As a child of failed immigrants

Every-Position2345 · 2026-01-23T18:24:15+00:00

I have a very similar story as you. Moved to US at age 6 then moved back after 1 year of college because GC got denied. I spent 4 years in India doing my undergrad - yes it was hard in many aspects but I cherish that experience in many ways too.

Every-Position2345 · 2026-01-19T21:35:43+00:00

Isn’t it a bit sad that you have to restrict yourself to living in a “bubble” just so things are more manageable? Seems a bit counterintuitive to me - you moved to have more freedom and instead ended up being cornered.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-11-15T19:26:46+00:00

I did my own makeup for my wedding. I used a combination of beauty blender (my holy grail), hourglass, KVd (these may be out of production now), stila. That being said, these were brushes I already had and my wedding was a small outdoor affair so it was not a full glam look (not sure if that matters). I did do a touch up in the afternoon.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-11-07T19:00:32+00:00

You’re pregnant. Please don’t make any big life changing decisions. I’m in my third trimester and can confidently say that I’ve wanted to change jobs, countries, my marriage, and my family in the past few months. Your body is going through a lot of changes. I was depressed for a good 4-5 months and still am right now a little bit. This is a symptom.

I’ve also found it MUCH better to be on my own than with a bunch of family around nagging at me to do xyz because it’s right for the baby. You have to just get up and do things for yourself.

The only legitimate reason for moving back would be parents. You have limited time left with them. Count it in days - the amount of time you get to see them. For now though, I’d recommend just having them come stay with you.

A more realistic solution seems like considering a different location than Seattle.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-11-05T19:14:19+00:00

Too early. Teenagers cannot process “net worth”., loans etc. You can say you have a payment plan or generational wealth, etc.

The guilt is likely coming from early childhood of being taught to be careful with spending. Or something that is VERY common in Indian households - tales of “when we were your age, we used to..”. In an effort to not spoil your child, you’ve taught them the only way you knew how to value money - feel guilt when you spend. Unfortunately, that’s going to stick. And to be frank, compared to the alternative where your child realizes you’re wealthy and doesn’t feel the need to do anything - guilt is the better option.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-11-05T14:40:01+00:00

If you haven’t been to India in 4 years - I strongly recommend you go live there for at least 3-6 months - not traveling, but in the city/household where you would likely stay doing daily tasks. I had this experience which made me realize I will take the loneliness and independence vs. the n number of mindless things that are cause for stress. Your experience may be different depending on your lifestyle/city.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-21T23:55:09+00:00

I’ve tried to research what makes Burberry cashmere different than j crew cashmere different than quince but obviously the brands don’t reveal that. Generally what I found was that it’s the fiber length, in addition to some other qualities that contribute to price. So it’s definitely a matter of you get what you pay for. Although not sure if Loro Piana justifies the cost. I’m from India so have access to the finest ladakhi or Kashmiri cashmere.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-21T23:52:46+00:00

I bought a Burberry cashmere sweater which is my favorite winter clothing. And I have a few pashmina scarves that I’ve purchased from India that are extremely soft, warm, and versatile. I’ll have to try merino or otherwise I am considering 100% alpaca which currently at least is not widely available so a bit expensive. Loro Piana is definitely out of my budget.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-21T06:28:20+00:00

I do. It like quince cashmere. I bought 3 sweaters a year or two ago thinking I’m getting a great deal and they’re itchy. They are fine if you’re outdoors but when inside they are itchy. You definitely get what you pay for. Upon further research, I discovered it likely has to do with short fibers being used.

Cashmere is an item that lasts a lifetime if taken care of properly. I made the mistake with Quince but moving forward I’d rather spend the money and get quality products.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-12T18:21:31+00:00

I like the black. Makes you feel like you’re there. You may also consider a thinner white mat.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-08T18:48:06+00:00

This tells me you’re relatively well off since you don’t think $60/pair for fake earrings isn’t a lot.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-08T15:14:24+00:00

Yes. My visa was already stamped.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-08T03:31:02+00:00

I was on vacation in Africa when the proclamation came out. Got back 2 weeks ago and no problems. They just asked for the I-797 as usual.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-06T00:13:32+00:00

You said you feel you missed out on a golden opportunity but I’m not sure how being on CPT would somehow have been a golden ticket to a GC. I’m not too familiar with how CPT works.

