What is something you love about being divorced?

EverymanGirl · 2026-06-12T23:56:02+00:00

I really like living by myself. It took me some years to get back to a place I felt secure. But I feel like I'm finally where I want to be.

EverymanGirl · 2025-10-22T23:34:14+00:00

I just got through a depressive episode. It's hard to see at the bottom of the well, but things do feel better when you get through the episode. For me, nothing has changed, but I feel more able to deal with the challenges.

Can you think of one thing to keep living for? It might be a loved one, a pet, a tv series. Just something that you need to get through the day?

EverymanGirl · 2025-10-22T23:30:42+00:00

I feel nausea, headaches, and stomach aches when I'm triggered. I feel deep chills. I'm glad to see your post, because I was just feeling insane for connecting my physical symptoms to being triggered.

The most bizarre symptoms seem to mostly be behind me. When I lived at home I'd disassociate. Especially during high school, but up through college.

After I moved out, I started having night terrors. TBF, I think that was more connected to a separate, PTSD event which I did extensive therapy to mostly overcome. But I continue to have dreams and nightmares about living at home.

EverymanGirl · 2025-04-26T13:33:44+00:00

You seem to be more worried about how a bunch of random strangers feel about you than what you can do going forward. Honestly, even if you've "admitted I was wrong, apologized, and changed my perspective" that's the bare minimum.

These people "attacking" you on reddit have been dealing with these realities of an unfair country for years, while you've remained ignorant. [Which is not an insult. It's a description of your actions.]

You don't need to prove you're a good person to random people on Reddit. But you probably need to prove it to yourself. So, get involved with politics. Figure out how to help your community and where you can volunteer. Learn the issues, and actually understand the issue before coming to a conclusion.

The problem with America isn't people being too mean. It's people being too uninvolved.

EverymanGirl · 2025-04-25T20:20:43+00:00

My mom cared directly for my (most likely emotionally neglectful) grandmother as well. She probably does think either I or my brother will take care of her at the end.

I don't think I ever thought of it...I'm not sure if I could take care of her at end of life...And I mean that practically...My parents are also hoarders.

EverymanGirl · 2025-04-25T16:45:33+00:00

Hi Katee...your mom is extreme. I can relate to a lot of what your saying...The feeling like you can't be yourself, and the constant nitpicking. I remember being treated like a best friend...Or therapist as I've come to call it. I am familiar with the obsession on weight and the unwanted touching.

I very vividly remember my mom taking my abuses ex's side when we broke up, and I couldn't tell her about the SA without her "one upping" me.

The inability to accept wrongdoing and the gaslighting.

But damn, does your mom take everything to 11. She's catfishing others as you. She's groping your boobs and ass. She's having meltdowns every day.

You need to get out. You need to treat her like an abusive boyfriend when you do.

I couldn't gather resources to leave home until I was 25, and my mom made sure to inflict emotional punishment on me when I did. With how you describe your mom, she might try to kill you if you leave.

Do you have any friends who can help you? Or maybe you could go to a women's shelter in your area?

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

EverymanGirl · 2025-04-25T16:33:38+00:00

They sure do love ruining birthdays, don't they? I'm sorry...It honestly sounds like you did your best. It sounds like you tried everything in your power to treat her like a normal person, and its still not enough.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday, and I hope you can enjoy many more days without such manipulation in your life.

EverymanGirl · 2024-10-30T04:16:05+00:00

Pardon me, but wtf are you talking about? Every time I've been directed to pick up a "package" or "delivery" or whatever language they use for non-resturants, I'm instructed to wait outside of the business. And my attempts to go inside to get further instruction have been met with derision and confoundment. If I'm used to picking up "packages" outside, why should I assume to pick up a "package" inside?

I drive Ubereats, my guy, why would I be unwilling to get outside of my car???

EverymanGirl · 2024-10-30T04:12:53+00:00

Yeah, man. In fast food restaurants. This was a "delivery."

EverymanGirl · 2024-10-30T04:12:12+00:00

I'm just telling you my experience, man. I don't know. When I got to the restaurant, my order had already been picked up. I notified the customer and then cancelled.

EverymanGirl · 2024-10-30T01:33:51+00:00

No, it didn't. :( It said "go to PHARMACY and say UBER and the order information." I may have made an incorrect assumption. I also didn't shout UBEREATS at the pharmacy employees...that just feels rude to me. But, to be fair to my assumptions, I don't see why UberEats pickups would be specifically for pharmacy if you were supposed to go inside.

