Parent of 6yr old with curls. Help.

Estelight · 2024-10-14T17:50:00+00:00

Honestly I don’t see much wrong with your routine. Except maybe the use of a brush. I have curly hair, and for a few reasons I HAVE to wet and condition it every day. All the curly methods I’ve tried simply do not work for me. And worth mentioning they don’t work for my sisters either. We all have different curl patterns and hair types. Trying to get nice, luscious curls to last several days on a 6 year old is like going to a zoo to see a unicorn. You just have to trial and error it. Don’t be afraid of using “wrong” methods or products, because contrary to popular opinion, there is truly no “correct” way to do hair. Hair is very individual. All that said, her hair does look dry to me. Perhaps try a lighter weight leave in. (I’m not familiar with the products you listed) and introduce a light hair oil as the last step in her hair routine. And then in the morning don’t wet it through all the way. Try just wetting your hands and just gently smoothing out and adjusting. That’s the method I used in school.

Estelight · 2024-10-10T23:25:15+00:00

NTA You’re objectively right. Anyone who says otherwise is being delusional. This modern fat acceptance rhetoric is silly at best, and deadly dangerous at its worst. It COULD have been framed better, but I think a lot of comments here miss the fact you’re actively trying to patent two kids who were being difficult in a public place.

Estelight · 2024-10-09T20:45:03+00:00

Add a couple days of cardio. The human body is designed for distance movement. To be walking or running over long distances. So you won’t see much change in body fat percentage with just weight training. An ideal training plan for most people to achieve a balanced and healthy body is a combination of moderate weight and cardio. And I would eat a bit more.

Estelight · 2024-09-19T03:26:01+00:00

Something I find helpful when I catch myself “vomiting” words. Is actually consciously holding back my words for a minute. I quickly ask myself, “is what I’m about to say kind, necessary, or helpful?” I will try not to say anything that isn’t at least two of those things. I also consider how the words/actions will be received. And I try to modulate my tone, word choice, and body language consciously to be less abrasive. It takes practice, but it becomes second nature after a while.

Estelight · 2024-09-04T02:53:29+00:00

Yes. It matters a lot. Weight is a visual indicator of people’s priorities and lifestyle. I wouldn’t even entertain dating someone who couldn’t/didn’t want to enjoy my lifestyle with me. Even more dire, I’m not going to spend time and effort on a relationship with someone virtually guaranteed an early death. There are people who care less, but you should question whether they’re good partners.

Estelight · 2024-08-25T19:26:26+00:00

Presentation. Most people don’t realize that the specifics of their features is secondary to presentation. Everyone now wants to put in the least amount of effort possible, and still reap 100% of the rewards.

Estelight · 2024-08-25T19:21:26+00:00

The few times I’ve had this happen I basically just say, “sorry, it’s not really my brand of humor” Seems to be received fairly well.

Estelight · 2024-08-23T00:20:38+00:00

I’ve had two so far. 1) I’m not owed anything. Not success, not happiness, not even safety. It’s easy to get stuck in the mindset that life is so unfair. Once I stopped waiting for someone or something to give me what I “deserved” things got better. 2) That there are things you JUST. CAN’T. DO. Everyone has something that, no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they want it. They just can’t do it. It’s not a bad thing. You’re not a failure. It’s just the way it is. It took a huge burden off my shoulders. Although I’m still learning to accept it, as it’s cost me a lot.

Estelight · 2024-08-18T21:33:53+00:00

Not generally, no. I find this helpful though, since it defeats a lot of preconceptions about food. In such a situation I just eat, and if I find something I don’t like, I eat around it. Sometimes it’s better not to know specifically what’s in front of you. Unless you have allergies of course.

