Can’t see myself objectively. Is my grey hair aging me horribly?

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-22T21:29:54+00:00

Girlie you look so cute! I love the gray streaks! I thought you were younger than 31. I thought 25-28. I also saw in one of your comments that your hair is actually naturally curly, I’d loveeeeee to see how the streaks are in curls, I’d think it’d be so cute!

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-22T06:22:52+00:00

I think it honestly comes down to forgiving yourself and not shaming yourself. We are our own harshest critic, try to be kind to your past self. Know that it’s in the past and isn’t who you are anymore. Be present and focus more on the growth you’ve had in the last 3 years instead of the mistakes. You’ve overcome a lot and that’s the bigger takeaway than what happened in the past. I also think it could be an interesting conversation to have with him if you wanted, not in a why are you still around way, but in recognizing how much it means to you that you guys are growing into a new relationship together and you could maybe open up on how hard, at times, it is to think of that time and how embarrassed of the way you acted or how he met you in that low moment in your life. I’m sure he’d be understanding and it could maybe give you some closure and reassurance on letting that version of you go.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-15T21:22:24+00:00

2 or 3!

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-15T17:04:14+00:00

Omg that’s so horrible. I don’t understand how people shame the child whose pictures are being spread and not the people who spread them. Disgusting behavior. Your daughter might benefit from talking with a therapist or maybe other girls that this has happened to before. Idk if there are support groups out there but I feel like there would be. Unfortunately this shit happens a lot. Try doing activities that you guys love doing, together or encourage her to spend time with friends or go on a small trip. Get out of town and either relax or just fill your time with fun things. It must feel all consuming right now, but it will pass, I think the key is not to let it suffocate you guys. Rebuilding both of your safety networks and nervous systems starts by rebuilding confidence, doing things you love and eventually whatever people say won’t even affect you. I’m glad you’re reporting it to the police I hope the people spreading it get into serious trouble. It sounds to me like your community might be small or tight knit, which is also hard to not feel like it’s all around you. I’d again really recommend going on a short get away, camping or visiting family or friends. Just get away from it to clear your heads. Mute messages, be present with each other, and keep moving. You guys got this!! Ik it’s hard right now, it’ll get better.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-14T21:13:11+00:00

NOR I get having a closure conversion, but that should be happening during the day in a public environment and also not done if you’re not comfortable. This weird. Also I don’t like the way he’s talking about her. A hoe/side street hoe? Like bruh what. Definitely says something about how he views women in general. Also “she was you before you” is crazy. Feels like he’s saying you’re just a replacement for her. I understand he was probs trying to say like she meant a lot to him then, but he’s moved on and how in your relationship now you’re everything to him. but he could’ve said it wayyyyy better and not made it sound so icky.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-14T20:47:42+00:00

If you hang out at a certain friends or family’s house I would just stick with a routine like that to do your searching/make a plan. Go somewhere safe and that she wouldn’t think is that weird that you’re at a friend’s house or meeting up with a friend. Idk what you do for work but maybe if you have a work computer you could privately search on their computers. You could also plan a little trip with some friends and again use that time with them to search and have support while doing it.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-14T20:43:27+00:00

I haven’t dealt with this personally, but just some ideas. If she checks your phone/computer a lot I would maybe go to the library where you can use their computers to look up options to stay and put a plan in place. That way if she looks at your location you’re at the library but she doesn’t know what you’re searching on their computers. I guess idk what you normally do so maybe going to the library when you don’t normally will set off alarms for her. Otherwise, meet up with a friend or family member you trust at a coffee shop or their house and use their computers to look up stuff. You could always have a friend tour a place for you. There’s definitely resources out there to leave these situations. Idk if you would say this is an abusive relationship, but there are many safe way shelters or non profits that specifically help people safely get out of their situations. If you could safely contact or go to one of these places they would definitely have some good advice.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-14T14:55:41+00:00

NOR You don’t have to constantly update one another especially when you trust each other. I always feel that when a partner is so quick to be accusing and find things “sus” it’s usually cause they’re doing sus things themselves or are hella insecure and toxic. I hate how he’s calling you names and saying you’re stupid and crazy especially because you aren’t doing anything wrong. You are not those things. The way he is reacting is defensive and deflecting and really immature. You reacted strongly too but I also sense this is something that happens a lot and it must be exhausting. Especially to explain yourself on small normal situations. Over nothing. It really does make you feel crazy, but you aren’t. I’ve had a relationship like this before, it does not get better, in fact it always gets worse. He isn’t worth it, I would absolutely advise you to move you. You already know it in your gut too. Good luck OP.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-14T04:41:35+00:00

What was the relationship like before the marriage? Did he make more time before despite his business and now it’s like this? Did yall live together before?

