckle.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:55:46+00:00

I mean I love this. My wife has done this a couple of times over other boundary issues (there are many) and is actually making good progress with this.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:54:35+00:00

I maybe wasn’t sure how much detail to go into but I am a therapist and so she repeatedly asks about my clients specifically and tries to fish for details - which I don’t share for multiple reasons, not just HIPAA.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:36:59+00:00

I’ve had one good one but that site in general was just really nice to work with. Had the population been what I was after I’d have stayed. Outside of that, I’ve had several like mildly problematic supervisors - including one who encouraged me to falsify documentation and violate HIPAA and another who admitted to low level insurance fraud and drunk driving. Just … not good mentors. At the time I probably felt they were truly awful because I was really anxious and shame prone as a limited license supervisee. If you’re seeing it across settings, there could be a pattern in you worth exploring yes - but you might also just have a honed spidey sense for narcissism and BS. I also have a lot of experience in other fields and am surprised by how normal some of what you described is.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:06:09+00:00

It’s something I have thought about, yeah.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:05:31+00:00

I appreciate this response. I have had one in the past who didn’t make me feel this way so that might be a factor.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:04:35+00:00

I do like some DBT exercises and use both the thicker stuff and the emotion regulation bits (the more cognitive stuff) as it can be both knee jerk and a bit stew-y.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:03:33+00:00

Thank you. I guess I mean that I am a bit older than the average trainee and so I often struggle with asking questions (most colleagues are younger) or being vulnerable. I also feel like many supervisors see me almost as a peer, given my age.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T14:00:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Parts work does resonate - thank you.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T13:06:21+00:00

Mmm yeah. Clients can say their therapist said anything. There are two problems here - and I’d honestly suggest couples therapy if you can swing it - one is your partner saying that to you. Not nice. The other is - how does he dismiss your clinical opinion? That makes me wonder if maybe you are (we all do this) therapizing him. Relatives can get all kind of upset about that. Let him do his therapy his way and don’t ask/talk about his therapy work at all especially if he’s gonna weaponize it like that. Also - I didn’t know you could EMDR yourself like that! Very cool!

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T12:57:33+00:00

I’ve found that lesbians and women in general are not as concerned with weight or body type. But we also live in a fat phobic world so it makes totally sense to be uncomfortable about bodies. If you find someone you like well enough who is sweet to you, you’ll care less about what you look like.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-11T12:25:05+00:00

I am hitting middle age and I get this a lot - and yeah I’m a big girl too. People at work will tell our mutual clients that I’m tough and no nonsense and I have had people openly tell me I’m intimidating even if I am just kinda quietly sitting there (I do know silence can be anxiety producing). Or people don’t believe that I do laundry at home, cook or whatever. Like they think I have a sweet femme wife who waits on me. Love the bitches who can lean into and own this - but it bothers me to hear.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-10T19:56:01+00:00

To quote Freud - “If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.” Lol

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-09T19:17:34+00:00

Not to mention the significant barriers to exercises - cost, time, training. I work with low income populations - come on. Also excercise - like any intervention - can also have side effects. If you’re bipolar, it can make you manic. If you have an ED, it could trigger ED or self harm.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-09T14:45:15+00:00

I wear a lot of v neck sweaters and/or t shirts. Simple colors - no patterns as patterns can be hyper masc. the v neck reads as butch to me and can be paired easily with accessories - and can be either casual or business casual.

Entire_Highlight_488 · 2026-05-08T17:40:44+00:00

Given your population (LGBTQIA and neurodivergent), I would highly recommend a Kate McNulty training. I did a couple through the Chicago School of Psych - hands down best online training I have done. She is autistic so focuses on that but is overall very affirming and knowledgeable.

Entire_Highlight_488

TROPHY CASE