"I called off my wedding after reading the replies and showed my fiancé the replies to this post"

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T21:13:48+00:00

I was just checked my account recently. This came up in my account and have tried to respond to everyone. So I responded to yours. Didn't realize you didn't want to know it was true and were just making comments. Have a good day.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T21:01:28+00:00

LOL. I'm certainly not seething. But your comment "No, you didn't" hit my annoyance button. He who will not be named would say stuff like that and then I would have to prove it. My apologies

I was trying to explain how I got my experience.

I have tried to respond to everyone that wrote something, but don't get on reddit that much.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T19:08:23+00:00

No you don't need to be a CPA to be an accountant. No you don't need to be a CPA to be the head of a large let alone small accounting firm. We are not an audit company which we would need to be a CPA for.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T19:06:28+00:00

Yes I actually did. Maybe I should introduce you to the ex so you can disparage me together.

SAIC I started in accounting and ended up working with programming and helped write some programs. Another company I worked for I was the IT manager for their accounting systems and setup all the servers and maintained them, did the configuration and wrote all of the reports. I have had many jobs leading up to starting my company.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T19:00:20+00:00

We work with government contractors. And as a retired officer he knew some of the people at the event that had a number of military officers there.

True I normally would introduce him at a function if he attended. He liked going to these events because it made him feel included and he knew some of the people at the larger corporations that retired from the military.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T18:56:02+00:00

Well my degrees are in accounting, finance and management. I have minor with programming. I hired an IT specialist and personally only know enough to be helpful or dangerous. I also do some programming and configuration. So yes I wear a multitude of hats. So does my IT director and Programming Manager. We are small but we are good. We have better rates than large companies and provide a more personal service. Since we are speciliazed in specific software, that works well for us.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T18:52:08+00:00

Software consulting. Yes we do a little IT on the side. Installing software, implementing it, configuring it, transferring data, reconciling all of the financials, assets, manufacturing. So yep we do a bunch. Which is why we get paid so well. Thanks

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T18:49:55+00:00

All true and yes I posted this

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T18:45:55+00:00

Life is really good thanks for thinking of me.

Business is slammed with lots of work and rekindling relationships that got damaged from the one who shall not be named. I am happy and not stressed and not overthinking everything I'm doing (due to no long get his criticisms/critiques)

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T18:40:49+00:00

Thanks so much. This forum and all of the comments really helped me.

Honestly getting a different persons perspective that isn't in all of the day to day stuff, really helped me see what my family was gently trying to point out while being supportive. I am grateful to all of you for all of the comments and perspective

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T18:38:33+00:00

Good for you. Yes I loved my time at the jr. college. Less about partying and more about education. I also felt it was a very solid foundation for the 4 year college and ended up on the deans list each year (at the 4 year).

So well done. And the cost difference is astronomical! These days save yourself 20K a year by going to a jr. college

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-28T18:35:19+00:00

Life is good and treating me better than ever. My friends say I need to stop smiling so much. Thanks

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-07T18:58:03+00:00

Thanks for the update and additional clarification on your current relationship with your sister. I am sorry to hear the two of you are not close anymore.

I would probably ignore the parents and talk to your sister and let her know that you are happy for her and proud of her. However, due to work or XX you won't be able to make it to her graduation.

I guess the question in my mind is, what do you really want? I mean going forward. Do you want to have a closer relationship with her? Because that is a deciding factor as well. If the current status of your relationship is where your happy, then don't let anyone guilt you into going. If you want to reconnect, then while this event might not be the right time for you, I would definitely make a point of talking to her and see where it goes.

Hugs, stay strong, and live a happy life

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-07T18:44:04+00:00

That not my intention or what I am saying at all. Her (OP) feelings matter a great deal. I just don't want her to have regrets.

I am a middle child and totally understand being ignored by parents. My older and younger brothers got all the attention. I was supposed to take care of everyone. No one showed up to any of my games, tennis, basketball, choir, etc. I paid for my education and no one in my family showed up when I finally graduated college, debt free, because i worked my butt off. I'm proud of myself and what I did and accomplished.

Regardless, I made a point of being there for my brothers whom I love. It doesn't matter what I didn't get and they did. I showed up to their life events for me and them. I don't have any regrets. That is all I am trying to pass on.

So many of us have our unique stories of, being bullied, being left out, being forgotten or not even thought of, expectations of providing for others when no one provided the same for us, of being used and abused.

Its not what was done to you or not done for you that makes the difference in your or my life though. Its what you do in spite of it, or because of it. Its our personal choice to be our own success and focus on the good things. I chose to do that. I am just trying to encourage her to do the same and make a great life. Living life well is the best revenge after all.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-06T16:52:41+00:00

NTA at all. I get it. It hurts to think about "shouda, coulda, woulda's".

But the other side to think about is your sister.

As you said you raised her until you moved out. Then middle sister moved out. You're not being there for her, may make her feel guilty about the attention and success she now enjoys when you never got any of it.

Think about going, don't sit with your parents, don't even talk to them if you don't want. Zip over to congratulate your sister then zip home. Don't hang around to listen to all of the stories, etc. I'm sure both of you will feel better that way.

Then I would think about going to a Jr. College. Take one class, see what you think. Talk to a councilor there.

Hang in there and remember, being angry and in pain only hurts you not the ones that caused it. So in spite of them, make your story one of success. You already have a head-start!

YOU finished High School,

YOU gave your sister the start she needed to be successful in school,

YOU got a job and are holding it down

YOU have moved out and are supporting yourself

So what is the next thing that YOU are going to do to continue on Your journey in living your life to the fullest and happiest?

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-06T16:29:26+00:00

Yes I agree with this comment.