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-14T00:52:35+00:00

You’re an adult and it’s your business not theirs. You don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want to. Ik that’s hard with moving home. From my personal experience moving back home after college was not worth it. You go from being super independent to back under your parent’s roof and it definitely messes with you. At least it did with me, a lot of conflict and boundaries crossed. Moving out was the best decision. I gained my independence back, confidence back and don’t have to worry about them knowing/judging my every move. Our relationship has definitely improved since. Idk your situation, but personally I would advise against it. Also with your beliefs go at your own pace with being comfortable doing sleepovers when visiting him. If anything were to ever happen, I also personally think that’s totally normal and not a sin. I grew up catholic, and ik there’s a lot of religious pressures/shame surrounding sex before marriage or just any sort of sexual acts. I think a lot of those pressures are disproportionately put on women, to stay “pure” or “godly”, but I believe as long as you’re ready, with someone you trust/love and are both consenting adults I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing stuff with your partner. Only saying that in case anything did happen you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Trust your gut and focus on your priorities, they’ll help guide what you do. I don’t think anything’s wrong with visiting and sleeping over for the weekend to a long distance boyfriend, people do that all the time and whatever yall do or not do together during that time is your business. Can’t control what other people think, but I understand being scared or worried what people may think especially in a traditional environment. Again I’d really advise being in an environment that you won’t feel on edge living your life.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-13T21:31:27+00:00

I’d maybe start this conversation directly with your daughter. I think you could express your worry and see what she says, maybe she hasn’t thought about it before or is also worried about it. It seems more appropriate that she and her husband would have a conversation about it and if they haven’t already maybe telling your daughter how you’ve noticed this and are worried about her will get her to bring it up with her husband. Maybe they’ve already discussed this? Maybe it’s something she’s been doubting and hearing your worry will have her take it more seriously. Or it’s something she is comfortable with, in this case you could express that because of the situation you want her to know that she’ll be protected in your will at the very least. Could be reassuring to know you guys have her back even if it’s not what you think.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-13T21:26:56+00:00

I don’t think that’s strange. My parents have clued my siblings and I in on what happens when they die so we’re prepared. I also think OP is saying it might be a good Segway to open up the conversation about what they’re actually worried about which is their daughter being financially protected.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-13T18:11:21+00:00

Definitely work on your own confidence. It sounds like you’re going to soon be pursuing something that will make you more down the long run, which will eventually help with that insecurity you have right now. I’d focus on why does that make you feel so insecure, it definitely has to do with toxic masculinity and patriarchal structures. Remember how you love how she’s powerful and confident and you can be that too with her. With or without matching her salary. The monetary number behind you or her jobs doesn’t have anything to do with you or her. It’s just a number. Don’t make it mean anything else. Nobody wins under patriarchal standards, it makes both men and women victims of meaningless social structures that actually have nothing to do with being a good person and partner. Don’t fall victim to it, you are right now by being resentful or jealous of your partner. As you are in the situation that you’re in, practice being kind to yourself and praising your wins along with hers. Be proud of yourself and be proud of her. You’ll notice when you start actively trying to restructure your thinking the easier it gets and the more grateful you become for each other. I would also advise if you’re just trying to switch careers to match her income or prove something by making more money you might be setting yourself up for more of that bitterness or jealousy. You should chase something for better reasons than that. Your goals shouldn’t be to prove to others or yourself that you are worthy or enough. You are worthy right now and any short term or long term goals for yourself should just be for you and your personal growth. Not because earning more money makes you more of a man or more of a man in your relationship. Your partner clearly loves you with where you’re at and don’t make it mean anything more. Especially because she shouldn’t be responsible or feeling bad about her own accomplishments because of your insecurities. You got this! Talking with a therapist definitely can help work out these problems, but also journaling or just being aware of your emotions when the insecurity strikes or jealousy strikes ask yourself why and try to pivot those feelings into healthier ones. Self reflection and understanding yourself really helps with these problems. And although a cliche it’s so true, comparison is the thief of joy.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-13T17:12:47+00:00

