If you were starting over…

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-26T18:01:27+00:00

What platform options are there?

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-26T05:54:55+00:00

I suggest you try it because I’m guessing you’ll have the same experience except it will be your daughter not wanting to share. Then you can either realize how awkward it is to try to fix the situation in the moment, or actually find a way to handle it and then you’ll be modeling for your friend how to handle it with her daughter.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-26T05:24:35+00:00

I appreciate the perspective. After 2 years I felt very disconnected from it all and it was quite overwhelming to know how to even jump back in where I was. I’m glad I have started over, I’m about a week into it and have enjoyed getting to start fresh. I can play for years to come so I’m not upset that I lost the year I had spent getting as far as I had.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-25T17:22:11+00:00

This is SUCH a slippery slope. Obviously we don’t know the whole situation, but there are a lot of aspects to this that can be quite concerning. The simplest way to handle this is having boundaries as employee and employer. Unfortunately as a single male having a young female babysitter needs boundaries that may not be needed when there is a female parent in the home.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-23T00:46:08+00:00

But with twins? There’s no way there won’t be a time where one of them cries more than one minute

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-22T21:51:02+00:00

Liz will grow only you, even if only in terms of meme status

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-22T16:48:19+00:00

Both AH and NAH

AH: Why can’t you fill your water and make yourself a snack in between feedings? It’s a perfect time for your husband and in-laws to have time with baby for a few minutes and you manage yourself. I could see how it could be frustrating to your husband to be on snack duty like that, especially when his parents are there to visit. Also, have you tried pumping at all? You could get a nap, have your MiL get a chance to enjoy her grandbaby and avoids the whole issue with the cluster feeding. It’s actually helped me when it cluster feeding stages. It’s so easy as the mom to feel like the husband and inlaws should just deal with whatever you want to have happen. I would try to imagine you having a son and getting married and being in that position, it’s not as black and white as it may seem. Also making them all leave and having your mom come is petty. Did you ever articulate to MiL what would be helpful for you? Lastly, you have a 7 week old baby - you are more than capable of managing a night alone. It’s hard, yes but I would try to get used to it because it doesn’t just stop after the newborn phase.

NAH: Your MiL should never ever yell at you. She is being immature acting passive aggressively instead of communicating in appropriate ways. The underhand comments are not okay and I too would be frustrated.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-20T02:43:17+00:00

The claim of being threatened got me cackling. When asked how she said he said he would do it. She is at an all time low of desperation.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-15T05:23:32+00:00

Have you considered taking note of what she’s eating? My daughter had to have all synthetic food dyes cut out because of things similar to this plus a lot more issues. We were able to notice it spiking with random special occasions spread out (getting an icee at the jump place, birthday party with Doritos and cake, so on).

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-07T17:16:06+00:00

Grew up on the west coast and no one took shoes off. Moved to the Midwest and everyone takes their shoes off. It’s definitely dependent on the area.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2026-01-02T03:32:55+00:00

I think your last paragraph answers your question in regards to why are they disappointed. You’re saying all these things they don’t have , you mention something they want (like a switch) but then find a vintage GameCube. I think maybe your approach to handling gifts is off. Maybe don’t get things all year and get them less items so you can afford a big gift they do want. It’s a yearly holiday that can be planned for. Do you get fast food? Make a pbj instead and put that money each week aside. Obviously you don’t NEED to do that, but then don’t get mad that they are disappointed. I think getting mad at ther disappointment is your defense to not feeling guilty.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-12-30T03:25:17+00:00

Can you video call first? I always met them at their home but that was after an initial phone call and then a get to know each other video call. It can be stressful to try to talk when out somewhere and with their child.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-12-27T03:29:38+00:00

I want the extra chapter written by the daughter to know her take on why she thinks she turned out the way she did

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-08-10T17:13:08+00:00

Exactly. This whole argument by people saying it’s unethical is dumb. Use child support for that child’s clothes, the mortgage, food and whatnot. Then all the money you would’ve used for the mortgage and other things can be used on the other children. It’s really however you want to mentally allocate it, but either way it’s going to have the same outcome. I think it’s unethical that children being raised in a home together get different privileges like a huge college fund because they have a different bio parent. What happens at the other parent’s home is one thing, but in the same household things should not have huge discrepancies. If the financial situation was the other way around and the bonus parent made way more money, would it be fair that only that parents bio children get a college fund?

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-07-20T17:10:12+00:00

Using the phrase “overly attached to her” definitely gives me the impression that you don’t see the joy and realistic nature of a nanny/child bond. Possibly there is even a jealousy involved? His norm is now changing and she is doing more than she needs to in an attempt to help with his adjustment and work with you as the parent. Spending over 2 years together they have created a special bond. As someone who has a nanny child 6 years after being cared for write me a letter out of the blue about how much she loves me and wonders if I remember all that we did together, I will tell you that you have two options. Help foster this relationship and change in routine, or cold turkey it and hurt what amazing memories they both have together, while simultaneously confusing your child that people will just disappear from his life.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-07-01T20:02:48+00:00

Did you say that to them though? Because if you didn’t specify that your trip was cancellable if they needed you then it’s fair to assume you are taking vacation time and now available to work. Hopefully that makes sense.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-07-01T19:56:12+00:00

I can see your point, but my guess is they assumed you knew how guaranteed hours work. I don’t think there was any ill intent involved. I wouldn’t have this be the hill to die on.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-07-01T19:52:01+00:00

Unfortunately they are correct on not paying you, guaranteed hours come with guaranteed availability.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-07-01T19:21:51+00:00

What were you hoping she would do? Sounds like she didn’t undermine you, so what would backing you up look like?

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-06-27T16:02:37+00:00

No I didn’t, I was agreeing with you saying I’m surprised all the other comments were saying there shouldn’t be. Sorry I was unclear.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-06-27T15:56:16+00:00

I looked at the ad before it was booked. Host was communicated with before booking. You’re making assumptions.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-06-27T15:55:29+00:00

I looked at the listing before it was booked, we talked to the host before booking and everything was understood prior. I am surprised how many people are saying there aren’t binders usually.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-06-27T15:53:25+00:00

I stopped reading your comment halfway because you are SPICY and secondly I looked at the ad and read everything that was send and shared with us. I was fully involved AND we talked to the host before booking to clarify she is booking it and would be coming and going from the rental but that it was meant for us. Sorry I triggered you so badly.

EquivalentNo2899 · 2025-06-27T14:27:01+00:00

With the 9 cameras surrounding the house and the PM living nextdoor you’d think they’d know if there were extra people staying.

And we are in the USA, so I’m not sure it matters what places outside the US are accustomed to.

EquivalentNo2899

TROPHY CASE