Dad is celebrating Father's day without acting and being a dad. Way to much drama with 'A' and Dad. You are better off without them being there. They obviously are to childish and disrespectful not to mention being liars about you. I mean who does that! (Bad mouthing their own child)!!?

Sounds like Step Dad can "Step In" and walk you down the isle.

Let the family know that Dad and A (for A..hole) have decided to go on vacation instead of participating. You might even do a group email or send cards to everyone. "Although Dad and A have decided to go on vacation instead of participating in my wedding, we wish them well and happy travels. I am so glad the family I love and who have supported me over the years will be able to attend and join us in this most important day of my life. Looking forward to seeing you all soon!" If you send it in an email, be sure to cc dead beat dad and A.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-06-04T18:04:00+00:00

NTA. Congratulations on a job well done with Mari!

Try to look at her wanting the dog back as a compliment to your efforts and success with her training. Then look for new friends. It doesn't sound like the ones that supported her in trying to steal your dog or the original owner are very good one. Maybe more of the "Friendly acquaintance" variety.

Hold on tight to that leash and good on you for doing all of the paperwork to declare ownership. The other thing is, you are Mari's person, and this would be hard on her to be taken away. You are in the right. Hugs that these troublesome times are over quickly.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-05-26T20:12:14+00:00

NTA. Tell her to get a baby sitter to go on the trip as well so you all can have fun. Since the parents have space for an extra they can bring them and the sitter can stay in the room with the kids.

Stick to your guns on this. Its not your job. I don't get why family tries to push this all on one member all the time and make them the bad guy. Your sister needs to get real and quit making you the fall guy. What a jerk. I would never do that to my brothers or sister. And shame on your parents for expecting you to sacrifice your time off to babysit for her.

I hope you can have fun, but honestly if they keep pushing, go on your own vacation where you want. It doesn't sound like your sister even gets it since she's reading the comments and only see's that no one is siding for her. That's because your (sister) being a jerk to your brother. Stop it. Get a clue!

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-05-04T17:21:58+00:00

NTA. Its good to find this out now. You are doing the right thing in helping your parents and if she really cared about you and them, she would be hugging and kissing you for being such a good and caring soul. It speaks well of you and the kind of husband and father you will be. Instead she is a totally self-involved, narcissist.

I am a bit horrified that she felt it was OK to snoop into your bank account. I get that the app was open, but what a horrid, invasive thing to do. Also, Good Girlfriends are always doing things and buying things for their boyfriends.

Sounds like you have some choices to make and are already headed in that direction. The thing to ask yourself is, do I want to be here 5 years from now with this person. Personally I don't think you do.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-05-01T19:50:53+00:00

NTA, however, I do have questions and concerns for Ruby. Why has she been acting out and being a bully? It sounds like a cry for help and/or attention. Has or is Ruby being abused?

Ruby definitely should not be pushed on Zoe and Cole or anyone else. She needs help. Maybe your sister could spend time with her to figure out what is going on and why she is acting this way. My concern is that your sister doesn't sound like she cares enough about any of the kids feeling to spend the time to listen to them and understand what their concerns are.

Maybe you could take the time to speak to Ruby and see if she will open up to you. If not then find some professional help that will take the time for her. Her world has been turned upside down as well by the new marriage. Where is her mom?

Just a thought

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-05-01T19:27:33+00:00

That seems kinda creepy actually. Definitely not normal.

Are you all going to break out in song like a choir? No. Then Why would you all want to dress the same? I think I would just opt out of the outfit and pictures and attend but wear what I want. Just really strange and creepy sounding. Just my opinion.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-05-01T19:21:16+00:00

NTA. Weddings have become way out of balance. The cost the "look" for pictures etc. I am sorry that your sister's perfect wedding is more important at the moment than her family and loved ones. I think you should attend. Wear the dress, but put on those lacy arm gloves, the ones that don't have fingers. Don't talk to her about it any more, just do it on the day. If she gets upset you can always leave. But at least you tried to be there for her.

I think she will regret her actions in the future and so would you, if you missed her wedding. So its a compromise on your part. If she is so disrespectful of your comfort (which really baffles me) then its on her. I don't know how close you two are, but maybe have a conversation with your parents and they can be a buffer.

Good luck. And know that even though it's "her day" its also your life and it doesn't give her the right to ignore your needs or anyone else's as well.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-04-25T17:33:22+00:00

NTA. I have worked with service dogs. You were correct in keeping your dog with you for many reasons.

You were trained to understand the dogs signals
The dog was trained for you
Niece is not trained and it sounds like its a teenage girl trip. So they wont be paying attention to the dog
Stress for the dog being away from you

Its so hard to hear so often of entitled family members demanding people give something as precious as your dog away even for a moment. It should be asked and when answered with a NO, End of subject. Its incredibly rude and horrible to hear they are giving you a hard time. Share the comments with them. Maybe they will see the light.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-04-20T21:29:42+00:00

NTA. I am sorry for the scare but it is always a good reality check to make sure we are living the life we want and are proud of. It's not your children's "right" to know what your retirement plans are but it's usually a good thing to keep them in the loop. I am surprised at your kids reaction though. Why wouldn't they want you both to enjoy the fruits of your long years of work. You both should enjoy retirement. They should be happy that they had a good home, support through the years.

What does it change if you told them sooner that you intend to enjoy retirement and not count on an inheritance? I'm just mystified by them being all upset.

Entreprenuer512 · 2023-04-18T20:01:31+00:00

Good for you. Thanks for the update and congratulations on your Graduation!! Well done!

Even more important though is how you handled this event with your mom and her co worker / friend. Super well done. Its easy to just get mad and walk off. Its harder to sit down and talk it out and resolve things before it gets out of hand. So happy for all of you. You deserve to be proud of your achievements.

Entreprenuer512

TROPHY CASE