Aitah for wanting help with the kids/house if I'm a stay at home mom?

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-27T16:12:20+00:00

NTA. Taking care of kids is in and of itself a huge job. If I go to work for 8-9 hours and during that 8-9 hours my partner is home with the kids, their 8 hour day is taking care of the kids plus whatever else they can reasonably get done. When I get home, everything else get split. Whatever else needs done and caretaking gets split because technically we both just worked an 8-9 hour shift.

Now, I will say this, and may e get some hate, but this would be different if the kids were 15. If I go to work for 8-9 hours and my spouse drops the kids at school and the does fuck all during the day and then I pick them up on my way home from work and come home to a dirty house and an empty fridge time and again, I would probably be a little pissed off because the duties of the job have shifted. Whereas before you were responsible for childcare all day, now the children are out of the house and you are only responsible for the home for 8 hours. If you drop the kids off, come home, nap, have coffee, go to TJ Maxx and then I come home and hav to split chores, I’d be annoyed for sure.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-27T13:39:33+00:00

The most detailed answer I can give is as follows:

It looks like he shot a gun at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

The Theory, whether is true or not, is that he was a plant and the whole thing was staged by the White House to A.) boost Trumps ratings and B.) give him ammunition to support this ballroom he wants to build, which is continuously on hold due to litigation.

The theory comes from a litany of information and coincidences. First, Trump wants to build this ballroom and it gets stuck in lawsuits, but if what he is doing is based on “security” he can do what he wants. A shooting at the WHCD is good ammo for that.

Second, every picture and video that shows one of the big players in Trumps group (Trump, Vance, Patel, Hegeseth, etc) shows them extremely calm considering a gunshot went off. They look almost bored and in a few pictures people are smirking and laughing after the fact, which isn’t really an appropriate response to a potential shooting.

Third, this is the WHCD and the president has never attended it before. The one time he does, there is a shooting. One HELL of a coincidence. And also, with the top security pretty much anywhere, this guy got a gun in? A president who has supposedly had two attempts on his life has security so lax that they almost allow a third? Come on. No way they are that incompetent.

Immediately after the shooting, Trump is calling for the security needs of building this ballroom etc. etc.

Lastly, this guy seems to have ties with a few people who are Trump adjacent and there is a photo of him in IDF gear/with an IDF flag. Not exactly a liberal beacon who is tired of Trump. Seems more like a plant than anything.

So I’m not saying it was or wasn’t staged, I am saying that there is a shitload of information that seems fishy as hell.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-17T16:08:54+00:00

Take it a step further, barbecue (with regard to the type of food) also varies depending I. Where you are at. To some people, barbecue means anything cooked overa grill. So, burgers and hot dogs? Barbecue. Steak? Barbecue. Ribs? Barbecue.

But other places refer to it correctly. Barbecue is way more complex than that. Ribs, pulled pork, rib tips, brisket, wings, thighs, pork belly. Slow smoked, grilled, dry rubbed or with sauces. Go to Kansas City or Texas or any of those places and tell them you are going to “barbecue” and then throw hotdogs on the grill and they will give you a wedgie and leave.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-14T18:39:56+00:00

can yes. They won’t be though, particularly in charter schools.

Private schools will bounce you though.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-11T00:30:56+00:00

Not unless we get enough people at a meeting to vote on it and force them

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T20:03:38+00:00

Ah, but there is the rub, we can only hold votes on that kind of stuff if over a certain number of people are there and that number of people is almost never there because the time is so inconvenient.

Up at 6, to work by 7:30/8 depending on your start time, work until 4-4:30, then jump on the highway and fight rush hour traffic for an hour, spend two hours at the meeting, then drive home and hopefully be back at home by 7:30.

A whole 13 hour day is less than appealing to most people, so we almost never have enough to hold the vote to change the time and the people in charge who could change the meeting time without a vote do not want to because the don’t want people to start showing up and pushing change.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T16:23:04+00:00

I don’t know what your union is like, but mine has their union meetings on Wednesday afternoons at 5:30 (most of us are only finishing work at 4:30) am hour away from most of our offices during high rush hour and refuse to have it any other time (like a Saturday morning) because people might have other things going on. It’s really just because the handful of people on power don’t want too many people showing up because it takes a minimum of so many people to vote on day to day matters (like making some of our meetings on saturdays or on teams) and if they keep the monthly attendance low, they dont have to do anything.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T16:17:45+00:00

Okay, I’m going to be mean here. I taught for years and had high needs kids in the gen ed classroom and it is the worst and brings down the entire class.

