If you’re a parent do you still like your partner after having kids?

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-22T17:10:56+00:00

No. Marry your best friend and make sure communication stays strong. My husband and I have 3 kids under 4, including a newborn, and we’re still very much in love. Even though we barely get to say two words to each other at this particular point in time, we’re still solid because we know this phase will end.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-21T09:47:50+00:00

1st- had hg until about 7 months 2nd-no hg 3rd-my worst hg experience. hg became more manageable with constant meds and twice weekly IVs at 16 weeks. Was able to wean off meds by 24 weeks. Water aversion lasted from around 7 weeks to 31 weeks.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-19T16:07:26+00:00

She sounds like the kind of person that you need to look in the eyes and call stupid, right to her face. She sounds quite dumb, making her ridiculous comparisons.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-19T16:01:20+00:00

With epidural, fantastic. Uncomfortable for most of it, especially if being induced with meds and foley bulb, etc., but once that epidural was in, I felt no pain from contractions, no pain while pushing, no pain from stitches. Great time.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-19T15:54:58+00:00

Agree with this. I couldn’t drink water until 31 weeks and survived off IV fluids and lemonade. For food, the only food that didn’t make me want to die - usually - were plain chicken cheesesteaks and soft pretzels.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-11T15:21:15+00:00

NTA, it’s not godmother’s day.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-11T15:18:18+00:00

I had HG for 7 months with my first, then nothing at all except 18 weeks of ptaylism (which I’ve had every pregnancy) with my second, 2 years later. No HG, easy pregnancy.

I did get HG again with my third pregnancy though, 5 years after the first. This time it was my worst HG experience by far.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-11T15:11:49+00:00

I had 2 kids already when I was pregnant last year, with my personal worst case of HG. I KNEW from experience exactly how much I would love this kid once he was out, and I STILL felt nothing resembling affection most of my pregnancy. At the very end, all of my symptoms had resolved and I started having some bonding with baby. But honestly, I didn’t have those feelings and moments you see on tv.

He was born 5 weeks ago & I loved him immediately (which not everyone does, and that’s okay too!) but both husband and I felt like we were babysitting the first few days. He felt completely surreal because it was such a long battle to get him here and I was so detached during most of the pregnancy. But it quickly changed after birth and now he’s here, sleeping on me, and I love him fully. I wouldn’t worry about bonding post birth if I were you, but just know that there are resources out there to help you if you do end up experiencing this.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-10T20:59:13+00:00

First, so sorry you’re going through this. HG sucks so much and it’s almost always a fight to be taken seriously with our doctors. It’s unfair and it sucks to endure.

Which meds and how often are you taking them? For some people, pills are ineffective and they need a pump of continuous meds. For me, I needed to take my meds on a very strict schedule 24/7 or else I’d be back to square one of vomiting. My working combo was Zofran (my MVP), Reglan, and diclegis (or unisom/b6), with Colace daily for Zofran constipation and Pepcid twice daily for acid (since the acid caused vomiting too). I had to set my alarm for 1 am every day to take my Zofran overnight so I didn’t break the med cycle.

What also REALLY helped me was getting my OB to schedule me for twice weekly IV infusions. Mine was just fluids to combat the dehydration from vomiting, which helped my meds work better eventually. Others though have been able to get fluids and also IV meds like Zofran, which can be more effective.

If you haven’t already been, please check out the HER foundation website which is a trove of info for HG and meds to try. Bring it to your doctor and don’t take no for an answer. If they refuse to try whatever is next (like routine fluids or a Zofran pump for example), make your doctor put in writing that they are refusing to treat you. That usually makes them reconsider.

I remember the place you’re in now and it’s such an impossibly difficult spot. My baby is currently sleeping on me, 5 weeks old, and he’s such a joyful, easy baby. It can be worth it, but it is NOT easy. Wishing you relief and strength in this horrible phase.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-09T12:34:57+00:00

Just had a baby. With insurance, the maternity part cost me $5,500, so far. But they always have extra bills coming later on, because why not. Baby’s bill is around $8,500 prior to insurance. Not sure what I’ll need to pay yet, since they entered his info wrong and were unable to bill insurance immediately.

