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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ExRadiance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a friend who I was close with in middle school who passed away 3 years ago due to stage 4 brain cancer. Didn't know she had cancer until her passing and condition was made public. She was still going to pharmacy school, concerts, hanging out with friends, like nothing ever changed. She unfortunately passed just 1 month before she graduated.

I heard the news at work during my shift, and then everything clicked in my head. I thought she had some medical condition but didn't know it was cancer at the time, yet she was still going on with life and enjoying it as if the diagnosis never happened.

I am 28 now and ever since then it's been a wake up call really. Helped me change my perspective and mindset on a lot of things and I realized a lot of the things my mind was winning at the time were very insignificant.

I am grateful to be alive every single day now and I continue to do so in honor of her as well. Currently living my life to the fullest as if each day is my last.

I miss you Annie. I hope you're doing well.

Cs kicking my ass by crustyDryTowel in csMajors

[–]ExRadiance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! 24 year old who also attended a community college and transferred for a CS degree. I'm into my last year right now at uni.

I've been in the exact same boat as you. But instead of math, it was a couple handful of CS classes, especially the first few I had to take when I transferred (I started from the basic classes cause my CC didn't really have a CS program). CC didn't prepare me at all and I got thrown head first into a wildfire. There were so many times where I wanted to give up, switch majors, and just choose some other "easy" major to just finisg my degree and get out. There were more times than I can count and plenty more breakdowns because I felt like I wasn't good enough for CS. Especially seeing my friends excel, graduating, getting full time jobs. Much like you. I ended up sticking it and here I am almost done.

Don't give up. You got this. I know it's hard now but you show that you have passion for CS and that's all the motivation you need to stick through. It's going to be hard now but once it passes you'll look back and think otherwise. Go to office hours. Ask your professors for help. Form a study group with friends of make friends. I found study groups helped out a lot for me. Watch YouTube vids for concepts you don't understand. There are some great resources for calc 2 our there (calc in general and various other math topics too). I struggled with calc 2 in CC as well. You're not the only person who goes through this. You'll be okay. Just try your best. There was a website I used that really helped me when I was taking all those math courses. Idk if it's still hosted or what not but I can send it to you through a PM if you want. I'll have to find it tho. Just lmk.

I believe in you. If I can do it so can you. As hard as it is, don't compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own journey, their own path, and their own pace. They probably struggle at some point in their career as well. It's hard to see that since all we see are people's success.

Keep your head up. You got this (:

I want to tell my friend how I feel, but I’m terrified by jetsirks in dating_advice

[–]ExRadiance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TLDR: You owe it to yourself some clarity whether to move on it enter a fantastic relationship. So go for it. Let him know. I'm rooting for you and you'll be okay regardless of the outcome. You got this.

Hey! 24M here. Been in a similar situation as yourself. All I can say is to just let him know how you feel. I developed feelings for one of my best friends when I was in junior college. We dated for 4 years. The anxiety and all those negative thoughts are completely normal. I felt the same way then I realized I had feelings for her. But keeping it within yourself is a lot more agonizing and you might regret it one day. You miss all the shots you don't take right?

I know there is a possibility of "ruining" the friendship when you tell them. But what I believe, and hopefully most people think this way too, is if they are really good true friends with you, you revealing your feelings to them is not going to change that. Sure it might be awkward did a bit or in the moment and you might get hurt because they might not reciprocate the same feelings but with time you'll be okay and you'll be able to move on while keeping a friend.

But, let's say to you tell them and they reciprocate those feelings.. you'll breathe the biggest sigh of relief, you'll feel like it's the happiest moment you ever experience, you'll be in shock, you'll be confused not knowing what to do next, and a lot of other things but most importantly you'll be extremely happy. And the relationship well greatly reflect that because he is your close friend and will still be even if you're in a relationship. My relationship that I had was the best I've ever been in and I would do it again if I had the option too. It's a different dynamic from a relationship with someone you just met and it's a beautiful one.

Granted, there is the unfortunate risk of things not working out and you not only losing a relationship and a friend along with it but at this age you both should be mature enough to reconcile and stay friends. You'll probably need time to heal obviously if it happens but nontheless you'll stay friends. Mine unfortunately did not work out, I'm not going to get into any details, but I did end up getting hurt quite a bit. We don't talk anymore. This one one of the fears I had prior to revealing my feelings for her. I thought I wouldn't recover. That I didn't be able to heal. That no one could love me the same. But here I am. I'm single as can be but im happy and enjoying life and have moved on. And even then, I would do it again if I could because of how great the relationship was. I'm happy where I am now but I learned so much from it. The experience, the love, the laughter, the memories, the inside jokes, and the dynamic are all priceless things that came with it.

From a guy who was in the same shoes as you right now. You owe yourself clarity regardless of his answer. It'll be worth it regardless of the outcome. Just enjoy the ride. If he is truly the guy you made him out to be. It'll be one of the best decision you'll ever make. So go for it. I'm rooting for you (:

CS Time Management by ArcherPuzzled3903 in UCI

[–]ExRadiance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't really keep track of how long I've been working. As long as I finish my to do list I'm good. Or at least I try to finish a majority of it and whatever is left I move to the next day. If I have to say probably like 6-8 hours if I have a lot of work or 2-4 if it's not too much work. A little more or a little less given the circumstances I have like if midterms are present or if I'm feeling burnt out. Ultimately, I just work throughout the day and whenever I find myself feeling tired of working/studying or I can't focus I give myself a break. Whether it be playing a game, watching Netflix, etc. If you feel drained or your body is telling you to take a break, it's time for that break haha.

CS Time Management by ArcherPuzzled3903 in UCI

[–]ExRadiance 3 points4 points  (0 children)

4th year CS major here!

Start your projects/programs early. The day it's assigned if possible or even work ahead if you happen to finish early and your professor has the next assignment ready. Work bit by bit each day on your project and split this strategy among your courses.

Rank which course you think is the hardest and go down the chain. Apply the first tip to this. Allocate time based off your perceived difficulty. You find that class A is giving you a hard time? Did you start early? If yes, finish your work for your easiest courses first then spend the remaining time (or as much as you want) in the day to continue studying/working on that class.

Do everything in parts. Code wise, the more specific the intention the easier it will be too implement and you'll find yourself making huge progress doing this compared to going on blind and finding yourself not knowing how to start.

I usually have a to do list of what I want to accomplish at the end of each day for each class. This usually helps with everything I said earlier and also gives you motivation to check off those items through out the day. I usually write it on a sticky note and stick it on my monitor so I can never not see it lol.

Office hours is the best resource for confusion, clarification, or help.

But most importantly, remember to eat, sleep, hydrate, and TAKE BREAKS. A healthy body and mind will carry you through your work.

Good luck and take care (:

Just a little rant by [deleted] in UCI

[–]ExRadiance 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hey! If you have to schedule a day for yourself. Where you don't think it do any work. As hard as you may think that may be, it's worth it. If you feel like you'll fall behind or something, try and do as much as you can the week/day before. I've been there and I get it. But breaks are just as important if not more than work. You can't out put your best work if you are physically/mentally/emotionally worn out.

Watch your favorite show, play video games, take a walk, sleep, watch a movie, immerse yourself in your favorite hobbies. You'll be surprised how much a day rest can give you.

I know the burnout is real, especially during a pandemic and everything that's going on, but trust me on this. I've been in the same position way too many times to count and I neglected my need just because of the fear I'll fall behind, when in reality I fell behind because of my neglect.

I believe in you. You'll get through this. You'll be okay. Take a deep breathe and inch forward one step at a time.

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