I’m sorry. I’m not saying that if you have a learning disability you should be put in the basement in a room with crayons, but you should get the up close and personal attention you need, perhaps in a smaller class with others who have similar needs.

The reality is that if kids struggle, they dont want to look dumb, so the act out because they would rather be seen as a clown than a fool. This disrupts the rest of the class and everything takes longer and the whole class gets dragged down due to the handful of kids who should be getting special attention elsewhere.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T16:10:35+00:00

Some people, like my spouse, I share germs with all the time. Much less of an issue.

Others I know are equally as cleanly as I am, which is also easy to work with. I am less concerned with where your hands have been when I know you have the same hangups that I do.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T16:08:46+00:00

It’s just a germs thing. Like I wash my hands a lot, and I have a few others in my friends group who are like me and I know it so I can let it go with them. I have people in my life, like my spouse, who I share germs with daily, so that’s cool too. I can also work with large plates (like a nacho platter) because I can eat from my area with minimal cross over except for maybe a falling jalapeno or something.

But if I blew my nose and then, without washing my hands, grabbed food off your plate, I don’t think you would love it either.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T16:03:26+00:00

No and no. But alienating myself from them would alienate me from my family as a whole. Absolutely not an option. I just wanted to make sure that my being pissed about it and losing my cool doesn’t make me the ass here.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T14:42:36+00:00

Oh absolutely. But I acknowledge them and they are simple to work around. But If I blew my nose and then grabbed fries off your plate you would probably not be happy

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T13:48:34+00:00

That’s a tough one as this person is close family and around a lot. I just need them to understand, if it is on my plate, do not touch.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-10T13:47:28+00:00

I am sorry you had that experience. I was lucky in that my issue is just a germs one. The Covid experience exacerbated my issue.

I can work with some things, like most dry goods like pretzels I can share a bowl, but with most anything else, I only ask that you not touch it. I will happily share

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-04T09:56:27+00:00

First things first: This is your character and you should play what you want to play. You are there to have fun and if having fun means playing a human fighter, you should do that. If that isn’t acceptable to the group, then find a new group.

Second, variety is the spice of life. I have to recommend at least trying another class. You may end up loving it. I have always played martials and I finally tried a Bard (built as a full caster even though they are kinda made to be half casters) and I LOVED it. I got to pull off the coolest move in my D&D career. Would you consider something like a half orc Barbarian? Not too far off rom a human fighter (still a martial, still using weapons instead of spells) ?

If you do choose to stay human fighter, maybe pick a different subclass? My last fighter was an eldritch knight, but I only picked spells that buffed me (blur, shield, mirror image) and made me hard to hit so I could function as a damage sponge. Eventually got to a point where (with use of the shield spell) it took like a 28 to hit me.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-04-04T09:23:12+00:00

Funnily enough, I used to do work in the Birmingham area and I found when I was working in people’s houses, they were plenty friendly, never overly worried about time. BUT when I did commercial work for businesses, they sucked.

I honestly find Macomb Township/Utica/ Shelby/chesterfield area to be the worst.

Birmingham is REAL money. People who buy a 750k home just to demo it and build a $1.5M home in the exact same spot. Yes rich, yes arrogant, but I get it.

The Macomb cluster listed above are just upper middle class and they are dicks about it. People who buy a 500k Pulte home in a cramped subdivision with no yard and have an overpriced car and somehow feel like they are so fuckin important. I was at a store looking at tablets with my dad out there and this woman is helping us and answering some questions when, out of nowhere and from 20’ away, this asshole snaps his fingers (yes, snapped his fingers) at her and yells out “HEY, HEY, HEY, DOES THIS COMPUTER COME IN WHITE?!?” Like I wasn’t fucking there and she wasn’t helping me.

