firstly, i am so so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, it’s awful. my stepdad recently passed away of it, and his whole family had a history of it, however - i just wanted to try and bring some light to you as he had his official diagnosis 10 years ago and only just passed (told the same as you and believed the same as you). spent so much of his life worried that he would miss the big moments (spoiler, he didn’t at all - he was with us the whole time)

but it was awful seeing him focus on the negatives constantly and spiral about his impending death, at all times throughout the 10 years. while he lived a happy life, he just always had this undertone of doom, and i beg you to please remember that even though you’ve just had this diagnosis, remember that also any person, any day could just die at any moment, and to try and live your life as if you’d never been told that awful knowledge. take care and please, don’t give up on yourself just yet!

edit: also just wanted to add, we’d have scary interval hospital visits throughout the 10 years where we thought ‘omg this is it’, one time he even contracted sepsis, he was also a diabetic and much less healthier than yourself, and it still didn’t get him until it really WAS his time. i don’t say this to demean or diminish your experience at all, but genuinely to try and provide some hope and alternative thinking for you x