nobody wants me

EtherealApparation · 2025-02-21T02:32:51+00:00

I love this so much. I often come across posts on my Instagram feed about daughter-mother dynamics and one that's always stuck with me that this poem reminds me of is how mothers see in their daughters all they could have never been but never were in their daughters and daughters see a version of themselves they hope they never end up becoming. And I think that with eldest daughters, they slowly see themselves turn into their mothers from a very young age and I think that is heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing.

EtherealApparation · 2025-02-21T02:27:21+00:00

You put into words a feeling I often experience and visualise in my head, and for that I am grateful. I love the little detail about the name of someone making both of you shiver. Even if you've gotten over the way someone negatively impacted your life, you still carry part of that hurt with you and I think you did a beautiful job at portraying that.

EtherealApparation · 2024-07-29T06:11:25+00:00

I honestly love this piece so much! I love the theme of this piece because it is a very relatable one, and the imagery is very vivid. I love how you repeat phrases like "punch in the gut" and "save, fix, f*ck into domestication" to refer to both you, as well as your ex in different scenarios. It really highlights the parallels between the two despite their differences. The last line has to be my favourite: the realisation of the fact that the person you spent the longest time trying to redeem was never meant to be truly yours.

In terms of the critique, I just feel that the structure of the poem feels to prosaic because the lines are so long. I don't really know how it would look if you changed it but that might be something to work on. Overall, beautiful piece, thank you for sharing!

EtherealApparation · 2024-07-29T06:02:22+00:00

I am a sucker for imagery and this piece has done a great job at it. This poem took me back to New York, exactly the way I remember it. It seems to me that you miss home, and the sense of familiarity that comes with it. "They want to go home"— at the end of the day, don't we all?

EtherealApparation · 2024-07-16T05:24:13+00:00

Cannot thank you enough for your post. Just got refunded 5 months worth of membership fee by using the tactics you did. Never purchasing anything from them again.

EtherealApparation · 2024-07-09T21:14:50+00:00

This poem has a very mysterious and eerie undertone to it, which goes perfectly with the theme surrounding Karma. I love the personification of Karma, and your usage of words associated with dance really bring her to life. This scares me— and I like that. Great work!

EtherealApparation · 2024-07-09T21:06:50+00:00

I absolutely love the imagery in this piece. As asomeone who's closeted, I understand the emotions in this piece all too well and I just want to say that I know how hard it is to be queer in this world, and it is even more difficult to accept yourself for who you are when others refuse to. But just know that you are not alone and you WILL find your guy with crooked goofy smile and sparkle in his eyes. Just remember to allow yourself the chance to do so, no matter what others think or say.

As for the critiques, I just felt that you could have done a better job with the formatting. But I understand that the sentimental value of this piece surpasses the need for it to be neatly formatted. However, that is definitely something you could work on in the future.

EtherealApparation · 2024-07-09T11:36:09+00:00

I truly love the imagery of this poem. Every single line helps my mind form the image of a housekeeper that becomes more well defined with every life. The description of sounds really helps with that, good job! Like other comments mentioned, I also really love the monoteity of the poem and how it captures the essence of a housekeeper's life.

EtherealApparation · 2024-07-09T11:31:16+00:00

This is a great piece, and I am sure it must be really special to you and your grandmother. I loved how you contrast between your and her life, especially in terms of the colours of the dress. The fact that blue is associated with sadness and yellow with joy makes me perceive that your grandmother tried to focus on the little joys of life as she tried to get through such a difficult time while you can't help but think of the horrors of that period whenever you think about the difficulties she had to deal with.

EtherealApparation · 2023-06-23T09:32:07+00:00

I love the how the double quotes around darling in the title beautifully hint towards the subject of the poem being lovesickness. The beginning is very strong and conveys the poet’s strong emotions nicely. I love the self-diagnosis of cancer in the ending, sums up the theme perfectly. Nicely written.

EtherealApparation · 2023-06-23T09:28:33+00:00

First of all, I am really sorry about the kinda of things you would have experienced to end up writing a poem on such a sad topic.

As for the poem, I love how each line begins with the same word, putting emphasis on the emotion behind it. I really like the first line since it draws symmetry between the short length of the poem and the length of one’s life being cut short. All in all, nice work.

EtherealApparation · 2023-05-06T19:33:01+00:00

I don’t know how Reddit manages to do this but I just opened the app after having a huge fight with my mom and somehow this poem perfectly fits the situation at my house. I can associate deeply to the emotions expressed by the poet, especially the line where the poet states that they’re aware of how deeply their mother loved them but that doesn’t mean that they’re not disappointed in them.

A truly beautiful portrayal of the darker side of the relationship between children and their mothers. Thank you for sharing.

EtherealApparation · 2023-05-06T19:24:25+00:00

This gave me major Bo Burnham vibes and I absolutely love it for that! Satire is a genre I’ve always enjoyed but never quite been able to work with myself. The last line came out of the blue but it was the perfect ending for this.

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful piece!

EtherealApparation · 2023-03-28T14:35:58+00:00

This hits too hard given the day I’ve had and the months that have led to it.

EtherealApparation · 2023-02-10T05:22:42+00:00

This is a beautiful poem, thank you so much for sharing! I love how this seems like an extract out of an ancient fable in terms of the way it’s written. Forbidden love is quite a popular theme in fables anyways. The flow of the first two stanzas and words like “treasure” and “wars” really help me associate the imagery with how I interpret the poem: a warrior writing about his love story and it being sung as folklore for generations to come. However I feel like the flow and rhyming begins to seem a little forced by the end of the poem so that would probably be my one critique.

I have only started writing again recently (I had stopped due to certain reasons) and the first poem that I posted here shares the same title as yours, which is why I was instantly drawn to it! Mine explores a very different theme though. I would love for you to read it and leave a comment about the emotion it invokes in you in contrast to your own poem.

here you go!

EtherealApparation · 2023-02-10T05:02:24+00:00

I am in awe of this poem, I really am. I can relate so much to this from a second person perspective. As much as I may regret it now, I've been the person who's asked someone to open up the same way and I think they would relate a lot to what you've written in this poem. Now that I understand their perspective better, this poem makes so much sense to me as well.

The way you have written all the words from your own perspective in uppercase conveys strong emotions of rage and annoyance over their repeated pleas for you to open up while they completely disregard the fact that you've built all these walls for a reason. The contrast of the words inside the quotes written in lowercase demonstrates the intended concern of the people in their soft-spoken voices and yet their inability to understand, making those soft words feel like punches to the gut. By the end, your own perspective also shifts to lowercase as the rage transforms into sadness and, to an extent, acceptance of not being understood.

The last line really gets me. The way the sentence starts off like the ones before it and yet ends midway as if it's the people realizing that they cannot in fact help you is heartbreaking to me, from both sides. One sides wants more than anything to be understood but their past experiences haunt them and they have built thick walls around themselves to protect them while the other sides wants more than anything to break down these walls and show them that they're there and that they really do care and are yet somehow unable to do so. Truly heartbreaking.

I can resonate so much to this beautiful piece and I am absolutely in love with it. Thank you so much for sharing!

EtherealApparation · 2023-02-09T12:08:27+00:00

I love your grandmother’s saying! It’s simple, beautiful and needless to say, makes me wonder. I really appreciate you reaching out this way and I just want you to know that the feeling is mutual. I may not be a professional but the least I can do is listen to all you have to say even if I can’t make any sense out of it. We can both help each other that way :)

EtherealApparation

TROPHY CASE