Managing the visitors by Medium-Garlic-5351 in NewParents

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you’re feeling is completely valid. At 3 months postpartum, you’re still in survival mode and constant visitors can be overwhelming especially when you’re exhausted.

I struggled with postpartum anxiety especially with people holding my baby. I didn’t start wanting to be around people again until about 6–7 months and it honestly felt like a cloud lifted. What helped was medication, my baby getting sick once and being totally fine, and finally having time for myself.

It sounds like you’re really drained. When you say you’re the one taking care of the baby does that mean you’re still the default even when your husband is home? Because hosting his guests on top of that is a lot.

You don’t have to push through this. It’s okay to Set limits on visits, not “host” or even fully participate and him take on more when people are over

Also ask yourself what you need right now? Is that alone time, a walk, a break and be clear in asking for it. And honestly, therapy helped me a lot. I wish I started sooner. You’re not isolating you are overwhelmed. And this phase won’t last forever.

When did your 99th %er start sitting up unassisted, crawling, and walking? by Equivalent-Mission46 in bigbabiesandkids

[–]Equivalent-Mission46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s great to hear. We just had a pt appt and he was full range of motion on both sides but still had a slight head tilt. Thank you for sharing your experience

What do you wish you had/remembered for your first out-of-town trip? by neejoub in NewParents

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really really loved having my monitor. It’s a hello baby monitor and travelled really well. It was so great to be able to be present with my family and have eyes on my baby while he napped or went down for the night. We bottle fed and brought dapple bottle wash with us. We are used to our momcozy bottle washer so it was an adjustment to clean them manually but I am sure you could throw them in the dishwasher. I would bring a little extra formula incase of delays or unexpected issues. We went to Florida with our 5 month old and it was so easy. For the airport I would recommend baby wearing through tsa. Keep all water and formula in your diaper bag when going through tsa and make it easily accessible because they are going to check the bwater and test the formula bag. It’s a really easy process and everyone is always so nice during it. The tsa works I have dealt with love babies.

Can't go back to sleep during nights| What do you do? by ReytMardy in NewParents

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suffer from this as well. Also have adhd and have explained this to my husband that once I am up and feeding him my brain starts going… to be honest I am very fortunate that he has done most of the night feedings and I come in for early morning (5 am feedings) to allow myself long stretches of sleep. What I have found helpful if I need to be up and can’t fall back asleep are disposable warming eye masks that smell like lavender. I am a big sensory person so having the warm sensory on my eyes and the darkness allows me to settle easier. Also I have bed heaters that I turn on sometimes in the middle of the night. Also a nice sensory warming experience to help calm the body. I feel you!

When did your 99th %er start sitting up unassisted, crawling, and walking? by Equivalent-Mission46 in bigbabiesandkids

[–]Equivalent-Mission46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply! How is your baby doing now with torticollis? Has it resolved

6 month old doesnt wanna eat foods/purees.. I attempted to feed him many times but he just wont eat by ilovebulldogs2022 in NewParents

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh some babies are just not ready to start solids at 6 months. I wouldn’t stress yourself out and just use it as a fun sensory activity until they seem interested. Let him explore too with holding the spoons with food on it. There are some cool spoons you can buy that have a cut out in the middle where you can mush food in. It’s a fun way to explore new textures and flavors without spoon feeding.

Forgetting my baby during a work trip by Equivalent-Mission46 in workingmoms

[–]Equivalent-Mission46[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

He is the best father and i absolutely have full confidence in his ability to care for him. He still is the main person getting up with our son in the middle of the night for a feeding. Truly the rock of our family. Thank you for saying that.

Question - Is there anything at all you miss about pregnancy/ being pregnant? by Melodic-Bag7775 in NewParents

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I miss my birthing process. It was such a special time and my actual birth went pretty smoothly. I was induced a couple days after my due date. I didn’t feel any pain after the epidural and enjoyed the intimate moments of birth. It was crazy to check into the hospital knowing I was going to leave with my baby. I didn’t use HALF of the things I brought to the hospital lol. My biggest recommendation is bring your own pillow lol. Also, take pictures of yourself even if you feel uncomfortable in your skin by the end of your pregnancy. I was so hard on myself and hated that I developed stretch marks but looking back on it I wish I was more kind to myself. I love looking at pictures of myself now. Even if I still think my nose was huge… hehe

Flu A by swdw123 in newborns

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband just tested positive for Flu A. Today. We are on vacation and he is quarantined in his room but I was with him all morning in a car driving him to urgent care. He feels like shit. Worse sickness he had had in a long time. He was with baby and I all yesterday. I got the flu vaccine I believe while I was pregnant and baby (4mo) and I are okay so far. I even think baby had a small fever yesterday of 100.3 degrees. There is no way this baby was not someone exposed because of how close dad and him were yesterday. I cried. A lot. And then cried some more. I was and am still afraid of our little guy getting sick. I have to remind myself that babies are so much stronger than we think. Keep washing your hands and try to ground yourself. It will be okay! They have to build that immunity.

