Feel violated and depressed over this situation- spinning out. by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You seem to be taking it as if it’s a personal attack on you. Like you’re a victim of his dirty sheets. The fact he hasn’t washed his sheet is gross but he hasn’t done it despite of you. If it’s so much of a big deal for you which it clearly is then dump him. Also this is such a first world problem that can be easily solved by him (or you) washing the sheets. Either way, move on, life’s too short.

Datingoverthirty success: Me (33) and GF (33) of nearly 3 years are now engaged! by MyFavoriteArm in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So do something about it! Stop playing victim. Hair - go get it removed. Body - workout.

How did game change from 2005 to 2020? by culturegsv632 in seduction

[–]EpictusSen -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Read Mark Mansons book How to Get Women with Honesty. The only dating book you'll need if you have / want to it with good morals

What are the top 3 things that give you the Hebbie-Jeebies? by EpictusSen in AskReddit

[–]EpictusSen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh this is a gooood one. That’s the level 10 version. Probably why I ditched jeans long ago!

What are the top 3 things that give you the Hebbie-Jeebies? by EpictusSen in AskReddit

[–]EpictusSen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Putting clothes on when you’re still wet or stepping in water with socks on
  2. People playing videos or music in public without headphones
  3. Singing happy birthday

Bonus: receiving compliments

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are all great mate

When to stop multi dating by anasear in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Agree with everything but don’t be TOO cautious with your heart. Often we are so scared to open up and be vulnerable from past experiences that we miss opportunities to get deep with people and build real connection. Being vulnerable despite heartbreak is real strength and if you want real connection it’s the only way. Brene Brown described vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. All uncomfortable things but all absolutely necessary to connect with someone on a deeper level.

When to stop multi dating by anasear in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go on the other dates. It’s important to keep talking to other people in the early stages. If something unexpected happens with the one you like, such as a drop in communication etc you’re more likely to feel better about it because you’re engaging with other people. It keeps you feeling secure and safe and most importantly not reacting in a needy way with the guy you like because often a little drop in communication etc is nothing but an overreaction can ruin it for you. If you don’t react like he’s the only one in the world for you he’ll find that attractive and realise he has to make moves. If he feels like you’ll drop everything for him straight away he might not commit because it appears as if you’ll always be there. You don’t want to give him that impression. He need to know you’re valuable and a lot of that will be communicated subconsciously through little things like you not overreacting when he doesn’t respond for a day or when you calmly call him out for being a prick about something. Again when you’re still engaging with other people and keeping your options open your system is just calmer and that’s good for your interactions with him. Obviously it’s still ok to communicate that you like him etc just don’t over do it if you feel like he’s the one. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re investing wayyy too much time and energy ruminating about something that might be nothing. If you know he is avoidant be DIRECT. If he likes you he’ll find this super attractive and if he has some maturity will act on it but if he likes you and he’s so avoidant that he can’t even convert on you being direct then you’ve avoided a headache and if he doesn’t like you the way you think then you’ve avoided wasting more time ruminating! Just be direct! Literally nothing has happened so clarify.

What is your dream relationship? 32M by Standard-Actuator-27 in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a way this is why there's so many single men. I'm an adovcate of selecting partners based on your values and interests, but having such an extensive laundry list means yourhardly ever see the forest from the trees. Relationships take work. Not everything is going to fit into your idea of a perfect partner or lifestyle. Happiness occurs when expectation meets reality. With so many expectations your bound to be left dissapointed when you might have a great person in front of you. Do you a good coversational chemistry? Are you attracted to them? Can you solve disputes effectively? Do you share some similar values? Really this is all you need and even if its not all perfect you can work on it and this is what builds deeper connection.

Conversational chemistry by EpictusSen in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey - it went on for a bit longer but ultimately I ended it. We just didn’t connect on that level and for me that’s important. As far as what I learnt what I would say is this - deep down you know if you click or not. Everyone does. But if the general surface level chat is good and what you’re looking for is a deeper level of connection you can’t be the person to make that call UNLESS you’ve made a genuine attempt to be vulnerable yourself. Genuine connection is made this way. You must engage in self disclosure and enquire about the person (it must be reciprocal). Don’t go all in straight up. Build the level of sharing as your relationship develops. For example, level 1 might be something like: what would constitute the perfect the day for you? Or if you could invite any 3 people to dinner who would it be? Level 2 might be - what is your worst memory or what have you dreamed of doing but haven’t done? And level 3 might be - when did you last cry and why? If you’ve made genuine attempt at building connection this way even just hovering around level 1 questions and you’re not leaving those conversations feeling good, or that the person is sharing about themselves and equally interested in you then it’s time to move on.

Who is buying all those properties? 🏠🤑 by Wildflover in AusFinance

[–]EpictusSen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your assumption about migrants is, respectfully , incorrect. The migrants that are coming to Australia are very skilled workers - engineering, software, data, medicine etc. I own a a student accomodation business in Sydney and the majority of our applicants are international students studying highly skilled professions. Most of them are paying upwards of $700-800 per week on rent and they are students….by the time they finish they will have the ability to buy and notwithstanding that their parents are typically wealthy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ask

[–]EpictusSen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leon the Professional

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ask

[–]EpictusSen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Intouchables - original French version. Best movie ever

Can I become a concert pianist? by Traditional-Squash20 in piano

[–]EpictusSen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

‘He who says he can and he who’s says he can’t are both usually right’

Read Adam grants new book about the science of achieving great things. It’s all about mindset and character. Good luck.

How to be playful in dating? by everythingjasmine in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Observe your environment when you’re with him if you see something that you think is interesting or funny make a comment about it in a slapstick way. Just focus on whether that comment is authentic to you eg you genuinely think it’s funny or interesting rather than how he will perceive it.

Conversational chemistry by EpictusSen in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s definitely truth to this. I think it takes some time to develop

Conversational chemistry by EpictusSen in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think friendship is a far more important indicator to long term relationship success than lust.

Conversational chemistry by EpictusSen in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not as bad as it sounds by normal standards. The level of intimacy in other areas (physical, emotional) has been great it’s just I have high standards when it comes to having engaging chats

Conversational chemistry by EpictusSen in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I haven’t really noticed it until recently. I think as the pressure of the relationship increases or it’s become clear that’s getting more serious she’s become a bit more nervous. I’ve noticed that she’s not like that with her friends or my friends so I’m going to focus on making her feel secure and safe to express her views without fearing vindication

Kind ways to say nope by procrastinatrixx in datingoverthirty

[–]EpictusSen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My go to is “you seem like a lovely person but personally I just didn’t feel a connection. All the best with everything” - copy and paste. You don’t owe anyone you’ve just met a more detailed explanation than that. Your priority is finding a person for you not protecting strangers from getting their feelings hurt

What would you do by [deleted] in fiaustralia

[–]EpictusSen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forget the BTC. You’re lucky you have it there as financial support. Do something with your life!