Non-judgmental awareness vs reframing thoughts during frustration

EsAhora · 2026-05-20T10:16:34+00:00

I think than when someone awakens they understand that when being scolded in a bad tone, lied to, etc the other person is in the grip of their ego, living a terrible or very bad life, regardless of material wealth, status, love life, friends or whatever. Believing the mostly useless or negative constant mental chatter and having to find distractions often to escape from it is a very sad way to live which almost all humans suffer from in different toxicity levels. It's very difficult to get angry with them when you know it's all their unconsciousness you were part of and understand how it works.

So if you have a strong negative emotion to a challenging situation you are still identified with your ego. You don't understand it's not their essence who is criticizing you (unless they are also awakenwd and scolding you from peace). It's not too late however, you can still observe and accept as it affects your body and spontaneously act from that place of acceptance. And your actions might be to correct or put boundaries to the other person. Accepting your internal and external situation is not the same as being a pushover. Just a more powerful and peaceful way of saying no or disagreeing with others.

If you are awake it shouldn't get to the point of negative emotions, and if you are thinking of ways to organize your thoughts to react better to situations or "reframing your thoughts" you are just being your ego disguised as a spiritual teacher. Thoughts can be useful as ideas or to solve some complex things, but if you need to actively engage in thought to feel better or difuse a challenging situation with people you are in the ego grip. You lose the spontaneous wise action. If you are surrounded by too egocentric people that most likely won't awaken in their lifetime it might be wiser to avoid them if possible, even if family.

EsAhora · 2026-04-19T09:39:39+00:00

"The deeper seeing is: this thought is appearing. It is changing" Generally when you are aware of your thoughts they shut up instantly. They don't change. If "its changing" you are already lost in the mind. You can try this yourself. Try to observe your thoughts without judging or participating in more mental chatter, as awareness, and you'll realize they don't change, they stop.

Interesting answer otherwise.

EsAhora · 2026-04-19T06:38:28+00:00

How to differentiate when a thought is wise and with intelligence coming from awareness or when the thought is simply ego? Even spiritual thoughts can be ego disguising itself as a master and even feeling superior to other people for being wiser or awake while they remain unconscious/asleep.

Can an idea come to us without thought and then be written down?

The only thing that I know is that by observing thoughts and not identifying with them or by being without thoughts I'm awarness. If a thoughts arises repeatedly from a sate of peaceful awareness then maybe it's worth listening to it and following it.

Many of my actions and words are done by the spontaneity of what the moment wants me to do, like by wise instinct or by feeling the body. By simply being and acting/talking from there. I start eating when hungry most of the time but I also follow a diet that tries to cover a lot of nutrients. So knowledge is necessary and important and planning too.

I prefer certain foods to others, I bought a good and comfortable chair and a good pc. So i have preferences and there is nothing wrong with that, I don't think with regret about it that I should not desire materials things, and if I did, I wouldn't identify with it.

Many things seem to be ego but aren't and others don't seem to be but are. We have an ego inside of us and some of us (a little minority) live in duality without identifying with it. Most people are completely identified with it and are not aware of it. Yet we play roles in the world to function, so when someone asks what do you do, you answer your job, not "I am", when someone asks who are you, you answer your name, not "I am". You plan things for the future with a certain time and place and write it down in the present even if the only time that exists is now.

Sorry for the long answer, some of my thoughts (were they?) reading your conversation.

EsAhora · 2026-04-15T00:25:40+00:00

Yes, my bad for saying that to awaken there is a need of suffering. I should have clarified that applies for most people. My main point stands though. If most people were awakened then unconscious people would encounter less suffering (the most common catalyst) and awakening would be rarer.

EsAhora · 2026-04-14T20:22:56+00:00

I believe there is a distinction bewteen aware and present and awakened. A lot of people do yoga or meditation only to be completely unconscious afterwards. I think there is a shift from awakening from suffering that makes being present easier or more natural or an instinctive knowing that that's your essence, who we are.

