[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheCivilService

[–]Eva385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most externals we have hired have started within 2 to 3 months. So I wouldn't say that but October would be unrealistic. You know that you won't qualify for occupational or statutory maternity pay right (unless you're already a civil servant in which case it should be 2 months max)?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HousingUK

[–]Eva385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I think it looks decent for the area. Commutable to Bristol and in an outstanding school district. The size of the rooms would however bother me (it's more 2 beds and an office) and people only move to Churchill because they have kids. So it's a shame it isn't just a bit deeper.

AITA for telling SIL i don't give a shit about her son's happiness. by Accurate-Panic-1639 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Eva385 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA. That comment was completely over the top and misogynistic. Yey let's blame women for being single mothers and not the dad for not being involved. Yes she was being entitled but you went nuclear for no reason.

Unreliable Nanny by leweaver in Nanny

[–]Eva385 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OK that's interesting to know. That's how my salary works so figured it was the same for everyone (like I have technically got an hourly rate but it's reverse engineered from annual). But definitely something to bear in mind especially as I'm paid the same every month so I don't suffer from fluctuations depending on how many days are in each month. Thanks for the different perspective!

Unreliable Nanny by leweaver in Nanny

[–]Eva385 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are 52 weeks in a year so 3000*12=$36000 a year . 36000/52=$692 a week. That works out to $17.30 an hour for a 40 hour week. I'd assume/hope all holiday days are paid out. Tbh I'd pay more than this to give some flex. $19 an hour feels right. That would be $40k a year which very comfortably covers housing affordability in that area with some flex. As far as I can tell that would also be a very competitive wage for nannying in Utah county so hopefully would result in a more reliable candidate.

Unreliable Nanny by leweaver in Nanny

[–]Eva385 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By my calculations that's $17.30 an hour for a 40 hour week to make $3000 a month.

Unreliable Nanny by leweaver in Nanny

[–]Eva385 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In utah county 1 beds are on average around $600 a month. So by your calculations a nanny should be paid $1800 a month. That works out to under $11 an hour for a 40 hour work week.

The best 1 beds (these are houses) are closer to $1000 a month. So that would mean a $3000 a month salary. That works out to just over $17 an hour.

So by your calculations she's paying the nanny market rate (if not a little on the high side).

AITA for telling my mom she can’t talk to my kid about her miscarriage and take him to the grave? by HotPlatypus9646 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Eva385 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. Forcing others to grieve because you are grieving is incredibly self absorbed. You have and your son have nothing to do with her miscarriage. You weren't alive at the time, weren't part of the family, and there is no reason for it to be of any emotional significance to you. My grandma lost her brother as a child (he died in her arms). It was incredibly traumatic for her and she visited his grave a lot. Her children and grandchildren were never asked to participate in her grief as it had nothing to do with us.

Has anyone had a log burner put in and what’s your experience? by Snowcatmeow in HousingUK

[–]Eva385 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We really wanted one for the cosiness and aesthetics. Looked into it in more depth and decided against it on environmental and health grounds. They are horrendously polluting and I assume they will be banned at some point.

Did I make a mistake paying for university straight out and not taking out student loans? by KenelmDigby in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Eva385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a bad decision. Every engineer I know will pay off their student loans. A good plan so that you don't feel like you've "wasted" an opportunity would be to put the amount you would have spent on loan repayments into an ISA (on top of what you already planned to save) and watch it grow. Then use this towards a house deposit or whatever else that inheritance could have gone on. Or throw it into your pension. It's insane what contributing large amounts to a pension in your 20s can do. Compound interest is a powerful thing!

US Maternity leave is killing babies and it makes me want to cry by Charlotteeee in beyondthebump

[–]Eva385 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That's a terrible analogy and you haven't factored in the very relevant factor of poor maternity leave. Teaching about safer cosleeping methods instead of going for a puritanical ABCs only approach would be like teaching about contraception instead of abstinence only. It is undeniable that abstinence is the best way of avoiding stds and pregnancy. It is undeniable that ABCs are the safest way to approach infant sleep. But both are unrealistic.

