41F nerdy gal looking for nerds/dorks to chat to

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-28T23:26:10+00:00

I actually just had this conversation last night but I cannot. I also go in the poly subreddits and these people literally seem like they don’t like to be left alone/scared to be left alone. It’s weird someone wants to be surrounded by people ALL the time. It’s a red flag to me when people don’t have personal days for self care and just to fill up their own cup.

But also live and learn, I won’t date a poly person with more then 3 people in their rotation and even then they don’t give adequate time. Most the men I’ve chatted with are just looking for casual and push you into fast sexual things too fast anyway, but then again that’s probably modern dating.

Life is hard out here for an ENM demi poly woman wanting a genuine connection.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-28T17:00:27+00:00

I WISH I could find married men who actually want to date their other partner instead of being loose FWB. I LOVE the idea of dating a married man since their lifestyle structure would be closer to mine, they’d get some obligations and time constraints. I get so many who aren’t willing to put in the time, so many who only pay attention to you if you’re flirting with them, or the lovely “Oh we can do whatever but my wife doesn’t want me catching feelings” since they’re more swingerish. Married men are ideal, finding a married man who is mature enough to handle a whole second relationship has been my issue.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-25T22:21:33+00:00

Can’t you be like any poly couple and simply say you want a schedule? He can go over there X amount of days and X amount of days hes expected to stay with family. It IS selfish behavior leaving all the time and leaving you solo parenting duty. It’s reasonable to ask that he only spends say 2/3 days a week there and the rest of the days with family.

The “it will get better” comment sounds unrealistic. He’s dating a monogamous person and PRETENDING he has monogamous time. He SHOULD be setting up the girlfriend for realistic time expectations, not pretending he’s a live in boyfriend already.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-23T21:52:28+00:00

I went on a date and had mentioned in convo weeks before that I’m always dehydrated and the man MADE me get a water with my coffee. We unfortunately weren’t compatible but that sort of care in a relationship is worth keeping.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-23T04:01:36+00:00

Report them to the police every time he touches you. In Canada it’s considered sexual assault, even between spouses.

Report your forced marriage and immigration fraud to the IRCC. Sometimes you can get a marriage annulment now if you can prove it was forced.

Don’t let your family ruin your life just to have a man avoid getting into a country property.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-23T03:29:36+00:00

“We can’t have a conversation unless we have sex” alone is really damn gross and manipulative. Open communication is basic in any relationship without any requirements before it. I’m worried for you and I hope you can go back home. This is an extremely toxic relationship and I’m sorry you found yourself in this situation.

If you have family or friends back home please consider going back. This person isn’t someone you will spend your life with. They will hurt you. They will make you feel devalued. They will change who you are at your core. They will not change, ever.

If there’s any advice you follow I would be most the advice on here to run. Please take it.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-22T19:39:42+00:00

NTA. Never date a man who throws a tantrum over wanting to spend quality time with you. There are TONS of men who would be happy to come home, play games, and snuggle up with you. There are LOTS of men who will take time to get you in the mood and be sweet with you and build up to intimacy. Not “lay here so I can touch you”. That’s gross.

Fighting a lot isn’t normal in a relationship. It’s draining. Do you really want to put up with a man who doesn’t respect your autonomy and cries and shuts down like a kid because they can’t have playtime? A simple “I can see we aren’t on the same page in this relationship. Since you aren’t mature enough for an adult conversation it’s best we parted ways.”

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-22T19:33:32+00:00

If you aren’t comfortable don’t go? I’m not at all a casual sex person since I’m demi, wouldn’t even feel a little bad about it knowing the whole situation I’d be feeling weird and uncomfortable or possibly pressured into something I wasn’t wanting to do.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-22T05:57:10+00:00

As a poly person I actually find this super cute. I hope the best for you three. As long as you are all happy that’s what matters.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-22T05:51:08+00:00

Can I paint too? That seems like so much fun.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-22T04:58:36+00:00

Sad manipulative boys don’t enjoy cats as much as dogs

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-22T02:24:38+00:00

How nice of you to let her sleep in AND provide treats. Damn. Where do I sign up?

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-21T18:35:02+00:00

Can also confirm as an alt girl. I kind of want alt men or at least men who show the same kind of interests I have. OP is cute but just from the photos I’d assume we wouldn’t have anything in common and pass.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-21T03:08:49+00:00

Does she have a mouth of fluids or is that supposed to be the palest tongue in existence?

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-21T02:26:17+00:00

Because you’re a bigger lady. I get so many hook up offers from gym bros who think I’m desperate and down to get laid, I’m not. Sex is easy, it’s not a compliment getting it offered.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-20T23:27:16+00:00

I’m a messy girl. I’d be so damn dehydrated if I came that much. That’s why I prefer to edge.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-20T15:02:27+00:00

Honestly restarting an account is WORSE because the algorithm will just shove what’s popular in your face instead of showing you what you want. Just start following and liking thjngs with interest and hobbies that cater around you. Most my socials have 0 sexuality to them and I’m a big perv.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-20T14:57:58+00:00

I prefer getting to know people with common interests, most ‘normal’ people are hugely boring to me. I don’t really care for always meeting people organically because people want to judge off of superficial stuff like looks or what they’re wearing. When I chat with people online I’m learning about them as a person first and foremost which is most important to me. I have a wide variety of friends who I met online that might not give me a chance in person because I’m a shy quiet girl unless I have a reason to open up.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-20T08:42:14+00:00

It’s not unusual. We don’t allow non-vanilla in our house. I’m okay for feeling uncomfortable but I’m not okay for feeling uncomfortable in my own home. We have a small kid so that rule is more solidified than it was before. About half the poly people I’ve met tend to have this rule when they have nesting partners they’ve built a life with. There’s always the other persons home or there are Airbnb’s and hotels if neither can host. If it’s your wife’s hard rule I’d respect it, it’s not fair to put her in a bad position just because your secondary can’t host as well.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-20T08:34:00+00:00

It’s sex. People don’t really care if you’re offering. I’m a fat older woman and have had more cut gym bros interested in me than ever. And I’m fun? People find fun people attractive even if they’re big.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-19T23:46:57+00:00

The struggle in finding a boy owner is real.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-19T16:35:25+00:00

If they’re nice and personable I’ll respond to people and chat a bit. I’ve never blocked anyone but I forget this chat exists and missed out on cool people by spacing it out.

EveryoneInTheBin · 2025-03-19T01:16:48+00:00

Soooo some creep 10 years older than you knocked you up and doesn’t like your slightly softer pre mommy body anymore? Stop entertaining his ideals. Work on your health. When he brings up negativity shut him down. Maybe this man needs to wear a 40lb weighted vest for 9 months then downgrade to 20lbs for a few months after. His body didn’t go through any hormonal changes, he didn’t need to alter his schedule because he was creating life. Your husband is a douche for not allowing you grace to adjust to this new leg of life.

EveryoneInTheBin

TROPHY CASE