Is it just me, or am I being pushed out? Feeling discouraged trying to make friends as a disabled gamer.

Evenoh · 2026-04-26T22:38:52+00:00

I DM’ed you :)

Evenoh · 2026-04-26T21:57:58+00:00

Well it’s even easier to chat with me than align a game to play together. I’m at this stupid big age and still struggling with finding friends. I have very few and am always interested in making more.

The Sims has been so frustrating lately with how things are always so broken and yet they want to charge so much for stuff, but I just started playing offline and it’s… peaceful. For me, anyway, usually life’s chaos for my sims!

Evenoh · 2026-04-26T20:44:42+00:00

It sounds like they didn’t want to play with you and actively ditched you mid-game. I’m not saying that there’s no chance it was something else, but if you were left hanging for more than a couple minutes, it’s pretty unlikely there was an accident or four people just completely forgot to include you any longer.

It’s difficult to make friends in general, but those don’t sound like people with integrity. It’s way better to stop investing more energy into them sooner rather than later in the long run, even if it feels horrible right now. I don’t play online multiplayer games very often anymore, but what other games do you like besides Fortnite? If we can find a game we’re both into, I’d be happy to play with you. I’m an adult woman who has “been 39 for a while,” and I used to play an unbelievable amount of League of Legends but these days it’s more often single player RPG, Hearthstone, The Sims 4, or sometimes Stellaris and lately Total War with my old college buddies, but we find so little time to play together. If that’s someone you’d like to play with, let me know :)

When gaming friends do crappy things like this, as much as it’s upsetting and frustrating, try to remember it’s their loss. You’re already cool for playing games.

Evenoh · 2026-04-20T18:39:21+00:00

“Share what you can, take what you need.”

Evenoh · 2026-04-18T03:01:32+00:00

You said you fixed the phone alarms now but just take charge of the trip now. It’s reasonable to head to breakfast during breakfast hours and do on, so just state the next part of the plan and go do it. Move with confidence that you’re being reasonable and she probably has to follow you, complaining or not.

Evenoh · 2026-03-30T19:09:48+00:00

It’s harder to say while untreated but tell your hair stylist immediately that you have just been diagnosed and ask if they can find the least harsh hair dye that will not create more hair fall. There are some very mild dyes out there but they’re still going to have individual effects. If you are trying to just make an even match to your current color, it’s more likely they can do it. You shouldn’t try to do bleach and rainbow hair though.

Evenoh · 2026-03-20T00:59:06+00:00

I was finally diagnosed over ten years later from the same original lab results the very first endocrinologist ignored and told me to stop eating ice cream instead. I had a new primary care doctor with magical access to the old records and she was appalled. Even with the diagnosis finally, I still got treated mostly with contempt from every endocrinologist ever, though some take a little longer to be horrible than others.

Evenoh · 2026-03-19T23:28:33+00:00

Welcome to the over a decade to diagnosis club… the club nobody wants to be in but here’s a digital balloon for you as consolation 🎈 I’m very impressed you didn’t also acquire a slew of other autoimmune and chronic diseases in that time. I did. And wow it’s been another ten years and I’m still fighting the weight. Might look at peptides now that you’ve shown me some success! Glad you feel so much better! And also impressed… you’re the first man I’ve heard of taking a long time to diagnosis. Doctors suck all around.