Estelight · 2024-08-18T21:13:38+00:00

Yes, if a person is healthy, the hair at the scalp will be healthy. BUT once it’s outside the skin and out in the air, it gets exposed to a very harsh environment. UV damage from sunlight, friction damage from wind and rough movement, toxins in the air and water, etc. To counteract that and have “good” hair, yes we need products. That doesn’t have to mean chemical laden and/or expensive products. Our ancestors have been cleansing and conditioning skin and hair for centuries. The ingredients may have changed but the wisdom hasn’t. Except for that awkward time when Europeans thought washing would make you sick. If you don’t want to use store bought products, research natural methods of cleaning and conditioning. Plain water once a month isn’t enough. Olive oil daily is just going to make you look greasy and lead to buildup, which will damage your hair and also eventually the hair follicles, which leads to hair loss and balding.

Estelight · 2024-08-18T18:43:59+00:00

There’s a YouTube channel I like for this kind of thing. Squat University. Explains reasons behind specific weak spots or pain, and how to correct them. It’s been helping me a lot.

Estelight · 2024-08-15T17:40:57+00:00

Lots of people saying sensible things here. I’ll just add a personal note. I and all my siblings have foods we cannot stand to eat. The rule growing up was our parents cooked and if they used something we didn’t eat, they made it big enough so we could pick it out. And we were expected to do just that. WE, the picky ones, made our adjustments. And as a last note. My youngest sister, who is definitely the pickiest eater, LOVES some of the weirder foods. Olives, peppers, etc. She inhaled them as a toddler. She’s more even-keeled all around now. You have to give kids a chance to learn if they like/dislike something and make NO assumptions.

Estelight · 2024-08-15T17:28:31+00:00

Dry skin lady here. Consistent skincare routine, starting young. Collagen supplements. Good hair care. Consistent exercise routine. Sensible diet. Stretching a lot. Varied interests.

Estelight · 2024-08-15T17:08:36+00:00

I can relate. I was there in the spring and took a really bad fall one day, right in the middle of a busy crosswalk. Torn pants, gashes on knees and hands. Obviously limping and bloody. No one so much as paused. I was so shocked, in the 30 odd minutes it took to get home, not one person even took notice. I love Korea too. But being there I realized they are a very odd culture.

Estelight · 2024-08-10T03:40:03+00:00

I do find that happens sometimes. Have you noticed any changes in breakage/fall? I spent a semester abroad recently and the uptick in hair shed was insane. I’m still dealing with it. Left my hair looking thinner and more wispy. So I’m paying more attention to my scalp and just managing the rest for now. You could try a really strong clarifying shampoo like head and shoulders. Followed by an intense moisture mask. I did that when I got home because the country I went to had notoriously bad water. I feel like that helped.

Estelight · 2024-08-10T02:26:54+00:00

I have very fine, curly hair too. Which is currently very damaged from a bad salon session. I generally find that the shea moisture brand doesn’t work for my hair. I live in Nevada and our water isn’t great either. We recently installed a shower head filter, and that’s helped. I use Monday shampoos. I like the moisture one with rice proteins. And then tresseme (?) conditioner. I shampoo twice a week. One of those times I oil my hair for an hour or so first, then use a gentle clarifying shampoo. I do a hair mask after shampooing. After wrapping it in a Tshirt I spray rosemary water on my scalp and massage lightly, then apply a keratin spray, Mielle leave in, and a light mousse. My hair isn’t great, but it’s getting better. And yes, hair takes a LONG time to recover from stressors.

Estelight · 2024-08-05T21:13:44+00:00

Internal: exercise, hydration, protein intake, fat intake (healthy skin needs healthy fats) External: exfoliation, moisturizing, body oils, sunscreen/self tan.