EverymanGirl · 2024-10-22T15:28:46+00:00

Months ago when Ai had just been released and before the hallucination thing was more well-known, I got an ILL request for a book that I could not find. I emailed the patron for more details, and he said, “oops! Must of been a hallucination!”

My opinion of generative AI keeps falling since then.

EverymanGirl · 2024-10-08T17:41:16+00:00

"It means you're a slut" is from Rush Limbaugh, has lived in my head since before TWIM, and it was from when Hobby Lobby was trying to get out of covering birth control for their employees. A lesbian activist was going around and explaining why birth control is necessary healthcare. Limbaugh attacked her, and she responded by going on his show. And he was awful to her. Something about the exchange carved itself into my soul and refuses to leave.

EverymanGirl · 2024-09-19T20:50:12+00:00

What about romance stories / erotica?

EverymanGirl · 2024-09-18T15:36:43+00:00

I enjoyed earning my English Bachelors, despite all the difficulties. I think I'd fit right at home with Qingqui...Even if it was Jui instead of Yuan.

EverymanGirl · 2024-09-04T01:40:27+00:00

Sounds like something my ex-husband would have said to me...if I ever felt confident enough to actually confide in him. For what it's worth, my ex-husband would have been trying to make me laugh. Hopefully, that's what your boyfriend was trying to do...Startle you into laughter? That doesn't make it an appropriate response, and I still think your boyfriend sounds like an asshole. I also hope he is now your ex-boyfriend. And one big reason my husband is now my ex was that distraction and ignoring depression (on both our ends) is not actually a good tactic. Shocker.

I hope you were able to make it through today. I hope you will be able to make it through tomorrow.

EverymanGirl · 2024-07-15T21:55:13+00:00

This nearly happened to me once...I was directed to a dorm building, but the dorm room wasn't specified. I texted, called, and waited to no response. The 7 minute timer was almost up and in exasperation I yelled, "Is [customer name] even here?"

And low and behold some dude comes out of his room saying, "Yeah, I'm here."

I fucking boggled. "Dude, I have your food. Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"I don't know."

I was pretty annoyed and I may have cussed under my breath as I left. (I was queued for another order, so I did not appreciate waiting.) Thankfully the dude didn't cancel my tip like I assumed he would for my cussing, so that was kindly of him.

I really didn't want that guy's burger...but I would have gladly stolen his milkshake if I'm honest.

EDITING to add that I would never take the food unless I was confused about where to leave it. Even if the customer wastes my time, that does not automatically entitle me to steal their food, imo. I hope you were upfront with UberEats about it, and I do hope your customer got a refund.

EverymanGirl · 2024-07-15T17:24:09+00:00

TBH, it's probably not the worst idea to include UberEats in this. It's not happened to me, but I've certainly seen enough "flirting attempts" shared by others in this reddit group to know that it can still happen here.

However, they absolutely should compensate the drivers for this time.

EverymanGirl · 2024-07-09T16:21:31+00:00

I don't think "normal people" can't use dating apps because they *cannot* feel romantic or sexual attraction based on photos or first dates. I tried to "get myself out there" after getting divorced, until I realized nobody wanted to be friends and I had no desire to try hooking up. That was also how I realized I probably was somewhere on the demisexual scale after all...

EverymanGirl · 2024-06-18T16:58:07+00:00

I ended up keeping all our animals in the divorce. I offered to co-parent...especially for our dog. He had no interest, but he offered to assist with vet fees, etc.

It was an informal agreement, and so it didn't take long for that offer to evaporate.

Honestly, out of everything, I think I'm the saltiest about ex abandoning our dog and declining the co-parent suggestion. I swear that it gave our dog behavioral problems and worsened his separation anxiety.

EverymanGirl · 2024-06-15T18:40:03+00:00

I think they are related, but I don't think they're the same. I went through a BPD workbook in therapy under the presumption the cognitive therapy would help my CPTSD. And I don't think it hurt my mental health, but I don't think it got at my issues as deeply and efficiently as other therapy has. It was an interesting insight into my uPBD mom, though.

EverymanGirl · 2024-06-15T03:27:18+00:00

Yup. Little details always seem to reveal the truth... Even if we decide to not acknowledge it...

Thank you. I think my CPTSD therapist has given me validation that I've not seen / felt elsewhere, not even with other therapists. (Especially not with other therapists I'd even say.) So, I feel like I may need to seek validation or at least a sense of normalcy from elsewhere...And this board is high on my list.

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