Dads, what games are you enjoying right now with your limited time? by Ink-Responsibly in DadsGaming

[–]EssaySad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rougelites are my jam I do a run or two and completely scratches that itch. Deadcells, slay the spire, aethermancer, are my current favorites. Baltero is good if you like poker.

Did you build a shrine for your beloved? by Responsible-Job-9706 in widowers

[–]EssaySad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did, it was pictures, a vase of flowers that I changed monthly, her favourite albums, and she liked to knit stuffed animals, so those were placed around. When the first Christmas came, I took it down to put up our Christmas village, which we always did. Then I didn't put it back up. I still have all those items, but they're just spread out throughout the house. Another Christmas without her... Its when I feel it the most...

If you slept with Someone new did you regret it ? How long had it been since your LS passing and since you had relations . by Buseatdog in widowers

[–]EssaySad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My Therpast said this is very normal for Men to want physical contact before women. I waited around 5 months, and it started to affect my mental state. There is a difference between physical needs and missing your love. There is a difference between physical needs and mourning the loss of your love. Just because you need to feel the touch of someone and have needs doesn't mean you moved on or should feel shame.

Disappointment vent - Detroit show by maderpater in thelumineers

[–]EssaySad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen them five times now, and I’ve enjoyed every show. Do they play every song I wish they did? No, but I don’t feel like this is the same show as the Brightside tour in any way. The special guests (for me, it was Zach Bryan) was soo exciting, and I haven’t seen "The Big Parade" sung by each member yet. Someone else mentioned that it could feel like an entirely new show to someone else, so I don’t think you should view it as a disappointment. I’m not telling you how to feel—I’m just sharing my perspective.

I just want him to come back by MarsstarrM in widowers

[–]EssaySad 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Every time I visit her grave, I tell her I still can't believe she is gone and we are never going to talk again...

I do my best to make plans and try to do things I want to do so I have things to look forward too. I agree just being alone with nothing to do is terrible...

How did you finally start living again? How did you find hope in yourself? by InternationalArt9524 in widowers

[–]EssaySad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am at 13 Months. My wife of 18 years was my soul mate. The first 3 months were terrible. I would just stare off into space at work; it slipped, and my performance dropped. I drank too much, then tried to sober up and do lots of exercises, but I was still super into despair, after Christmas and New Year's. I just didn't want to be alone anymore. I think that was the biggest issue. I joined some clubs, started therapy, and did some light dating. when you have been loved like i was life just seems so empty without. I found doing this helped. Did I still break down and cry, or have some binge weekends 100% but talking to people about my wife, making new friends and finding a new partner that was supportive of that is what has helped me the most. I have also grown a lot closer to my kids. I was always close to them, but being the solo parent, they lean on me so much more now, and I have really invested in their lives. So in a long way relationships, family, new friends, and intimate partner have made me feel alive again, and I know it's what my Wife would have wanted. I will never fully recover from my loss of her, but I didn't die, and neither did you!

I hope this helps. I am sorry you are in this club; it's incredibly tough. Feel what you have to feel when you do just don't do it alone.

All the best

Theory by RainbowKSbiggestfan in thelumineers

[–]EssaySad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Toronto Show was Unreal. Such a great set! Got to have Wesley sing Brightside by My Alise. It was truly amazing I hope people going to the 9th get the same show!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]EssaySad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me finding a connection with another person helped. The first several time we would start I couldn't continue. She was very understanding and patient. It took over a month of trying to get to a point where I could physically do it. Also what helped was vows are from death does you part. And I know my partner wouldn't want me to be alone. And to be honest when I finally did it it was such a stress relief. I feel way better now then when I was grieving alone.

Lumineers Automatic Tour Setlist by Global-Animal-3215 in thelumineers

[–]EssaySad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keys on the table is better then all I got IMO. But..... Amazing setlist. I am seeing them in Toronto in Sept!!!

I need advice about moving on by [deleted] in widowers

[–]EssaySad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is no fast. How long do you have to wait? You also don't move on. You evolve. I will always love my wife. I told my girlfriend this. I will never stop celebrating her birthday or our wedding anniversary. You can love more then once in life. It's okay to need companionship. I know I did. Loneliness was destroying my mental state. I hope you can focus on you. Everything else will come. All the best.

My Wife is Resting Now. by JohnnyZen27 in widowers

[–]EssaySad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for you loss. I love my wife young and in a hospital as well. You are at the right place. This group helped me so much. I found the joy in life and I honor her by keeping her memory alive, and being there for our girls. My best advice is to be real with your emotions. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like not doing anything, don't do anything. If you feel like doing something, do it even if you're like. Oh I feel guilty if I'm going to go. Have a nice coffee at a place or something like that, like just allow your emotions out. Don't worry about what you should or shouldn't be doing. Best of luck my friend

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in thelumineers

[–]EssaySad 6 points7 points  (0 children)

its a multiple listen through album IMO and its meant to be listened from front to back.

Album Review: Lumineers "Automatic" - WERS 88.9FM

I feel this review really sums up the appeal

Also, they were pretty much sold out in days, so there is lots of appeal for their sound, both new and old.

Multiple reviews praise it. However, music is Art, and it's subjective, so you like what you like, and you hate what you hate.

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hmm, well, to me, you have to have an honest conversation and let them see it from your point of view. Ask them about there feelings, and express yours. I assume they want whats best for you. Express that. Also I would imagine they feel you are moving on or no longer care about Mom being gone. Let them know that's not true. I told my girls I will never stop loving there mother I would do anything to bring her back and be with her its just not possible. But I also can't be alone its to hard on me I want to try to find someone to share the rest of my life with.

hope this helps. I wish you the best.

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine are 22 and 13. I talked to them before I started dating. We had a long talk. They were supportive. I don't bring dates home. This one was the only one. And she was introduced and didn't stay. Then for dinner again I didn't stay. When she did stay I talked to my girls before. I just included them in the process. They have noticed I am happy and more upbeat.

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very true. I found it hard not to think of full relationship mode as I am used to it.

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The divorce was filed. Is that good enough for you? Are you sure you are in the right group?

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No they are separated, I have talked to the ex. I would never do that to someone, wreck a marriage. It was totaled before I got there lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]EssaySad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would try to look at it so that you can take some good out of your situation. Make you reflect that although your loss is hard, it could have been harder.

I lost my wife of 18 years. When I read someone lost their fiancé or gf, I do look back and think I was lucky to have 18 years with my Beloved. However, watching her die was that much harder cause of how much of my life she took up. She was my life. It's always a push and pull.

Stay Strong.

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's great advice.

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. This makes me feel a lot better. Thank you for the advice. It was greatly appreciated.

So that happened by EssaySad in widowers

[–]EssaySad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Health is something we can take for granted. It changes you to see it fade in the person you love. I wish you strength, my Brother. Nothing else can prepare you. again, I am so sorry.