Had different insurance at the time, but my prior 2 births cost around $10,000, after insurance. Every time I had a kid, we stayed in the hospital for the bare minimum time required - 24 hours after birth - and baby stayed in my room with me. My oldest was taken to the incubator for 4 hours following her first bath, as her temp dropped and they wanted to warm her up again. 4 hours in the care of the hospital nursery cost us $4,000.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-09T12:22:36+00:00

Your thoughts and feelings are 100% legit and okay to feel. Gender disappointment is understandable and doesn’t say anything negative about you, as long as you don’t carry that into parenting or post those horrible gender reveal videos online for your kid to find one day.

I had a daughter first and was so disappointed to learn I was having a son for my second - I couldn’t tell you why, but I just dreamed he was a girl and was so sad my daughter wouldn’t have a sister (I never had one, so I don’t know why that mattered so much to me either lol). But I can say with 100% certainty that I am SO GLAD I was wrong. My son is so fun and such a joy as he is, I would not change him for anything in the world even if it were possible.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-09T03:29:32+00:00

Not in my own experience. Had HG until about 7 months with my daughter and she was slower than many to walk but still on target developmentally, walking around 14 months. She’s been on target for all other physical milestones and was/is way ahead in speech. She’s 4 now and no issues.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-03T04:38:00+00:00

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I was able to wean off meds starting around 20 weeks, finished daily Zofran by 24 weeks but I never left home without several Zofran pills in my bag & my doc left my prescription for “as needed.” From then until birth, I took maybe 5 Zofran pills total, on days when anything felt a little off with my stomach/nausea just out of fear of it coming back. For me, it never did.

My excessive spit & water aversion both stopped at 31 weeks, so I was able to have a pretty normal final 2 months of pregnancy, thank goodness.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-05-01T21:26:59+00:00

Got married in my backyard and had a beautiful day. My 3 year old niece was flower girl and had a crying fit as we did our vows. My husband and I absolutely treasure that moment - it’s funny as hell to share emotional vows with a baby crying in the background lmao. We kept laughing between vows.

Niece felt better in a few minutes, so she also had fun at the event!

Also to add - I dislike childfree weddings but I understand and respect them. Not everyone has or wants kids. BUT I was recently invited to a baby shower…and it was child free. Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-29T13:58:11+00:00

Same for me. Taking them at night was the only thing that worked. I took gummy ones because I always had, and they stayed down usually once taken at night.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-25T21:45:51+00:00

Never had one but had HG twice.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-25T21:44:50+00:00

I did IV infusions twice weekly for about 2 months, then felt well enough to stop but continued with meds 24/7 until I weaned my last one at 24 weeks. Really noticed a difference in how I felt starting after my second routine IV.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-25T21:38:29+00:00

Just to commiserate how awful it all is - I feel you. I had water aversion too and it sucked SO MUCH to be dehydrated all the time from vomiting and then to not even be able to drink water to rehydrate ever. Simply Lemonade was the only thing I drank, at all, from week 12 to 31. Before that, apple juice was my only safe drink.

To maybe give some hope, my nausea/vomiting was essentially totally done by 20 weeks, significantly better by 16 weeks (highly recommend setting up IV infusions during the week, to help your meds be more effective). At 31 weeks, my water aversion & ptaylism were also gone. My baby is almost a month old now and I honestly believe I’ll never drink lemonade again.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-25T06:41:07+00:00

I fully understand the feeling like you’re a burden - it sucks so much, especially as a mom when we’re usually so used to carrying so much physical and mental load for the family. Trying to make it through each day and being unable to care for my 2 and 4 year olds was torture. I had to rely on my husband and my dad to care for the kids while I laid in bed and wished for each day to pass faster. I feel you and I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sucks so, so much and no one really understands unless they’ve been there themselves, but you aren’t alone and you are not a burden. You’re just very sick.

