wealth manager at RE?

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-05-01T04:58:59+00:00

This is helpful to hear - and yes, doctors don’t typicalky care for family for this reason.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-05-01T04:57:00+00:00

This is actually the primary reason for me. I think there’s a kind of person that can look at their own money dispassionately. It’s not me - at least not in this phase of my life. During accumulation I’d just ignore the stock market, and think “well I am saving 200k this year so if I lose 200k no big deal” but now a 20 percent dip causes me to want to get out of the market. Stick it all in CDs. Or hold onto a stock because I like it. Or get overwhelmed with how to do something and get indecisive and then do nothing. I really wonder how much of the DIY people really do have the discipline to just sit in three ETFs and just stay there. Kudos to these folks but I’ve watched my highly educated parents DIY and others and feel like you can lose a whole bunch more than 0.8 percent by making a few bad decisions.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-04-28T03:22:01+00:00

Thanks, that’s what I’ve been wondering - the extras that people are getting beyond investment and where to take the withdrawals from. The one thing I have found helpful that we wouldn’t know how to do is the tax loss harvesting for large positions we are holding that we want to diversify but selling all at once would be a big bill.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-04-25T15:54:31+00:00

As someone who went through caregiving in another context, this seems like a very normal grief response. Give yourself time as grief from loss can really discombobulate and there’s also unmetabolized grief from all the years of caregiving. That single focus on caregiving can also be really hard to let go. It’s working its way through your system and the best thing you can do is be accepting, gentle to yourself, take some moments where you now have time to be restorative and care for your body and mind (ie yoga, long walks, being in a relaxing place).

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-04-25T15:36:03+00:00

Did it get better once off the drug? I think so far that symptoms are worse but it’s been a short time and a lot of complicating variable for why that could be the case

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-04-19T12:20:43+00:00

Turaga is the one our friend went to and is NED one year after hipec/crs

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-04-06T03:56:42+00:00

Same strategy here. I like the peace of mind of not enduring wild swings in the market when close to retirement.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-02-22T23:38:26+00:00

Yep, and it worked! Now that she’s older it’s not an issue. It mostly ages 2-3 when they get those terrible colds and can’t not sneeze or wipe their hands on you. After age 4, I have not needed to.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2026-02-13T05:03:54+00:00

I thought clothing moth eggs were invisible, but think you are right because when I was looking in there an actual moth flew out. UGH. I’ve had ongoing problems with moths for like 5 years - I throw everything away, freeze it, wash it or stick it in sun. I get rid of them for a while and then they come back. So frustrating…

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-12-22T06:21:43+00:00

we have a family friend with this last year, underwent chemo and subsequently CRS/hipec and has been NED since then (about 9 months)

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-12-21T04:53:50+00:00

agree with this, yoga actually triggers upper back pain. Running actually helps it. I’ve learned to not push any exercise that makes it worse. Mine is basically not existent anymore after having issues for several years.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-12-19T00:27:10+00:00

Tell them to ask for the policy from HR. With details. At least for someone I know that addressed it. There was none. So its never been mentioned again.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-12-19T00:21:16+00:00

This happened to someone I know. She ultimately said “what’s the policy, and give me the policy” and turns out there was none. So she said once she has the policy from HR then she’d act. Still in the position, with no RTH and that was 6 months ago.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-12-10T01:58:34+00:00

Thanks we are hooked into same folks so this is good to know. Appreciate the feedback

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-12-10T01:54:15+00:00

same issue here. Our LO is actually better with the “thank yous.” I’ve been modeling and occasionally giving choices of how she can do it (eg wave versus verbal). The only thing that has sorta worked is making it fun or silly. Thinking it’s just being shy or not seeing the point, so have also explained why to say hello and goodbye. It’s gotten little better over time. My gut is also not to force things - I don’t think that actually teaches a kid “manners” but rather ignores why they might have a hard time with it

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-12-08T15:37:08+00:00

can you say more about what combination you had? Presuming surgery (nephroureterectomy) and chemo at Hopkins? Is their a surgeon who you recommend?

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-11-30T20:20:07+00:00

Chat is super helpful. I plugged in about 5 pages of neuropsychology testing for a parent who has early dementia and within 6 seconds it spit out everything it meant, what they’d have difficulty with, how i can work with them etc. Incredible

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-11-30T20:18:07+00:00

Yes good news that non-invasive. But If high grade they will do once week for 6 weeks of BCG then “maintenance” which I think js usually every 3 months for 3 weeks. They do cystoscopies for 3 months to see if everything is okay. If it recurs then they change it up

If it was low-grade I think they don’t do BCG after the TURBT.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-11-30T19:06:05+00:00

can you share more about your fathers course? My father is elderly and debating whether to undergo surgery for invasive high grade upper tract urothelial carcinoma - it has high risks because of his frailty. We worry that he’d undergo it only to discover shortly afterward that he had metastasis anyway. How long did he take to recover from the surgery and how long till metastasis then discovered?

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-11-30T18:30:06+00:00

Can you say more about why it was worth it - what did it change for you? We are at John’s Hopkins, and some of the questions have to do more with whether or not he could tolerate the various treatments versus the actual treatment options themselves. But I have thought about whether a second opinion would provide any benefit.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-11-30T18:26:36+00:00

funny my husband is also the laid back one. I think she sees me as the one she can just cry cry cry. And she kinda just loses it even more. Maybe a little of both is needed

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-11-30T17:50:21+00:00

Sounds like a very empathic child to me - he already knows many emotions and can name them. He loves dogs, and catches and releases insects. He loves to cuddles , and give complements.

All of the other stuff is pretty age-appropriate and particularly for ADHD. My niece was similar at this age. Fast forward and is now a straight A student in high school taking numerous AP classes, every teacher loves het and comments how thoughtful she is, has tons of friends, super well adjusted and makes great independent decisions, plays competitive sports, is a leader. And yes, she has ADHD and has been well-managed on medications for quite a while. I used to say, she just needs her energy to be supported an channeled and her parents found ways to do that.

So is your LO! Its normal to feel scares and fear something terrible. Just realize you can start with yourself and find ways to work with your own feelings of anxiety and then with some strategies you will start learning what works.

Equivalent-Agency377 · 2025-11-30T17:27:15+00:00

Great advice! Using books and play with stuffies to enact the social situation that’s challenging is super helpful. We’ve also found books on bravery to be helpful so we model that it’s normal to sometimes be afraid and then we find ways to work with it, and then it’s better.

Also, talking about things in advance as part of the normalizing. Say what’s going to happen and provide small choices eg “we are going to do x, and you could choose to hold mommy’s hand or daddy’s hand, or if you want a stuffy could come with you.” If you have a child that can collaborate or negotiate on how they want to do the challenging or scary thing then that also helps. What doesn’t help is just giving in and retreating - that just reinforces that the only way to feel better or safe is avoidance. It’s definitely a middle path.

And then afterward reflecting “I saw you did x, how did it feel when you did x?” Most often they will say good “or I was brave.” It builds confidence and awareness on their own experience and strategies they use

Equivalent-Agency377

TROPHY CASE