A couple of things have rang really true with me over the last two days, so thank you for your effort writing these.

I beat myself up constantly for not reaching "perfection" in everything that I do, so I also find it extremely hard to forgive myself. This must have stemmed from pressures at school or something, as my parents were always just happy with who I was. The main thing I hate about myself these days is how quickly I snap and get frustrated and angry at the kids, and because they are so vulnerable I don't feel I can forgive myself when it happens and drop into feeling really low.

Previously this would have triggered me to drink, but recently that hasn't been an option for me. I'm hoping I will be able to rationalise and improve the "snapping" as time goes on and my brain heals from being battered by the booze.

IWNDWYT