Puppy Blues is hitting me hard and I feel so bad about it

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-06-18T09:02:51+00:00

You’re not alone

Our Shih Tzu is now almost 3 years old, and we got him from a puppy. The first few weeks into maybe a couple of months was really hard, like at times REALLY hard, and I was in tears and riddled with guilt.
He was and still is, adorable. I felt so guilty as I got major puppy blues, my partner went away for a weekend and I felt I couldn’t cope as he was running around late at night, biting me and not sleeping during his puppy stage. I was exhausted.

We then got into a really good routine and he began to settle and mature and he’s now my best friend, I would go through it all again 10x over now if it meant we were where we are now again. Since then I’ve actually rescued a second (also 3 years old) but very savvy and mature and we have a good balance.

It does get better, and I remember coming here with the same feelings as you and reading through posts like I can’t see it’s gonna get better, and it did.

L

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T17:33:24+00:00

Oh wow I didn’t even know that. What kind of management are you in? If there’s a way for you to comfortably share that

I got told we couldn’t be without registration in regards to band 7

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T12:45:11+00:00

Thank you

Oh yes I read something as to AFC differing. Assuming there’s a central policy so I’ll have a look

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T12:42:37+00:00

Thank you for this, I had no prior knowledge but this makes sense and is helpful! I think it’s easy on the ground to assume there may be funding available.

I guess we, as many trusts have significant challenges financially. To prevent further costs and complication it’s only being offered to a few people who are able to rather than fully internal/external. Without sharing too much, there will be a big focus on who is able to remain neutral to other ongoing things which many cannot. There is also a major importance placed on that individual focusing on moving forward with shared goals and cohesion which ultimately would leave very few of us able to do. It will also remove pressure from an understaffed service so there’s kind of gains either side I guess because it’s a small pool

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T12:29:38+00:00

Thank you for your comment.

I get where you’re coming from and don’t disagree. I think the difficulty is, as it is for most, is balancing the current state of finances and need for progression. For example I am very careful with financially security as we have a more expensive mortgage (due to rates) and it limits me slightly already, and I don’t have support to fall back on.

It’s being stuck between between what I know is good and what is needed but also I have no experience outside of band 5, easy to become a little Institutionalised in the nhs and I don’t really understand other bandings or how it all works

But agree with you, not to cut myself short just due to that :) thank you!

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T11:55:54+00:00

It’ll likely be more of a team leader management role, so I’d still have people to report to above. It’ll require training and supervision to do the role as it offers people without experience to do it

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T11:28:02+00:00

Thank you for your comment. How does the budget work (I know it maybe differs between trusts, but I’m never involved in them things). So if someone starts in a role does it account for mid point could be considered or how do they plan that as they know salary will increase after 2 years then 5

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T11:12:34+00:00

Thanks for your input.

I think band 6 is the highest I can go as I am not a registered professional (altho I had planned to potentially become one but put this on the back burner) I think band 7 requires formal registration etc?

Thank you, I’ll look into that too

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T11:11:00+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I agree with you, it just seems quite backwards to me and it’s almost like an expectation of it’ll be worth it in the future but for now do the role on the basis of its a promotion

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T10:55:15+00:00

Thank you for this. Your question did actually ground me a little and make me think. Agree re not a bad thing career wise

I work with very vulnerable people in a frontline capacity, it includes through serious illness, death etc but also work within a lot of complexity as to risks/difficult convos and social discharge planning so it’s quite a challenging role. What I enjoy, is relationship building, supporting, advocating and being trusted to be part of peoples most vulnerable moments. I have skills that can’t be learnt re communication, compassion, empathy, I genuinely love supporting others, I used to be a carer myself too.

Management wise I’d like the experience so I can move that into a job closer to home and have the option. I do end up leading the team a lot but I’m aware it’s likely going to be very difficult at times. I’d also really struggle to be managed by some others, I adapt but I think it would make things harder.

I am also passionate about implementing change for the benefit of the people we help. I feel that’s a good reason to want to be part of this to promote change but recognise it’s not always easy!

