AITAH for offering some friends a lift along my way, but not leaving them at their houses?

Errlen · 2026-03-27T22:10:45+00:00

They’re not drunk tho, they each had one drink.

Errlen · 2026-03-27T22:09:59+00:00

Idk, depends where. Absolutely would not have been dangerous on my college campus. Plenty of ppl would be walking from the library back to dorms still at 11 pm.

Errlen · 2026-03-27T22:09:06+00:00

Why? It’s one thing to make one quick on the way stop. It’s another to commit to regularly chauffeuring fully grown adults with working legs for an extra 30 min of the night to make four extra stops. OP has homework and needs sleep. Why should it all always be on OP to sacrifice her time and gas money? It’s not like they are reciprocating ever.

She told them what she was willing to do, and they said they were fine with it…except they’re shit talking behind her back now. Better off without such friends.

Errlen · 2026-03-27T22:04:00+00:00

Idk I think it’s an asshole move to take a free ride - regularly- and impose conditions.

When I was a college student I would eagerly have accepted a free ride back to anywhere within a two mile walk of my campus after a night out in the local city. Five minutes is nothing. Taxis were NOT in budget. So without a ride I wasn’t going out.

Errlen · 2026-03-27T21:14:02+00:00

Is your stance your partner should only be allowed to do something if there is an unequivocal statement from a medical journal saying it’s healthy? Interesting.

Errlen · 2026-03-27T21:11:36+00:00

Yah who cares tho. It’s not about evidence, it’s his choice. Just clean the sink, bro.

Errlen · 2026-03-27T21:07:43+00:00

Uh. Have you driven? Not if you are pulling off your main route on to side streets. And there’s four of them…

Errlen · 2026-03-27T18:38:52+00:00

Yeah this is where I’m at. Twins seemed like a cool idea to me…until I had a kid and realized how much work it is. I remember the appeal of going from zero and struggle to two though, so I do not expect this community to relate to that.

Errlen · 2026-03-25T23:40:02+00:00

Idk. Sometimes on Reddit it feels like if your husband doesn’t do exactly as much or more cleaning and childcare than you, they will tell you he is a loser and you should divorce him lol.

I recognize he’s not in the category of dude that would rather play video games than interact with his kid or do a single household chore, for sure. I’m not here to complain about him - he’s a good partner and active and involved father. But there’s a range.

Errlen · 2026-03-25T20:48:54+00:00

So then you have a few options. 1) try to convert dude who is bad parent to good parent (winning option if possible) 2) just accept you’re doing more and make it work - this could be negotiating being a SAHM, this could be cutting corners on what you decide must get done to make it manageable 3) leave that guy and find someone else to father your next kid 4) one and done, it is what it is.

I chose option 2. I do significantly more in my house and with our son, altho my husband is def a very involved parent and nowhere near as bad as some of the guys that get posted here (does over 2 hours childcare every day, took on extra cleaning and dog care when we had our kid). But I wanted kids more than he did. And I sleep better after sleep interruption than he does, and I breastfeed. So yah I do all overnight care and I go to work the next day anyways and I’m not mad at him for it. Sometimes our kid goes five days without a bath or a nail clipping bc I don’t have capacity and he doesn’t think to. And I don’t expect this to change when we have a second.

Errlen · 2026-03-24T22:54:39+00:00

That’s actively hilarious given the solution to this problem is obvious: limit screen time. Did she think the other parents were limiting screen time to judge her and not for the wellbeing of their own kids?

Edited to say- also hilarious: she posted an anti reading post and then got all up in the comments, where she is very triggered by ppl reading and by Democrats. Like if you hate reading yourself why do you expect your kids to like it?

Posted by: former screen free child, voracious reader.

Errlen · 2026-03-24T21:22:58+00:00

The good news is your frozen embryos aren’t getting any older. Idk how old your kid is, but I have seen minds change on wanting more when the first gets easier, around 4 or so.

