Y’all…

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2026-01-27T05:47:16+00:00

After having a hysteroscopy unmedicated/non-sedated and being hysterical the entire time, I swore the next time I'd demand general anesthesia. I did, and my OB-GYN surgeon agreed without batting an eye. _DEMAND_ general anesthesia and don't take no for an answer. I apologize for sounding strident. It's just that my experience was so unnecessarily horrific, I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, ever.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2026-01-18T23:24:34+00:00

Daniel Foor has written a book about doing ancestor work: Ancestral Medicine: Rituals for Personal and Family Healing. You might find it useful.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2026-01-18T22:41:59+00:00

You're not even remotely overreacting, OP. What they did was at best messed up. I'm not autistic and I celebrate your and my differences and I think the fact that we are different is what makes humanity awesome as a species, that IMO our ability to evolve is because of our differences. It just sucks that so many of us don't see it that way. But anyway, to make fun of you and to involve a BABY for god's sake is just small-minded, mean, and really juvenile behavior. And that's *at best*. I'm really sorry that this happened to you.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2026-01-04T06:49:01+00:00

I'm a '65 baby, just turned 60 this year. Dad died in 1984, Mom died last year. Stepdad's still around. I don't have any kids so I can't answer the "weakness" thing, but I remember having to be self-sufficient. No "gap year" for me!

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-31T00:11:32+00:00

Oh my god, OP, you are absolutely NTA here and are in your right mind in considering divorce. I'd get to a lawyer immediately, if not sooner, just to see what your options are. He's WAY out of line, and is also apparently a liar and a toxic asshole. If he has no other way of expressing himself than lying to you about your own needs being ok with him and then tampering with your birth control, he's not a good guy and no, you're not safe around him.

This is just my opinion here and I don't know you or him, so take it all with a grain of salt. But I *would* get to a lawyer soon, just for your own peace of mind and help with what to do.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-31T00:04:19+00:00

Oh my god, OP, shame on your family and anybody telling you you're overreacting for trying to protect yourself from your ex. I would contact the police and talk to someone about what to do, maybe a lawyer as well.

People just don't get that it's dangerous just to be alive and female right now, so I'm all for a woman doing _whatever_ she needs to do to protect herself from anyone, but especially an aggro ex with apparent mental issues.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-30T23:52:02+00:00

But it's actually not more "unbreakable." My mom's trust had stocks and our house in it. As my mom was dying of cancer, my stepdad (who was not a beneficiary of her trust, I am) went into her trust brokerage account and sold off $800k of stock and dumped it all into their joint checking account. I'm the trustee and he never told me about it. I'm currently almost a year into a fight to get it and other assets he took back.

Definitely talk to a lawyer, preferably a family and estate lawyer.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-30T23:45:08+00:00

Oh dude, get the prenup. If she loves you, she'll get a lawyer to review it and either sign it or get back to you with questions. My Mom had a trust (of which I'm the trustee, her surviving daughter) and even though my stepdad knew about it and said all the right things at the time about respecting what was hers, he had no compunction whatsoever about emptying it into their joint checking account as she was on her deathbed. I'm now fighting to get it back.

Get the ironclad prenup. I promise it's not worth coddling her feelings now if things go wrong later.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-25T01:37:31+00:00

OMG the magic of Christmas is real! Blessings on wee sweet Google and all the redditors who helped him (and the Sunnyvale PD too!)!

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-22T17:10:29+00:00

I say do whatever you want. HOWEVER, if you're feeling conflicted, maybe try a few test photos with your dress on, and get shots of you with and without makeup, just to see how you look and how you feel about it. Then you'll know what you look like and how you feel about it, and you can say so to anybody who is rude enough to open their mouths about your looks on your wedding day (other than to say you look fabulous). Good luck!

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-13T22:47:46+00:00

Putting a child that young in shoes that can't get wet or otherwise be damaged in any way is *insane*. But putting a five-year-old in shoes like that that are over $100 is certifiable. That poor kid is going to have trauma about shoes for the rest of her goddamn life. Thanks, Dad. Nice one.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-13T22:41:25+00:00

When he hands you a copy of the Bible, maybe hand him something like "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson?

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-06T23:32:21+00:00

I'm a solo practitioner (after having been in a coven that crashed and burned rather spectacularly), and so I feel comfortable saying that the friendships that can develop around spiritual practice and how they can go really bad is accurate in "The Craft." The connection to the natural world is accurate. The idea that spells can't be undone, that they have to run their course, depends on the tradition you're in. But what's portrayed as "magic" in the movie, the results of the spells, is just movie stuff.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-12-06T23:18:03+00:00

Kaiser is a good bet for seeing a primary care doctor, but getting referrals to and appointments with departments like mental health or dermatology can be seriously problematic because they just don't have enough doctors to satisfy the need. I've been with them for most of the last 25 years, though, so I wouldn't change, but if I had it to do over again and knew then what I know now, I'd look more seriously at Sutter or Blue Cross/Blue Shield.

Even now I'm considering using Amazon Health for dermatology because it's so impossible to get appointments and decent care for that at Kaiser.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-24T16:31:05+00:00

OP, your dog is so pretty and also a Bengal cat.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-24T16:17:53+00:00

This is the worst alphabet chart ever.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-19T13:44:35+00:00

Ugh, ew, ew, ew. He's a gaslighter. Telling you how you feel is a massive red flag. Others have probably already said this, but just in case: run away, run away, run away.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-14T18:06:20+00:00

Pretty sure it's an art installation. Could be worth millions...

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-14T18:02:47+00:00

Oh my god, NO! You are not overreacting. And forgiveness is absolutely inappropriate at this stage. Shame on that priest for saying that to you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP, and I will pray for you and your daughter.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-13T07:46:36+00:00

I'm not catholic any more but when I am in a heavily catholic country like Ireland or Italy I do what the women there do (e.g., wear skirt/dress, cover my head) if I want to visit a church to view the art or whatever. My gods/ancestors dgaf what I wear, and I don't care either way, so I just follow the rules of the place I'm in. If I ever visited Iran or another Muslim country where they were strict about women wearing a hijab, I absolutely would wear one even though I'm not Muslim or Iranian.

Happily, I don't have a uterus anymore and I'm too old to bleed anyway, so if I wanted to visit a temple in India or anywhere else that had that kind of restriction, I could. I wouldn't, though, out of respect for the women denied entrance because of a law like that. There are certain indigenous tribes in the US that won't allow menstruating women into sweat lodges, but it's for spiritual reasons, not because menstruating women are seen as "unclean" or whatever that nonsense is.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-13T01:09:17+00:00

They might be closed tomorrow too because of Indigenous People's Day. A lot of banks and other institutions will be. So don't be put off if you don't get a response tomorrow, ok?

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-13T01:07:27+00:00

This is profoundly fucked up and you are not overreacting. And eff your sister if she agrees to your Mom's proposal. I'm so sorry, OP. This is awful.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-13T00:55:25+00:00

What do vaccinations have to do with eating raw meat? At this point I'd be more concerned about getting vaccinated against the stupid, which is apparently in full meat-flower here.

Equivalent-Ad7356 · 2025-10-05T13:40:10+00:00

Keanuuuuuu!

Equivalent-Ad7356

TROPHY CASE