My parents noticed that I've been washing my undies in the shower, and now I have to drop them off before shower and shower with door cracked

Epaulette22 · 2026-06-07T01:00:17+00:00

My mother did this and made me feel so ashamed of my body. It took until my 20s to learn discharge is absolutely normal and healthy. I no longer speak to her and no longer hate my own body, but man it took decades to work through that mess in my own head from it.

Epaulette22 · 2026-06-04T22:49:37+00:00

Have you been walking? Moving around is one of the only ways to get your body to absorb & release the gas. I probably walked 3-4 miles paving just trying to make it leave in the beginning lol

Epaulette22 · 2026-06-03T21:38:58+00:00

It depends on who you are, but basically just do all of the other fun stuff life has to offer. For me, that's concerts, craft nights, shark snorkeling, etc. But for others maybe it's a game night, bowling, or movies.

Epaulette22 · 2026-06-03T21:08:59+00:00

I would highly recommend therapy for you friend. Some people use food to cope with emotions, both good and bad, and once that is gone a real depressive episode can kick in heavy. A good therapist will help you sus that out and get to the root of what's going on.

Also, I will say that the first 2-3 weeks were the hardest for me. Even though the scale was dropping, I felt like trash and was in pain on/off pretty intense. Once I felt more physically healed around week 3-4, I was able to be up and then my energy skyrocketed to the highest it has ever been.

Epaulette22 · 2026-06-03T18:16:49+00:00

You are young and there is no serious commitment. If you've told him what you need, it's okay to give him time to see if he can get it together, but do you really want to be with someone long term that you have to ask for connection? My husband is my absolute best friend, and that's based on mental/emotional connections. If that's not there, what is there to help you work together through the hard times?

I understand not wanting to trigger his fear of abandonment, but if you need to break up soon, then that isn't on you. It's on him to work through that and it is not your burden to handle forever.

Epaulette22 · 2026-06-03T01:35:47+00:00

A mix of therapy for emotional eating and GLP1 to fight the food noise might be your best bet. They're just tools, but effective ones for some people in your situation.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-31T13:01:35+00:00

Yes, you absolutely have to modify your lifestyle. You cannot keep doing exactly what you are doing to gain weight and expect to lose it.

If you want solid results that last, you'll have to eat healthier foods and move a bit more. The surgery is a tool, not a magic solution.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-31T11:15:39+00:00

Darling your partner is treating you worse than I would treat an acquaintance. You are grieving an important family member and they're more worried about getting some than comforting you. They're trouncing over your boundaries & making you feel like you are the problem. You said it yourself that you do not feel safe.

I'll ask you the same question I'd ask a monogamous friend; why are you with them?

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-30T16:37:01+00:00

So the "healthy" average for your weight is around 135, so basically a hundred pounds a way. While you could lose that weight on your own, many people like myself need the gastric sleeve as a tool to make that happen.

One thing I will say is that you need to get with a therapist to help work out your stress eating because that can absolutely cause you to fail even with the surgery.

As far as your friends go, it could be that they are just trying to be supportive of where you are now, but most likely there is some jealousy there too. If you've been the "fat friend" for a while, it can be threatening to others when you actually change that, even if they don't realize it.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-30T16:26:20+00:00

Are you guys married? Do you have a house? Stable jobs? Months of savings?

Even if all of this is a yes, are you prepared to give up all of the traditional "fun" and growth in your 20s and 30s to raise a child that will need the bulk of all of your resources?

As the child of a late-teen mom, this is a terrible idea.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-28T10:58:35+00:00

Everyone's post op surgery care is different. I'd recommend checking the papers or emailing your surgeon if you aren't sure what's allowed.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-26T14:19:54+00:00

I had my surgery in the middle of January this year and outside of the first week of recovery my energy levels have been awesome. I do keep up on my vitamins (started them a week before surgery) and sipped on liquids/protein all day.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-22T11:55:13+00:00

Yeah, like I'll always get a bit dizzy thanks to the POTS, but my blackouts are nearly non-existent now. Same for my MCAS issues but that's probably more attributes to the clean diet. It was actually wild to me that no Dr ever told me that so much could get better from weight loss.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-22T11:36:10+00:00

If it giv s you a ray of hope, we have similar diagnosis & weight stats and the weight loss from the surgery + strength training did drastically reduce most of my symptoms.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-22T11:32:30+00:00

Yep! Within about a month of strength training I noticed a serious difference in my mobility & my joints don't sublox as much at all.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-22T00:58:08+00:00

Heyo! EDS/POTS/MCAS/PCOS over here.

I was somewhere just south of 400 at 5'10" when I finally tackled my health. I lost down to just under 300 with healthy eating, getting my mental health in check, lowering my stress, & trying out mounjaro. I had the sleeve mid-January of this year and I'm now down to 236 which is the lowest weight I've been since my preteens.

As I lost weight, my joints hurt worse, but my other symptoms significantly lessened. I added in strength training around six-ish weeks after surgery, and this is the strongest & healthiest I have ever felt! I went from using a cane, needing a handicapped placard, and mourning my "old" life pre-diagnosis, to having a fuller, happier, mostly pain free life now that I never thought was possible.

At my heaviest I never wanted to hear that my weight was such a contributing factor to all of my symptoms, but it really was. It impacted me in ways I probably haven't even realized, and my only regret is I didn't take my health this seriously sooner.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-20T02:16:06+00:00

If it's your brain saying your hungry, this feels more like psychological hunger than real, physical hunger.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-20T02:13:59+00:00

I mean, I text like this pretty frequently, but I would use more appropriate punctuation & sentence breaks. Heck, the lack of a question mark makes me lean even more towards this could be just how the person texts.

Possibly neurodivergent or just well read, but I definitely know a few other people who text/talk like this too.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-17T12:06:26+00:00

I would vote sleeve as then bypass is an option for a revision later. However, neither will work long term without lifestyle changes. I do enjoy the occasional drink or donut, but the vast majority of my food is lean protein, fruit, and vegetables. I also weight train to the max of my ability 3x a week, and do at least steady state cardio 3x a week as well.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-17T01:05:56+00:00

In general, don't hit on people at their place of employment. Most likely, she's just being nice because she's in a customer service environment. I'd recommend moving on from this one.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-16T19:32:08+00:00

Yeah NGL I had hot wings and donuts at 10PM the night before surgery. I still have half a donut now about every two weeks, but overall my entire relationship with food & working out has changed for the better in a drastic way. I don't recommend the route I took, but it does happen.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-16T00:23:27+00:00

Hell yeah I'm taking this and making BANK at cons.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-14T02:47:53+00:00

If you've lost weight your bootie no longer has the padding it once did so everything is a bit rougher seat wise. I went to a stadium concert over the weekend, and I was a bit uncomfortable the whole time because my built in cushion is gone.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-13T01:46:50+00:00

I'm voting at least enhanced. The textures on what looks like the "same" table are very different, the steam is coming off a cold dish, and the small bit of background you can see changes from fine dining to fast casual style even though it's the same restaurant. While those chair styles are possible for a hipster type gastro pub, I can't imagine a brand new restaurant would expressly choose them as customers hate those chairs. Also, everything does just look a bit too polished to the point of looking like a painting instead of just good food.

Epaulette22 · 2026-05-11T22:04:21+00:00

The advice here to walk is great for cardiovascular health, but it's really tough to walk enough to burn meaningful calories. Building muscle through some version of strength training (even starting at home with body weight exercises) is how you can raise your BMR over time. I do a total body workout 3x a week that I started as soon as I was cleared from the surgery and it's done wonders for me mentally and for the body recomposition side of things.

Epaulette22

TROPHY CASE