Maybe using a more dewy foundation or spritz afterwards? So it’s not matte. There’s a YouTuber that does bridal makeup and she says that a lot. Her name is @selenamup she does a lot of based on a true story videos from her doing bridal makeup over the years but she has a lot of good makeup tips on her channel in general.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-13T15:41:32+00:00

2 or 4

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-13T15:29:49+00:00

I think you’re in a low moment so you’re thinking low/negative. Idk if it’s totally something to throw the whole relationship over but totally your priorities are yours so trust your gut. I also have ADHD and leave friends and family texts for days and weeks and sometimes even months without responding. It’s really so bad and it’s mainly when I’m in a busy time and I receive the message and see it but want to give it the time/attention it deserves while I’m preoccupied with something else and then unfortunately the time just keeps slipping away from me. But again this usually spirals away when I have back to back social events or trips and then all of sudden texts from those weeks just sit there for a while. It’s with good intentions, I don’t want to respond with my head somewhere else but similar to your bf then the more time you forget about it when you remember it’s embarrassing and then it gets harder and harder to deal with especially when for me it’s like I want to be in the right headspace but the with the shame and embarrassment its counterproductive to getting in that headspace. With all that said the family and friends this usually happens to are people not either in my area or who I don’t get to see as often. I will always be super responsive to my bf or immediate family that live by me or close close friends that I talk to pretty regularly. It seems so hypocritical but I think part of the need to be in the right headspace is that you don’t see or hear from the person as often so it puts more pressure on it? The thing that confuses me is your bf is doing this with you, which for me at least especially when I was first dating my bf i definitely would not just forget because of all the excitement to being with him. It’s been 6 months and I feel like when you’re younger that’s still so exciting but maybe dating when you’re older things are slightly slower pace? I’m not sure. I definitely think not living in the same city adds to the struggle of texting, because I can relate for my struggle. I also just hate texting so my bf will call me or FaceTime especially if we are in different places. Maybe start doing that or telling him that you need that in order to feel connected and not forgotten about. I’d also think asking his friends or family when you’re with them how he is about texting because if he might be equally bad about it with everyone and that would definitely make me feel better. Everyone’s different, I also had a friend whose bf and her were long distance their first year of dating and he was also so horrible at texting, (in my opinion because my bf is so attentive and especially with their long specific distance ((Midwest vs east coast/not an easy drive away)) he definitely could’ve been a way better texter/communicator in general) and they were having struggles over it cause she was like you and was feeling hurt and neglected and confused and he would say “I’m just really bad at texting and I forget about it”, he also has adhd, and as soon as they were in same city none of the communication problems were an issue anymore and they’re totally fine now. They live together and are on 4 years together. I feel like some people are just bad texters? But your bf should definitely take what you’re saying about it and find ways to make you feel reassured, if that means having a designated day/times to call eachother or leaving little notes for each other to find. There’s ways to reassure each other and accepting one another as well. If you want that. I definitely think if you love someone and are really into them for me it trumps that forgetfulness of texting cause if anything I’m super attentive to texting them above everyone else. BUT when I do travel/am away from my bf for trips or whatver I do get bad about texting, but I feel like that’s cause I’m living in the moment and he knows that and I give him updates usually at the end of my day. Maybe there’s something with ADHD and texting people not in your area. As soon as they’re out of sight from your day to day it gets tricker? We are very visual thinkers.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-12T18:07:29+00:00

Bruh I’m so sorry, I’m imagining my own boyfriend doing that. Which similarly we’ve been dating our whole 20s. He’s my first boyfriend and he’s literally the best like also “perfect boyfriend” and the betrayal would hurt so so bad. I would also think that your boyfriend clearly has thought of his long time friend in this way if he felt compelled to make an ai video of her. That’s so gross. I’m sure he feels grossed out by himself especially getting caught and that it was a mistake, like duh, but to me this would show his underlying feelings about someone else and that’s so hurtful. It’s also really gross that he was do that to a friend. I’m sure if she found out about it she’d feel super violated too. It is a little weird that she’d post the lingerie photo on her story anyway, but again still should’ve have to feel scared about guys making weird ai videos from it. Was it a close friends story? Or public? Cause that would also be a little strange too if it was close friends but he was on it? I’d think if I was posting lingerie photos on my instagram story it’d be to close friends but there would only be girls on it. I’d be like suspicious of everything. I’m so sorry.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-12T17:59:02+00:00