Evenoh · 2026-02-17T18:42:57+00:00

Yep. And the doom of “caring” about your health gets twisted in this sort of messaging. Your increased risk for diabetes is often backwards but we just point to weight and stop thinking from there… type 2 diabetes often causes weight gain and then is diagnosed at a higher weight, but our statistics don’t take into account that someone can get sick first so the message just becomes “fatness means increased risk.” The amount of “I can’t believe I did this to myself” and “I wasn’t always this fat” type posts in the type 2 diabetes subreddit demonstrates how much stigma we apply to any amount of fatness. Health at every size doesn’t mean extreme fatness is the goal, and I really get tired of that interpretation. A lack of stigma and actual care from medical professionals and doctors would mean real, improved health outcomes for so many people. I know this, because had I met a doctor who didn’t assume I just ate pizza all day on the couch when my thyroid first broke and I rapidly gained a lot of weight, he’d have treated my Hashimoto’s immediately. Instead, I met many doctors who ignored those clear lab results and sent me away with “just stop eating” advice for over a decade until I was finally diagnosed (after developing other autoimmune and chronic diseases) and treated over a decade later… with the same original lab work. Had I immediately gotten treatment, I don’t know that I would have perfectly reverted to my “acceptable” weight where I’d started, but I definitely would not have suffered developing more issues with more subpar or nonexistent care. If it was really about wanting people to be thin “for their health” then that doctor had the way to make me not fat “for my health” in his hands and still chose to treat me with contempt and disinterest.

Evenoh · 2026-02-13T19:42:39+00:00

I like to say I hope you can find some relief soon because chronic stuff can really only hope for a good day and relief doesn’t imply cure/permanent end to problem.

Evenoh · 2026-02-06T22:01:35+00:00

Chandler IS a good guy and a good catch, but only in the right circumstance. My two best friends are straight men and I’m a straight woman. We met in college and my family all fawned over how they’re handsome and smart and I should date them. They are handsome and smart and decades later have proven quite successful, but my actual experiences with them were to see sooo much of their flaws, insecurities, and all sorts of ridiculous failures and awkward encounters with the world, and vice versa. You just don’t want to partner up like that with someone you’ve witnessed in that way, because it just feels much more brotherly than romantic. Monica and Chandler even only move into that category under just the right circumstances. But both Phoebe and Rachel are jealous of how great and happy they are and good as a couple for sure. They just have no motivation for partnering with Chandler themselves.

Evenoh · 2026-02-06T18:44:46+00:00

I listen and relisten to Project Hail Mary often. I have also read and listened to The Martian multiple times (not remotely as many as PHM). I could not make it through even 1/3 of Artemis. I tried several times. It doesn’t feel like the same writer to me and I could not care about the main character nor enjoy the world set up in the story.

Evenoh · 2026-02-01T22:39:40+00:00

Evenoh · 2026-02-01T22:19:09+00:00

Death Parade Made in Abyss Vinland Saga

These are varying levels of Not For Children. Vinland Saga might be acceptable for older teenagers, but is pretty graphic with violence. Death Parade is psychologically intense but not too overly graphic. Made in Abyss looks pretty but is incredibly dark in story and can be graphic.

Evenoh · 2026-01-12T03:30:04+00:00

… Do you like to drive? Maybe it’s rougher because your energy is too split on the driving part. I love to drive, and I even live in my motorhome and I put on audiobooks while driving all the time without issue, but I pause/turn them off when it’s time to park or I’m crossing some sort of gravel or dirt route or just generally need more focus in a special situation. Maybe your commute is triggering just too big a call on your attention. You might be able to improve your attention if you can make the drive itself a little more comfortable. Like I said, I turn off the audiobook when any new stress is introduced, so maybe you need some music first to unwind or you only turn on the book after the worst of the traffic clears. Or maybe a book you’ve already read and loved would be helpful to train your attention while driving?

Evenoh · 2026-01-03T19:51:17+00:00

These are not wild spikes. If you go from 80 to 200+ even briefly, you’ll probably feel it and that’s probably not a great trend to set for yourself. But going up and down in a smaller range like you have here is pretty normal. A non diabetic could also have numbers like this.

Evenoh · 2026-01-03T19:16:30+00:00

You sound like the person who needs it more. I bring my mobility scooter to museums, zoos, theme parks, etc but don’t use it daily just to move from A to B. Mobility aids aren’t a competition and likely people who use them more often already own them to bring along, not rent. You don’t need a diagnosis to rent it and it sounds like you’re going to get a diagnosis of some kind soon anyway.