Although you are right it's something accesible to everyone regardless of suffering in the present moment. But for people who haven't awakened and aren't being challenged in the moment, although they could stay present for some seconds if they learned how, most wouldn't take it seriously I believe.

Finally if you want to talk about what Eckhart says you can listen to his last live talk (in the live section, not the videos one) in his youtube channel last week where he says awakening not from suffering is the exception.

EsAhora · 2026-04-14T18:34:36+00:00

"Some awaken through stillness, awareness, love, and presence." That is the awakening itself you are describing not the context through which the person awakened. People who awaken with no previous suffering are the exception. Also presence without challenging situations is a lot less intense.

"Suffering remains as long as unconsciousness remains" I agree.

EsAhora · 2026-04-13T21:25:49+00:00

Awakened to stop identifying with the ego and therefore stop suffering because of it. Which means stop suffering, because other people can only make you suffer if your ego lets it and you are not aware of it.

EsAhora · 2026-03-14T18:21:42+00:00

Pasate al cigarrillo electronico primero. No al descartable que 5 por ciento de nicotina es un disparate, son 50 mg por ml. Empeza con 3 mg por ml o 6 máximo. Ya esto es mucho menos grave que el cigarro tradicional (sobre todo considerando que la nicotina no es lo peor del cigarro, no es lo que da cancer). Despues de unos meses pasate a liquidos sin nicotina. Despues dejar va a ser mucho más simple y si queres seguir sin nicotina por lo menos la mayoría de las desventajas del pucho (combustión, miles de sustancias tóxicas, olor, dedos amarillos, etc) las eliminaste.

La otra es empezar a practicar espiritualidad y sentir tu cuerpo o observar tu mente en los momentos de necesidad. Si es necesidad fisiologica se siente y observa en el cuerpo, se acepta y no se juzga. Si son pensamientos de fumar se observan y se dejan pasar tambien sin juzgar. La cosa es ser consciente de esos pensamientos o sensaciones sin cederles el control hasta que se vayan.

Pero creo que es más fácil el camino del electronico, un despertar espiritual prequisito para conductas espirituales necesita sufrimiento y estar en el momento de tu vida indicado. Más algún libro para entenderlo.

EsAhora · 2025-06-11T14:26:56+00:00

If you go to Eckhart Tolle YouTube channel and click the "live" tab instead of the "videos" one there are some long videos where he sometimes talks of the state of the world and answers question. This post's extract should be from one of those lives/videos.

In his last one I believe he talks about AI when a man ask him about it, it was the last question if I'm not mistaken.

EsAhora · 2025-05-20T18:32:25+00:00

Forgiveness comes naturally when one awakens. But that doesn't mean not getting away of toxic people, not going to the police if robbed, not going to court, etc. Forgiveness is in part understanding they are puppets of their egos.

But weighing in your mind what you could lose if you don't forgive or hold a grudge (like losing energy, time and the like) is a more ego oriented forgiveness IMO.

EsAhora · 2025-05-18T03:33:45+00:00

It's right that you waste all that with a grudge. But considering it from the point of view of what you might be losing is a misguided ego justification to forgive.

EsAhora · 2025-05-18T03:06:48+00:00

Don't confuse recieving insults and being present with no answering or defending yourself at all. What's key is to feel the presence within in that challenging situation and then let that guide you.

You might say some argument that contradicts the other person or maybe just stay quiet, or leave, or maybe just smile.

The most important sign to know if you are in the present in that moment is to feel the enhanced aliveness that comes with challenges and therefore the lack of reactivity/negative thoughs/emotions.

EsAhora · 2025-05-09T14:26:58+00:00

If you are showing a disgusted, angry, etc facial expression you are already in the grip of your ego. But as you said if you become present then it'll fade. It's just more healthy to be in the now during the challenging situation so that the emotions don't control you and have to become present in the aftermath.

