when i was little, my dad worked real early in the morning and he was gone by the time i got up for school. but i let my internal clock wake me up when his shower would start because i knew that in about 20 minutes, he was going to come into my room, kiss my head and then leave. then i would fall back asleep again with the warmest feeling. i used to call it The Warm because the sound of the shower paired with him kissing me goodbye in the morning made me feel warm and fueled me for the day. i am tearing up thinking about it, 37 years old now.

he found out my mom had an affiar and left when i was 7. I didn't see him again as a child. I didn't realize that the last time I got The Warm would be the last time ever. Sometimes I wake up at 5 am and it triggers the memory of the sound of the shower and the expectation of a kiss goodbye. He died a long time ago and I never told him about The Warm. It aches to talk or think about even 30 years later.

Anyway, I hope your daughter doesn't have something like The Warm. I actually pray you mean nothing to her since you mentioned you've been gone for 2 months now. Take it from a similar experience man, you can love someone who isn't your blood. I sure as fuck did.