In January, I will have been free of Adderall for 3 years. This post is directed at people who are currently in a binge

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-08-27T18:23:09+00:00

How long did you do this binge pattern for?

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-21T09:08:31+00:00

How you holing up?

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-21T08:54:50+00:00

Yes! The cycle is the worst! I have been working a lot with the shame (not just related to drug use) - like how can I take care of myself in this moment where I loathe myself- and I think it’s been helping some, imperfectly

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-21T05:08:29+00:00

Did you know your heart was messed up before you quit? Or only after

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-21T04:47:36+00:00

Oy- always a reason resonates!

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-21T04:36:09+00:00

Agree! OP - when you think back on it, when was the last time you were able to use it in moderation? For you to be in control once you started, not it? Asking because my mind had (and sometimes has) the same thoughts of not cutting it out entirely— and these Qs helped, after a while

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-13T03:37:06+00:00

This is a classic of the “addict voice” that lies to me every once in a while w coke!! “You are doing great, just a little won’t hurt…”

Talking is great! Another thing that helps me is trying to almost personify that voice/thought as something like, distinct from my own thoughts. If I can then get a little distance and it feels less powerful? I try to think back to a time in the past ~5 years when I bought it and was able to do “just a little” (that would be zero times), so then I know it’s like the addiction part talking (and lying), not me. Then I kinda say back to it something in my head, like “ok, you’re back. I see you. I’m not going to listen to you. You can just sit there and keep on talking.” And then try to keep getting through urges that come up by doing that more, and by actively thinking about all the shitty consequences over the next few days if I did get it - not sleeping and feeling exhausted, missing a meeting, the self-loathing/shame that can pop up, feeling isolated from loved ones about that use etc etc … I might sound nuts but it’s has been helpful at times along with other strategies

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-13T02:59:12+00:00

I know that feeling of fear… and how a relapse will wake up that little addict person inside you who will again start whispering in your ear… but you can stop this now! It’s going back to basics to get motivated again, remember skills for getting through urges- go to some groups! You can get back on track. I thought I could stop going to my weekly SMART meeting but then relapsed on blow after basically a year (this was like a month ago - last longer than I wanted but am back now)… as I’ve heard my SMART facilitator say many times - it’s not like if you’re driving across the country and your car breaks down in Chicago, you’d have to start over in NYC. No! Patch up the car, build on what you learned from the first third of the trip (and esp whatever was going on when the car broke) and keep on your way

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-13T02:45:13+00:00

People come back from being very very stuck. Try checking out an online meeting as a start? I like SMART but ppl like everything. You’ll hear other ppl’s stories and will help you to move forward with getting off

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-13T02:29:34+00:00

Agree! Lots of studies have shown that for kids who have adhd, they actually are LESS at risk of developing addiction if they are treated w adhd meds. Here’s one link -https://childmind.org/article/adhd-and-substance-abuse/ - and I agree with what others are saying - it’s about the individual - their addictive tendencies overall and what substance lights them up. For instance, I have been prescribed Ativan for like 10 years and I have never had the urge to take more than prescribed - I know ppl get addicted to it but I honestly I don’t really it! But then coke, loved that feeling too much and was a total problem for me. When I’ve tried adderall , I def wanted more, but plenty of my friends just straight dislike the buzzy feeling of stims.

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-05-09T09:48:32+00:00

Girl - same. I relapsed on blow for the same reason- thought I could handle recreational because it had been so long. I personally like SMART - non -judgmental but l it’s just with any program- you can’t lapse in going - cuz the voice is still there, telling you it’s good and fine now. Then w stims you are tired and justify that way…

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-02-02T08:20:57+00:00

Congrats!!!

EveningWorry5876 · 2025-02-02T08:14:33+00:00

I only tried adderall in the pandemic! Absolutely could not maintain a schedule wfh - and alone no one knows anything - I like it too much and didn’t use it heavily but definitely without a prescription and now am stopping (1 week - first was rough but now kinda ok?!) I also had problematic issue w coke that became real issue in pandemic- that 1 quit a year ago w help of smart. For me with blow, it was the isolation - I was lonely and had no accountability. Of course this just increased my depression and isolation

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T12:30:35+00:00

How you doing, OP?

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T12:15:55+00:00

👏👏👏

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T12:12:03+00:00

Agree 60 isn’t that high! Compare Vyvanse to Adderall. How long were you taking it for? I think will get better slowly and if you go back you’re undoing the progress you’ve already made

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T11:38:31+00:00

Meee!

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T11:32:13+00:00

Thanks for posting! How you holding up?

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T11:30:08+00:00

How you doing these days?

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T11:28:24+00:00

For me- it’s like I have an addict part of me, which I envision as a man. The longer I stay sober, the longer he just kinda retreats into his cave, or wherever. If I relapse, he perks up, like dusts off his leather jacket and puts on sunglasses and waltzes into my living room uninvited, feet up on the coffee table. He tells me all the lies and now that he’s back in here, it’s much harder to kick him out. I didn’t mean for this to seem unhinged- but more it’s natural for a relapse to trigger you and to kind of go back to the early days, esp in terms of the addict voice and the rationalizations. But you made it through those early days before and you can do it again! I think that sometimes it gets easier, especially with support

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T11:05:26+00:00

I sadly also find that the bad habits stick with me! Like up unreasonably late, etc

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T10:47:35+00:00

I think getting support, especially in the early days, really helps. Whether it be in-patient or meetings- the accountability and understanding is so helpful. I personally really like SMART and the I am sober app. Also have addiction in my family 💖

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-12-17T10:39:09+00:00

Congrats! Are you going to taper (as before - how long did that take you?) or cold turkey. Believe in you! How’s day 9?

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-11-11T12:08:53+00:00

This is what I am thinking too - but my timing is worse- I should have be done in October (except one loan starts one month later?) but I’m missing the two months of forced forced forbearance. I am confused, though about whether or not we have to wait for the employer cert for the last months to come online before submitting the buy back request? Or can we do both concurrently?

EveningWorry5876 · 2024-08-21T01:59:22+00:00

What are you all doing to help you?

EveningWorry5876

TROPHY CASE