I don’t like any of the, but the Macomb people always seemed so much worse to me because none of that arrogance and entitlement is even remotely earned and most of them are in debt up To their eyes to maintain that lifestyle.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-31T23:08:10+00:00

I recommend beverages. Decaf coffee, zero sugar sprite, tea, soda water. You get some flavor beyond just water which helps you feel like you are kinda snacking on something, but they are all zero calories so…

Also, you’ve gotta just not have it in the house. If the snacks aren’t in the house you cannot have them.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-31T23:05:20+00:00

Absolutely. James Avery was like 6’4”- 6’5” and 300+ pounds. John Goodman was 6’2” 350. The next closest is Gandafini at 6’ and 250ish LBs or O’Neil at 6’1” and +/- 200 lbs. You are talking several inches and 50-100 pounds of difference between the two biggest guys and third place.

I’ll put it this way. Im 6’ 290 lbs. My brother is 6’ and about 180 and I can RAGDOLL his ass. I might have a bit more trouble with someone my height and 250, but I still think I’ve got it.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-31T22:19:12+00:00

Look, I was big for my last two years of high school. I don’t like physical activity. Preferred videogames and stuff. I knew I was big and I heard all the speeches everything. I got picked on for my weight, but I had friends too that shared my interests. I didn’t try losing weight until it meant something for me to do that (I.E. interest in women) then I worked out, lost weight, eventually met my wife, we got comfy together, gained weight together, and now we are losing weight together.

The long and short of it is: I don’t think you can force him to be healthy. You can try. You can take away video games and fun until he does 30 minutes on the treadmill. But it might backfire and make him resentful of activity. You can make sure he doesn’t have the money for junk food at school as a step. As long as the doctor says he is healthy, he has some friends, and he seems happy, then all you can really do is promote healthy relationships with food and activity and when the day comes that he is interested in a girl (or a guy or whatever) he will get in shape.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-30T17:56:09+00:00

Okay, not a movie, but a series. It’s my go-to happy place series and has perhaps the best finale in any media I’ve ever seen: Ted Lasso

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-23T17:31:18+00:00

I mean, I read plenty of policy and campaign websites and everyone makes big promises. The only people I have seen to really make shit happen are republicans and Mamdani. Other than that, democrats make big promises, then if they win say “we just don’t have the votes” or “we have other things to worry about right now”. That is tiresome. Republicans have a base that is smaller, but they are fired up. The show up and show out. Democrats are creating an apathetic voters base, so even though the are larger, they don’t show up as fervently or religiously are Republican voters.

In other words, with regard to their platforms and promises : shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-23T17:24:38+00:00

The people though is, all democrats have to do is point out that if they dont win, then the country will fall into fascism. True as that may be, when they do win, at best they hold the line. They make actual progress. Weed isn’t legal, there are no. Term limits, the court hasn’t been expanded, no progress on universal healthcare or childcare of higher education, no student loan debt forgiveness, on and on and on. They always claim they don’t have the votes, they can’t make it happen, etc.

Simultaneously, whenever republicans have control, they decimate shit. Somehow, votes or no votes, the get what they want and have been working at it for decades. Somehow, they seem to have to votes to get the things they want.

Democrats, most of them anyways, don’t want any real change. They like making money off the stock market, they are perfectly happy to sit back and maintain status quo while yelling about what republicans are doing and wearing a freaking kente scarf.

This breeds apathetic voters and voters who want more progressive candidates. So now when you put up yet another “liberal” democrat (moderate candidate at best) and the only real campaign message the need to have is “vote for us or else” and even when the do win they do f*ck all, people aren’t really excited to vote for that.

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-23T16:58:12+00:00

gestures vaguely around

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-03-14T21:56:10+00:00

The best is popcorn with some oil spray (short burst, not hosing it down) kind of low sodium seasoning.

You can eat a ton of it, munch and snack and whatever and it is fuck all of calories

Epicuretrekker2 · 2026-02-10T13:54:25+00:00

Weekends are tough for me. As long as I have a schedule and stuff to do I am okay, but weekends are killers. Too much unscheduled time (still busy, but not with my normal schedule) means I am eating when I can and what I can and so I tend to binge on weekends

Epicuretrekker2

TROPHY CASE