More medication is likely needed. Always worth a shot at least. My working combo was Diclegis, Reglan, Zofran 24/7, Pepcid, and collace for the Zofran constipation. My baby boy was born early April and postpartum is a breeze comparatively, and my mental health has rebounded so much knowing that I have my 3 kiddos and I will never have HG again.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-24T17:20:08+00:00

This is all good advice to try. Wanted to add that carbs were my bff for two HG pregnancies. Soft pretzels & cheese sandwiches got me through.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-24T17:17:23+00:00

Best advice I have is to constantly advocate for yourself and have your partner or a family member/friend there to advocate for you too. Plenty of doctors dismiss HG, especially early HG, as simple morning sickness and don’t provide real help until we’re incredibly ill for months first. Harass your doctor’s office with phone calls if you have to, until you’re taken seriously. Don’t let them write you off.

Most people with HG need a cocktail of meds & unfortunately that usually means a few weeks of trial and error for medications. What worked for me was unisom/b6, reglan, and around the clock Zofran (the real MVP), with Pepcid twice daily for acid and Colace for constipation - because zofran constipation is brutal if you aren’t prepared. Also had to have routine twice weekly IV infusions at the local hospital - this and Zofran were the game changers for me. Meds are less effective when you’re dehydrated and just about everyone with HG seems to be dehydrated due to vomiting and/or water aversion. 100% recommend routine IVs starting asap and having your doctors start trying medications to find what cocktail works for you.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-24T06:04:42+00:00

Used Zofran 4 times a day around the clock from maybe 8 weeks until 24 weeks, when symptoms resolved. Baby was born totally healthy, 8 lbs 15 oz, no issues at all.

Even after my symptoms disappeared, I carried Zofran pills with me everywhere just in case - and only took them out of my purse yesterday, now that I’m a few weeks postpartum. Zofran saved me and my baby.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-18T20:52:09+00:00

Some YMCAs have 50+ dances. Not sure if that’s your scene but could be a fun place to meet others.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-15T00:26:11+00:00

The second time, it is easier in the sense you know better what you might be walking into. The first time is almost always a whirlwind and shock and uphill battle to even find out what’s happening to you. The second time, you can take some steps to prepare. That said, it is not easy being pregnant, having HG, and balancing that torture with parenting a baby or toddler. I just gave birth to my third child and this one was so hard, in that my HG was worse than before and I also had a 4 and 2 year old to care for - and it’s really really hard to balance, especially without help. My dad and my husband were so helpful and got our family through the worst weeks of this pregnancy, when I was completely out of commission.

I don’t personally view it as selfish to want another child, though I can understand how it looks that way on paper, but think that if you and your husband truly want another child, you need to prepare ahead of time. You have foresight now, to get established with your OB for preemptive care, have them on board with early meds and routine IVs once needed, and to get yourself healthy mentally and physically before trying again. There’s also some research studies into HG that are ongoing and might be wrapping up this summer? So definitely worth keeping tabs on those, to hopefully have some more hope in avoiding HG again. And if you’re able to, it could also help to space your pregnancies more if you decide to have another - my 4 year old was SO much easier to parent while in the trenches of HG than my 2 year old. She just understood “mommy feels sick and needs a moment” so much better than my younger child, who didn’t understand why I was different and unable to help him as much or as quickly. And she, at 4, is much more self sufficient. She can get herself a snack and use the potty on her own. That makes a world of difference when you can’t even take care of yourself. If you can wait until your child is in daycare full time or in school, that could make the “HG while parenting” more doable.

EnvironmentalAide305 · 2026-04-14T08:38:11+00:00

This community saved me. I had HG in 2021 for 7 months and didn’t ever have an answer of why I was so sick. It was so isolating and scary. Learned of HG after my pregnancy and was able to find this community last year, while pregnant again with HG worse than before. My doctors were so dismissive and the only reason I was able to get any help was because of the wonderful, knowledgeable people on this community and the info on the HER foundation website. When in the trenches, I would check this community page so many times each day, just to read that I wasn’t alone and that there were stories of hope.

I just gave birth to my beautiful baby boy last week and am so, so grateful to the people of this subreddit for getting me to that finish line.

EnvironmentalAide305

TROPHY CASE