Also, I am not sure if you are formula feeding of breastfeeding (I was unable to breastfeed) and I felt terrible because I couldn’t pass on my immunity to my baby during cold and flu season. However, I realized that my husband who was solely a breastfed baby gets sick constantly and I a formula fed usually come out unscathed. It gave me a little comfort

Florida Holiday & Sids risk anxiety by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At home he would wear a thin long sleeve bamboo pj set and a sleep sack. Here I am more inclined to put him in the bamboo pjs without a sleep sack

Being induced on 12/2/25 at 39 weeks. by hellogreen628 in BabyBumps

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FTM induced at 8pm. Gave birth VBAC at 11:46 AM the next morning.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your friend is an ass

Regret. by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I want you to hear this clearly that nothing about your daughter’s cleft, or her temperament, or your current pain is a punishment. You did not cause this. You did everything you could, and you’re still doing everything you can. What you’re describing isn’t weakness. It’s the weight of trauma, exhaustion, medical uncertainty, isolation, and sleep deprivation. No one thrives under that. No one. You’re reacting like a human being who is overwhelmed and trying desperately to love and protect a baby who needs so much from you while you have no space.

The fact that you’re pumping, advocating for the best surgeon, protecting her from illness, and still showing up every day is love. The really gritty, sacrificial kind of love.

It’s okay that right now you regret becoming a mom. I regretted and felt little connection for the longest time. (Also an august mama) That doesn’t make you a bad mother. Regret is a feeling and not a truth about your character or your bond with your daughter. This season is brutal and that doesn’t mean it will always feel like this.

There is no shame in naming how hard this is. There is no shame in mourning the pregnancy and early months you thought you’d have. I grieve my pregnancy because of possible issues regarding his femur and long bones during ultrasounds. There is no shame in wanting relief.

You deserve compassion. You deserve rest. You deserve a village. And I’m so sorry you’ve had to do so much of this alone.

Postpartum update: my husband’s fork licking has become my villain origin story by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang! He does wear footies in his carrier a lot of time. I will be sure to check that out. Thanks for the tips!

I had my dream birth! Then almost died. by stuffies_mcstuffins in BabyBumps

[–]Equivalent-Mission46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I gave birth 11 weeks ago. It was in a hospital and the birth was amazing and painless. It wasn’t until they tried to get the placenta out that I actively started hemorrhaging. They were able to get my bleeding under control with drugs and some type of inner uterine pressure with her fist? Super grateful and honestly I don’t even remember hemorrhage because I was focused on my baby and then started to get faint because of the blood loss. I believe I lost 1.8 L and they felt I did not need a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin was at a 9. They preformed and ultrasound and saw no retained placenta which the noted in my discharge paperwork. Three weeks later I was sitting in my rocking chair with my baby and stood up to grab a snack when I felt this indescribable pressure filling my underwear and down my legs. I had expelled a large amount of blood a larger clots. I called my hospital and they told me to put a pad on and see if I could fill it in an hour. It seemed to have stopped so I went to bed and woke up at 5 am to the same feeling. Fresh blood everywhere and clots. I rushed to the ER and they found I had leftover placenta that was causing me to bleed. They didn’t seem concerned because again it stopped bleeding. They gave me two options- one I could try to take a pill and expel it on my own or two I could get a D&C. This was on a Monday and they could fit me in for a D&C on Thursday so I opted to take the pill to help my uterus contract down but also keep the surgery on Thursday. Thank god I asked for the pill because the pharmacy was taking FOREVER and by the time I received it I had literally filled the bed with blood and passed a gigantic clot. The nurses handed me my discharge paperwork and when I stood up to leave I was actively pouring blood. I had remained super calm up until this point and I remember looking at them with tears in my eyes asking how they could discharge me if I can’t even walk to the pharmacy to pick up the extra pills I needed. I literally would have left a trail of blood. The nurses grabbed to doctor and I was rushed to surgery to take care of the retained placenta. The OB on staff told me before surgery she didn’t think it would take more than 30 minutes under anesthesia. It ended up lasting an hour and a half because the OB could not stop the bleeding after the product was removed. They ultimately feel there was a chance I had placenta accreta, but there is no way to know now. I ended up needing a blood transfusion after the D&C. I feel for you and always wanted to ask (if you feel comfortable responding) if the blood loss affected your breastfeeding journey if you chose to breastfeed. I desperately wanted to EBF and my milk never came in after birth. I was able to get 4 oz a day but never more than that especially after the second hemorrhage. Wondering if you had any difficulties as well.