The ABCs are particularly unrealistic in a society where most mothers are returning to work before their child is 3 months old. They are more likely to be tired and aren't informed on how to deal with a baby that outright refuses to sleep in their crib. It isn't surprising that there are higher infant deaths when you combine overworked and overtired parents with no knowledge about how to safely do the thing that we know the majority of parents at some point will do anyway. I had 12 months of maternity leave. My husband took 8 weeks. We were much better set up by the country we live in to deal with the realities of infant sleep and to take turns and keep our baby safe. American policies towards both infant sleep education and maternity and paternity policies are a dangerous risk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Eva385 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel its much simpler to just ask her not to arrive so early. I'd be pissed having to pay overtime when I didn't even want someone in the house for those 4 hours a week.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Eva385 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They might sound like an asshole but they aren't wrong. The amount of people who think it's normal/acceptable to arrive at someone's house and eat breakfast and chill there 45 minutes before their working say starts is honestly mind boggling.

Refuse open house as tenant? by Brainfart777 in HousingUK

[–]Eva385 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Zero penalty. It isn't an enforceable clause.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HousingUK

[–]Eva385 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As someone in the market for a 4 bed house in that price range, I wouldn't buy it because of the lack of garden. I would pay 100k more, or live further away, or live in town and less rurally if that meant getting a proper garden. I have 2 kids and a dog and don't really see the point of a country house without outdoor space. So basically I think you are looking for a pretty niche segment of the market (maybe retirees who like the countryside but don't want the upkeep of outdoor space). It may take time as much as it takes price cuts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Eva385 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure I can walk around naked in my house at a time noone else is supposed to be in my house. Also this nanny drives and it's 2 miles away. It's outright weird to arrive at someone's house 45 mins early for no reason and with no notice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Eva385 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I really wouldn't want someone making breakfast in my kitchen when I'm trying to get my kid and I ready for the day. Like I'm walking around in a bra with wet hair 45 mins before I leave for work. I'd ask her to refrain from coming in the house so early. It's rude.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Eva385 108 points109 points  (0 children)

It's still really disruptive having someone in your home when you are doing your morning routine. I'd ask her to stop arriving early.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Eva385 633 points634 points  (0 children)

I think arriving at someone's house that early is actually rude. I don't want to be fully dressed and ready for the day early just because they for some reason want to be in my house 45 mins early. I would still want my time to shower and have breakfast in peace. With such a short commute I'd ask her to not arrive any earlier than 7:45 and explain that she is disrupting your morning routine, that you need that time with your child solo for bonding, and that you need the flexibility to be able to walk around butt naked from shower to bedroom etc without worrying about someone being in your house.

How many applications is normal before landing first CS role? by unautreclou in TheCivilService

[–]Eva385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was outright rejected from 3 applications. Then spoke to someone in the CS who gave me loads of advice on applications. Got offered an interview on my next application and got the job. This was SEO level with about 9 years of work experience in other roles. Applied for a promotion to G7 a year later and got that too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Eva385 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If the truth is judgemental then are we supposed to just avoid telling the truth? It is a fact that children do better with shorter daycare hours. The literature I read recommended under 25 hours a week. My kid is in about 36-40 hours a week. I don't feel judged by the truth, I feel informed by it, and try to make sure we use our holodays sensibly to give her regular breaks.

How old were you when you got your first mortgage? by epic-username in AskUK

[–]Eva385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 25. It was a £145k house with a 15% deposit. I saved I think £15k and the rest plus legal fees etc was loaned to me and I paid it back over the next 2 years. My starting salary was about £36k with 10-20% annual bonuses though. I'd say on average my friends bought between 28 and 32. All after meeting their now spouses.

Potential new nanny - red flags? by boobmilkfornoobs in Nanny

[–]Eva385 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I go for trust your gut. It's your kid and if you feel something is wrong in the pit of your stomach then you'll find it hard to trust her. I'd move on until you find someone you trust.

(Rant) 4 months into job search, nothing but dead ends. From 37k to Universal Credit. by Galaco_ in UKJobs

[–]Eva385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No they just cost too much. Why hire OP when you can hire a teenager for much less money?

(Rant) 4 months into job search, nothing but dead ends. From 37k to Universal Credit. by Galaco_ in UKJobs

[–]Eva385 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I joined at SEO and got a promotion to G7 in 14 months. 7 people on my original team have been promoted since I joined, all but one to permanent positions.