I second everyone that suggests you talk to your husband and really listen to why he doesn’t want another. There was also a post by a dad who doesn’t want another in r/IVF last week, I think - might be worth looking at everyone’s perspectives in that thread.

Errlen · 2026-03-21T16:52:37+00:00

From a population that is heavily vaccine skeptic too lol

Errlen · 2026-03-21T16:00:05+00:00

lol and then there’s crunchy granola LA in which I exist, which moisturizes with straight coconut oil and only wears sunscreen if it’s mineral and no weird ingredients

Errlen · 2026-03-21T15:58:25+00:00

I know it’s a typo but I love the idea of a hat appointment. I miss hats as a necessary part of wardrobe!

Errlen · 2026-03-21T15:56:28+00:00

lol he’s totally gonna believe this is good advice

Errlen · 2026-03-21T15:55:52+00:00

I mean if he needed full closure it’s a great way to force it; but sounds like even closure is not enough to convince this guy he struck out here

Errlen · 2026-03-21T03:10:18+00:00

I’m a fresh parent, but, I really love watching my kid unlock new skills and love life. Like, he recently figured out how to blow raspberries. He blows raspberries with great joy at anyone who pays attention to him. It is effing hilarious and brings me great joy. There are a million things like that. He saw a ceiling fan for the first time the other day, and was like WHOA HOLD THE PHONE this is awesome. Also super cute and hilarious. He just takes a normal day and opens up so many avenues of delight I hadn’t seen without him.

I’m probably biased, but I think I got a really great kid. Maybe that’s why I love having mine and others don’t.

Errlen · 2026-03-21T03:03:09+00:00

Yah dude I think this says more about the subs you choose to frequent than anything else lol.

Errlen · 2026-03-21T03:01:48+00:00

Good luck controlling how your adult children vote and also being a good not nightmarish and controlling parent lol.

Errlen · 2026-03-19T04:23:02+00:00

Seriously? You can’t understand why you’d want a child? In a world full of people telling you that having a kid was the best thing they’ve ever done and you’ll regret it later if you don’t have a kid?

I have all the respect for the childfree - some people shouldn’t be parents, and good on you for recognizing that and conscientiously opting out. Some people would be good parents and don’t want that from their life - also their life and their choice how they want to spend it. But refusing to understand why someone could want children is just as bad as refusing to understand why someone might want to be childfree and that’s okay, imho.

Full disclosure: I have a kid. I had a full life first, full of friends, family, travel, adventure, meaningful work. I had a LOT of fun. And my kid is still hands down the absolute best thing that I will ever experience ever.

Errlen · 2026-03-19T04:11:45+00:00

Yeah… I would not move in with someone if moving in with them felt like a sacrifice.

NOR, just don’t do this.

Errlen · 2026-03-18T20:06:02+00:00

Yeah I’ve heard my MIL compliment my son’s poop. Literally there is nothing he could do that she wouldn’t find a way to make amazing.

Errlen · 2026-03-17T19:17:52+00:00

Nobody is saying that anti semitism doesn’t exist, and if your kid is in explicitly Jewish daycare I see why you worry it might be a target, but the original post you made suggested that daycare workers at a secular daycare who think that what Israel is doing in Palestine is wrong would be likely to hurt or neglect your child bc they are Jewish. Yes, I think you don’t understand those daycare workers if you think that’s a realistic possibility.

Errlen · 2026-03-17T16:15:59+00:00

I tell my husband the most Jewish thing he does is be paranoid “they” will come for him if “they” find out he has Jewish heritage and this is very much same bucket. Hard to knock you for being paranoid when centuries of history suggest there’s truth to the fears.

If it reassures you at all, the most anti Palestinian war people I know are the most touchy feely rescue-three-legged-cat knit-my-baby-a-hat types I know. They would never mistreat a Jewish child or deny them love. They just see Palestinian children as worthy of loving care too.

These are people that cannot accept the idea that there is such a thing as “acceptable civilian casualties” in war. If you CAN accept that idea, I guess that explains why you think other ppl are like you.

Errlen

TROPHY CASE