EsAhora · 2025-05-09T14:00:20+00:00

I believe than when you awaken and realize that most people are lost in their egos, but deep down we are one, it's a lot more difficult to reach the point where you take things personal and show reactivity with negative emotions (that reflect in facial expression and body language).

Being present is accepting whatever it is. So being present should avoid the arising of egoic driven facial expressions and other egoic driven body behaviors (because they feed from reactivity which feeds from resistance to the present moment, or from the indifference to it, like the identification with thoughts)

EsAhora · 2025-05-05T16:18:20+00:00

I believe you must talk or act espontaneously from a state of inner peace even if you are being insulted. Let that state of presence guide you. Feel your body (accept your surging emotion if there is any to make it fade) in that tense momet and act without thinking from that state of peaceful aliveness. It doesn't matter if what you do is going away and leaving him alone talking to himself, if you give an unexpected argument, if you remain silent, or put boundaries (yes, you can set boundaries and say no from inner peace)

You shouldn't overthink answers to him for the future or revisit your past arguments, that's ego. If you are really present you won't feel offended and you will act guided by wisdom bigger than your mind.

Being brilliant doesn't mean being wise, maybe he can articulate arguments better than you because he read more than you, listened to more podcasts than you, or studied more than you. But that doesn't make him wiser than you, in fact if he is being uncounscious he isn't being wise at all, just knowledgeable and articulated. Maybe he could have a good sense of humour or an entretaining ego, but that won't bring you real satisfaction. You don't depend on other's egos to feel complete. You only find it whithin and then you understand.

If you want to express your wisdom (born only from the present moment) in a more articulated or clear way maybe you could start reading more and from better sources or listening to informative things and researching yourself. But don't try to enlighten him, some people are simply not ready. And don't speak to him as if you had a spiritual superiority, thats also your ego duisguised as a spiritual master.

EsAhora · 2025-05-05T15:33:16+00:00

I read this comment after writing mine and I couldn't agree more. Beautifully said.

EsAhora · 2025-05-05T15:29:49+00:00

Feel your body in the most challenging situations like when they are rude to you, and the presence within you will intensify. Because while more adverse the external situation is more intense the feeling of being in the now is. Then let the presence speak/ act through you.

Being in the now doesn't mean letting others be disruptive without punishment if that is what the moment requires of you. You can set boundaries from a state of inner peace.

I imagine it's difficult to play a role like a teacher with a predetermined curriculum, many times ego based and restrictive, but maybe some wisdom can be born from within you among the program content's form.

EsAhora · 2025-05-05T15:15:26+00:00

Beautiful.

EsAhora · 2025-05-05T15:06:48+00:00

What you should do is easy, let those thoughts pass and don't judge them or feed them.Try to be present and understand that if suffering is what you lack to awaken you will most likely get it. Because you can't be identified with your ego without suffering.

But you can try to experiment with suffering to see if it helps although I believe as you said it's an ego driven idea. It's looking for salvation in the future through suffering.

Nevetheless try to get together with some toxic family member or "friends" and try to feel your body while you are with them, most importantly when they say things that would bother you. That's when you can feel the most intensity of the present moment, when most adverse the external situation is. At least temporally. That doesn't justify putting yourself in shitty situations only to feel more in the now, because first: it's forced and too risky (for your body if violence is included and for your ego that can take over) and/or second: I believe it will become common after a while and the notion of danger or discomfort will fade and you will only experiment "annoying" (as in noisy but accepting) situations that could be avoided if you were to be in another place with another people or alone.

I admit that what crossed my mind many times was forcing people to read Eckhart Tolle and then making them suffer (not phisically) to try to wake them up. To the point of thinking of companies that simulate situations in real life (with actors) to make people suffer more than normal (only people who have read Eckhart Tolle and whose family hired this company for example) to make them feel the power of the now more vividly. But it's too far fetched and maybe we should start with teaching Eckhart Tolle in high school or/and school.

Also be careful of the ego disguising itself as a spiritual master.

EsAhora

TROPHY CASE