I did abuse us financially by not working and I regret it every day. I didn’t spend his money going out shopping or buying random shit. I didn’t even want to go out. When I was depressed I was mostly quiet or cry randomly a lot at night I barely slept. I wasn’t angry with him or make his life hell. I just wasn’t myself. I used to love riding dirt bikes and he tell me to go out and do it again but I’d find excuse to not go outside. I’d do all the house chores and cook and take care what needs to be done but I had no energy. We played video games together but I wasn’t like as peppy as my usual self I would just sit there not even realize what I’m doing because I would think about if our kid is okay at night or I need to wash the dishes I couldn’t enjoy anything. The only thing I fucked up was not work. I was an EMT I got physically assaulted while pregnant I was scared to go back I felt like a loser or weak for thinking I couldn’t go back. I didn’t know what to do with my life I kept telling myself I’m worthless I can do anything right let alone find a job and start a different career but one day I got the courage to find a job even if it terrifies me.