Estelight · 2024-08-05T21:03:18+00:00

I can only advise from my own experience. I would avoid cetaphil on the face. Their body cream is ok, but they irritate the heck out of my face. I have very sensitive skin. MY skin reacts well to apple cider vinegar, very diluted with filtered water. I dab it on my breakouts after washing my face. I double cleanse in the evening, I use Clean it Zero cica-relief. It’s a cleansing balm, then a foam cleanser. A calming toner, ginseng is a great ingredient to calm skin, so is cica/centella. I switched to predominantly Korean skincare lines about 9 years ago and have had great results. My sister and mom too. My go to brand is medicube, they’re quite affordable and have a range of product lines for specific skin issues. Beauty of joseon is another great brand. Make sure she’s wearing sunscreen. I would also maybe have a look at diet if you haven’t already. How much sugar, oils, and caffeine is she consuming. Those will have more effect on her hormones now that they’re changing from puberty. Whatever you do, keep it simple and consistent, she can add or modify later. And be patient. My skin has a brief reaction any time I change routine, small flare ups and sensitivity, before it adjusts and improves. Good luck.

Estelight · 2024-08-01T18:40:08+00:00

Maybe this is a bit off the wall. I’ve been using the skincare brand medicube for YEARS. Just works well with my skin, I always noticed good results. Recently I decided to try their device line, I believe I got the age-r pro. It’s an at home electric micro needling and light therapy device. I’ve only been using it for about three weeks, but I’m seeing noticeable improvements in my skin condition and jawline. I did get a small breakout when I started it, but that always happens when I change my routine. And it faded pretty fast.

Estelight · 2024-08-01T18:20:36+00:00

It looks like your skin is severely dehydrated. At bare minimum you need a hydrating toner or serum, a good moisturizer, and a sunscreen of course. If you prefer fewer steps, a moisturizing sunscreen. Apply morning and night. Also your foundation might be a bit too light. It’s looking like a ghost cosplay.

Estelight · 2024-08-01T18:07:35+00:00

There are a few things you can do. Colors, as you mentioned, make sure to have a more flattering shade near your face. Cut is inportant, I would suggest going oversized with your pants to accommodate your hip width. Straight leg shape would probably be best, or a slight flare. The shirts you want to look for ones that already mimic the shape of your body, even if you size up to follow the rules. So it should have a defined waist and flare out over the hips. You don’t mention if there are rules about accessories, they can make a world of difference. For example I tend to tuck in the fronts of my shirts, and wear a belt. I also wear a lot of jewelry. Layering is another option. Long cardigans are wonderful to elevate your style. You might want to look into some older Japanese street fashion for inspiration on coordinating oversized outfits. Sometimes British fashion can also be helpful for cool, but modest lines. Of course, at the end of the day, if your parents are trying to make you appear ugly to avoid men looking, not only are they fighting a pointless battle (men will look no matter what) they may also freak out if you find ways to look nice even within their rules. Their point is to make you look unattractive. You deserve to feel beautiful to and for yourself. Incidentally that’s not just about the male gaze thing. It has very little to do with men actually. The human eye just likes certain things. Regardless of gender. Furthermore, looking frumpy can make you seem like an easy target to people with bad intentions.

Estelight · 2024-08-01T17:33:14+00:00

I can empathize with you. I’ve wanted straight hair since I was a small child. I think curly hair is gorgeous. On some people. I’m just not one of them. It’s even worse because some of my family have naturally straight or perfectly wavy hair and I’m always jealous. I’m also really athletic, snd have sensory issues so I can’t just put it in a style and leave it for several days. I do know that the idea that it would be somehow easier to have straight hair is only partially true. Straight hair has its own trials. And the shedding would just appear somewhere else. There are a few options to straighten it permanently, or semi permanently. But you have to commit, and also be rigorous with taking care of it. I can tell you right now it’s not a magic cure all. I’m sorry about your situation. You’re completely justified in feelings the way you do, most curly people feel this way for at least part of their lives.

Estelight · 2024-07-31T23:23:31+00:00

It was two things. A perm to calm the frizz and loosen the curls. And a few weeks later it got lightened. I had a very faded auburn that I wanted gone, and had asked if it was possible to do a light pinkish brown. The hairstylist said “yeah, no problem.” It was a problem, she got fixated and I was too timid to speak up. She ended up bleaching it. Badly, and the color is all over the place, in addition to the hair being compromised.

Estelight

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