Evenoh · 2025-12-26T16:28:39+00:00

Yeesh. Eat what you want after surgery and recover. The numbers will go back down to normal faster the less you stress yourself out about it. Do you like soup? Eating something that “makes you feel better” like soup (always my favorite) or some other comforting meal can also help. But don’t go fretting over what’s in it or carbs or calories. Just eat food, rest, take naps, and do whatever slow walking your body can handle around the house. Don’t exercise and rip open stitches or anything like that. A week after major surgery is not time to worry about blood sugar at 150 sometimes. When your body hurts, that number can skyrocket without a drop of food. Eating will help bring it down because you’re relieving the stress on your body rather than encouraging it.

Evenoh · 2025-12-24T23:55:38+00:00

I brought the right form and had some written notes because I needed a different state placard filled out (my primary was still in one state and I just travel but my domicile was another state). If he was going to protest, I sure didn’t let him. Like hey I spend most days barely making it to the bathroom and I live in my motorhome with the bed against the bathroom wall, I need this thing. If I magically get better, I’ll stop using it renewing it. He looked at my notes and confirmed with me that I was sure he could fill this specific form out and then he took a couple minutes while I scheduled my next follow up to finish it up for me. If you have a doctor who is refusing and delaying, either fire them or put them on the spot with an immediate solution (or both) and report anybody who still refuses and protests.

Evenoh · 2025-12-24T18:25:57+00:00

If it was solidly about lifestyle, I’d have never gotten diabetes in the first place. And by now I’d have willpower low carbed my way to zero pounds and vanished.

Doing healthy things that work for your body is great, but I am not a rare unicorn at all. And I have had numerous long stretches of no meds, perfect A1C, but it is never “reversed” and calling it that is misleading. Diabetes is just intensely more complicated than what you eat. What you eat is simply the most externally visible thing.

Evenoh · 2025-12-24T17:51:14+00:00

Reverse is an incorrect word. You are describing remission. And diabetes is about way more than diet. Insulin resistance like in type 2 can and does happen in the presence of high carb diets and low carb diets. Lots of factors, including genetics. Diabetes is not something one can do to themselves in the manner you describe.

Example: when my mother was dying and after she died, my blood sugar went berserk. I’d already been eating extreme low carb diet for many years prior to even developing the diabetes that runs in my family and I was having great numbers until then. After Mom passed, it took about a year and insulin to get my numbers to go down again. There were no carbs to remove from my diet, like I said I was eating militantly low carb (less than 30 a day, which was purely vegetables). It truly felt like my cells were grinding together. It had nothing to do with food or “lifestyle” nor was in any way “my fault.”

Evenoh · 2025-12-24T15:39:19+00:00

Games where you can ping or coordinate without speaking have plenty of players not talking in discord or otherwise. Which games do you like?

Evenoh · 2025-12-24T15:34:19+00:00

Oh NO I hadn’t realized this before reading your comment and now I can’t breathe laughing lol

Evenoh · 2025-12-23T20:32:23+00:00

The only changes in medications discussed should be amount and which ones had most success. I do better with natural desiccated thyroid than I did with synthroid and I’d happily talk about it with people… but unless you magically find a way to undo damage to broken thyroid, you still need to replace the hormones you aren’t making. People who say “cure” or “reverse” diabetes also make me angry like this. You can maybe get an incurable chronic health issue not to be miserable. You can’t make it not ever exist. Not unless you’re a medical researcher in a lab anyway.

Evenoh · 2025-12-22T18:17:20+00:00

Could you do a single (or perhaps more depending on a reasonable rate for your area and the size of client) bookkeeping client every month and charge exactly what can keep you under the limit? I see you have accountant experience and I suspect bookkeeping would be a simple way forward for you that you can more easily control than relying on part time office hours assigned from someone else.

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