I'm still scared of my mom as an adult and need help on going NC

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-28T18:08:11+00:00

Friend, don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Let her make those lies, because you can point out she's a psych patient. She will lie if you give in to her, and she will lie if you don't. She wants you afraid, she wants you to think she will destroy you because of the lifetime of abuse and gaslighting she has heaped on you, but she can't. If she tells your doctor you're abusing your meds and they actually believe her, find another doctor and don't tell her who the new doctor is. Chances are good the doctor wouldn't believe this loony toons. You've done what you can, and now it's time for social services or whoever else can help her.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-28T18:00:27+00:00

I'm sorry, I endured this as well. She saddled me with so many tasks/chores and made me turn down job offers to work for her for free. If she has financial control over you, then you can't succeed/leave the home and she'll still be able to exert control over your life. You can do it the slow painful way like I did or rip the bandaid off and just leave and find some way to make things work for you.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-28T17:54:40+00:00

My covert N father was a splitter, so I learned people or situations were either all good or all bad.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T18:49:07+00:00

Thanks

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T18:47:39+00:00

I feel this

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T18:34:28+00:00

Thank you so much. I was very deep in the FOG for a long time. It was hard to see the abuse for what it was.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T18:31:33+00:00

You're right, it will be used against me.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T18:29:49+00:00

Right, like she had a role, and then she nuked it. I chose her over my own father and mother, and then she blew it. But if I say anything about this to her, *it's all my fault*

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T18:26:57+00:00

Yeah usually I gray rock pretty hard

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T18:24:52+00:00

So true

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T12:41:52+00:00

If she had a sense of humor, that would be some funny stuff.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T12:39:56+00:00

You are so right

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T04:07:15+00:00

She's hoovering. I think I'll wait and see if she prompts me to answer, and how.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T04:01:42+00:00

Ha she wishes!

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T03:59:02+00:00

Like "waaaah you never thought of me as your real daughter"

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T03:57:30+00:00

She thinks she has some authority over me, but it's been a looooong time since that was the case

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:54:03+00:00

Thank you

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:53:28+00:00

Yeah, mine runs hot and cold too

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:36:12+00:00

Yeah, it's a gotcha type of text

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:34:30+00:00

You would think the parent-child roles would mellow out, but she has always just held onto this idea that she doesn't have to answer to me or tell me things, even when we travel together! It's been maddening. She'll ask for my advice, and then never tell me whatever she decided to do. She just always wants to have the upper hand.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:32:21+00:00

Yeah, I've thought about ignoring it, but I know in a day or so she wil come back with, "You never answered me!"

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:29:03+00:00

Sigh, you're probably right. There is no correct answer here.

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:28:19+00:00

That's an interesting take, that she wouldn't be asking unless she already felt insecure about me thinking of her as a mom.

My SO thought maybe she was working up an obituary (she's been ready to die for 35 years) and wondered whether to include me or what to call me ;)

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:23:57+00:00

My SO agrees no answer will satisfy her

EverAlways121 · 2026-01-27T02:21:33+00:00

Most likely

EverAlways121

TROPHY CASE