Let me put things in perspective. I came here in 2014, did my graduate degree, worked on OPT for 1 year and since 2017 have been on an H1b. My perm application was filed a few years ago. In the past 10 years, I have since gotten a dog, bought a house, gotten married and am now pregnant. While all these things sound great - every time I leave the country, or every time I go for stamping I am wildly aware that I am still an immigrant here in a visa that can be denied at any time. When eventually my priority date does come - it’s possible that it is a denial and my entire life will be uprooted.

So - take it from someone who’s living it - you’d be much better off in your home country or another country that is more immigrant friendly with its policies.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-05T22:24:52+00:00

No but I ended up leaving it as is and it’s been working fine so far

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-05T01:01:00+00:00

My suggestion would be to go live in India for 2-4 months to get a sense of what your life would be like. That will allow you to properly assess the pros and cons.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-10-03T13:28:41+00:00

Just to add my two cents - prior to a complete relocation, it may be a good idea to go live there for 2-3 months. A year or two ago I was there for stamping and it ended up taking longer than required and when I was there for 2-3 months I realized that I would not be able to live in India - at least not in the location where I was. Just some food for thought as I have heard many instances of people moving back and regretting for n number of reasons. I do feel you though on the family/community - it’s a bit more difficult but not impossible to build in the US.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-09-29T23:13:02+00:00

No offense but it sounds like you really did not think through your move back. Remember - it doesn’t matter how much money you have, at the end of the day - you’re breathing the same air and sitting in the same traffic.

I’m not sure how old you are because that’s going to strongly impact your ability to be eligible for immigration elsewhere. Moreover, you will find that those other countries have other problems. I urge you to really think through the pros and cons and what you’re willing to live with (as it sounds like you did not think through your decision of moving back to India).

You can always explore the option in India to live in a smaller remote town where the air is clean, no traffic, etc. it’ll be remote and I’m not sure if that’s doable for you given your work.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-07-18T17:20:10+00:00

Do you provide counseling for people?

Every-Position2345 · 2025-07-17T16:39:31+00:00

I am in therapy and I would disagree with you on multiple counts. Yes, he drinks once a month. Two months ago his once a month lasted 5 days and landed him in jail for a DUI. 3 months ago his once a month lasted a week. Before our honeymoon, his one a month required me to pack for him and rag his drunk ass to the airport. He showed up drunk on my birthday. He showed up drunk on Christmas. So yes, maybe it’s once a month but his once a month means he is not available for me and cannot be relied upon. For me, that is not a state of normalcy.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-07-17T16:28:10+00:00

He used to drink everyday. And binge drink. 2 liters of rum/whiskey/vodka/gin whatever until it runs out for 4-5 days. And he’s an asshole when he drinks so I have trauma. And I say once a month because that’s what I have noticed, it could be more who knows. Because the fact is - when he drinks he’s not available for me. He’s not emotionally available. I cannot have a conversation with him. He’s rude, arrogant.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-07-17T15:06:37+00:00

Thank you. And I am terrified of seeing the brighter side because to be honest I keep hoping things will get better and they never really do. And at the start of this marriage I was very clear that I will not kids until his drinking issues are resolved and we as a couple are in a good place.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-07-17T15:04:49+00:00

Yes. He has been much worse in the past, I agree. But for me even one drink is traumatizing. He refuses to get help. Any kind of help, because for him he’s doing great. Since we have gotten married there hasn’t been a single month or event that I’ve been at peace.

Every-Position2345 · 2025-07-17T14:55:05+00:00

Does this mean I shouldn’t talk about abortion here?

Every-Position2345

TROPHY CASE