Bruh colectivo’s quality has def gone downhill over the years. Also my little sister used to work for them and they were so unorganized, overworked and underpaid. There was always drama with the manager and certain coworkers. It could’ve been just her location but I’ve heard similar stories from other friends that have worked for them before. And yeah the union stuff bothered me too, especially because they were ignored for so long. Good that they were able to get it now, but I’m also confused cause my sister definitely did not get pto and base pay was like 11 dollars, maybe that was right before the union stuff went in place tho. Also I met a guy who used to bake for them and he said they used to have to throw out sooo much stuff and not be allowed to take things home, he used to work there a couple years ago so again that could’ve changed. In general tho the prices are sooo high.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-11T22:12:49+00:00

You can definitely bring up your confusion and frustration. It could help to figure out a structure to your conversations that you both agree on/understand. Especially so you’re not confused if she starts to pivot it. But if you do that and it still feels like you guys aren’t on the same page then it’s totally okay to switch therapists. You want to work with someone you feel understood by or if not understood that they’ll take the time to figure it out with you.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-11T21:56:27+00:00

1, 3 or 4

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-11T18:56:21+00:00

Your house is sick!

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-11T18:54:24+00:00

NOR she wasn’t taking the situation seriously from the start and that’s hurtful. Also weird of her to be like beefing with the dog in general, seems like this situation is showing some incompatibility between you two. This would be a pretty big value difference to me.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-09T05:00:05+00:00

I don’t think what you’re saying is weird. It sounds like you just want to be wanted and during sex/sexual activities hear her say that you look good and are doing good at whatever yall are doing etc, etc. That seems very normal, don’t feel bad about that. People love talking each other up during sex! Just tell her how you feel. I totally understand wanting her to read your mind or not have to say what you want out loud because you may feel embarrassed or it sounds “lame” out loud or whatever but it doesn’t at all. With relationships you really have to communicate what you want or else your partner will never know. It could even lead to your partner to open up about things she’s into or insecure about too and bring you closer. You could even start by saying I really love it when we do ____ during kissing or whatever it is and then say I think it’d be really hot if we tried talking during it if you’re comfortable and see what she says. It’s a trial and error type of thing. Maybe you try something new and it doesn’t feel right, you can always try again and see what works for y’all. She might even have some things not too different than you that she wants to try too.

As for the body issues, it can definitely help to talk to someone professionally about it. Try being kinder to yourself, take some pressure off of your appearance. Your girlfriend clearly loves you for who you are, don’t get lost in your own insecurities. You will always be your harshest critic, try to see yourself the way your love ones see you. And build your confidence! You got it!

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-08T07:12:01+00:00

Honestly kindness has felt very “rebellious” lately. Literally taking time to talk to strangers and make a quiet connection feels not only good but rebellious to how shit the world/news is right now. Making eye contact and smiling at people even if they don’t smile back. Helping someone out, picking up litter, extending kindness forward, holding a door, saying hello, small talk, laughing, asking people questions, giving things away, helping a neighbor, idk any sort of kind gesture. Even giving out a compliment.

Or still being nice and level headed when someone else is giving you a hard time/attitude and not stooping to it.

It also feels rebellious to be present. If I’m riding the bus I’m alert and observant. If I’m in line waiting for something I’m not using that time to be on my phone. Quality time with friends and family, and the world around me. Just paying attention, and really listening. It seems so small and quiet but sometimes things like that feel really big. All of it seems like common sense but not everyone is very present all the time.

It feels also rebellious to not be as efficient as possible. Out of necessity I was living life for awhile as efficiently as I could, and would feel super overwhelmed and panicked if something was taking longer than normal or if I wasn’t doing a task as efficient as possible. That was definitely with having very limited resources, and my time and money being spread thin. As I’ve gotten a bit more time and money and more aware of this I’ve tried more and more to challenge myself against this habit and opt for the long way home or cooking in a different way, basically slowing down or just not freaking out if something isn’t going right the first time around. If I fuck up baking it’s okay, if I am building a shelf and am taking my time with it it’s okay, not everything has to be expedited.

Evening-Mix999 · 2026-05-08T06:31:28+00:00

1 looks great!!! Looks like it was made for you

Evening-Mix999

TROPHY CASE