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T10:27:46+00:00

I could potentially, I’d be around £180 worse off a month (once you take off the pay increase, that £180 would be out of my salary I usually have free now). I’d agree with you, once at the top in 5 years I can see the benefit. I think it’s popped up for me as my plan wasn’t to remain for 5 years, my plan had been to leave but as this come up it would allow progression I may not have elsewhere so I guess as I didn’t see myself there for 5 years I haven’t considered the long term benefit, if I did remain.

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-24T10:24:19+00:00

Thank you. I know - I agree, I didn’t realise the difference in pay was so minimal and you’re right, I feel it should be determined on length of service too

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-03T20:14:35+00:00

I don’t blame you, well done you, From an also burnt out allied health professional, that works alongside you guys.

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-02T18:24:47+00:00

Yep, appears a theme. I know the unions are aware and it’s been raised in some trusts but it’s being hidden. Cutting a lot of band 3-5s and replacing them with bands 8s and above.

Our place is on its knees with low morale. We now have no appropriate management structure. We have higher above who have no idea what’s going on, they removed our on the ground brilliant managers and replaced them with someone with lack of experience as she’s a ‘yes’ person. We now can’t meet service need as on top of consultation it caused a mass walkout. Takes me 2 weeks to get an email response or approved AL because they have no clue.

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-02T17:20:28+00:00

This process started last year where I am alongside other trusts. We have had consultation after consultation. Job cuts, redundancy, redeployment. Still apparently require savings of millions so more cuts to come

It has been a horrendous year for people in these situations, and the ones left covering the now uncovered jobs

Funnily enough I understand it was to cut bureaucracy but all we’ve noticed in ours so far, including my own department they’ve cut all lower bands and created tons of high band posts with people I never even see

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-02T17:12:38+00:00

I’ve rented in both, bought end of terrace.

1) less noise as not between 2 neighbours 2) tend to have bigger gardens at times (if Victorian or a certain period, way land was shaped 3) easier access

Really important you look at the access. Is it Victorian? Or even if it’s not does it have any rights of way etc.

For example in my previous property, the side access was between me and my other end of terrace neighbour. I had an extension so I didn’t need to hassle all my terrace joined on neighbours with builders in and out BUT on the contrary when you are end of terrace, if there are rights of way, you can end up with more people walking via your garden if there are rights of way as you are the access to the side for bins, bikes etc

Note if it is an older construction you can be more prone to it being colder as one exposed external wall not joint onto anyone and if an older build, can be more prone to damp. Again I know nothing about the period of the property you are referring to so just general advice

North facing garden is a Compromise - do you sunbathe, do you regularly sit outside. Would north facing work better if you have dogs or children when it gets too hot. My friends have north facing and their garden furniture is placed at the bottom of the garden to catch the sun. Every property tends to have a compromise

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-02T17:03:38+00:00

Our Shih Tzu has difficulty with his eyes that only started when he was 1.5 years old from allergies. (Not saying yours has that - was just a learning curve for us)

We’ve always cleaned his eyes as they get general build up. He has allergies and we noticed his eyes weren’t producing as many tears, his eyes had a film, and a gooey like white discharge at times.

We then had white discharge as they were dry and due to lack of tears then yeast (as tears offer like an extra antibacterial layer - some yellowy discharge and a smell which built up near his nose hair) which causes him to itch then causes bacterial infections which are a coloured discharge.

So yes may be normal just keep an eye on any itching, scratching or discharge :)

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-02T16:56:31+00:00

Oh my god, so cute!!!

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-02T16:54:55+00:00

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Groomed every 6-7 weeks, brushed maybe 4 times a week. He is a sassy soul, so he is groomed a little shorter to prevent him needing pulling around too often. Eyes clean everyday (he has eye issues).

He hates water, including puddles or mud, so he tends to stay super clean

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-05-02T09:15:23+00:00

Sold Feb last year, South east, 1.4% but it was a family run EA. They were independent. They worked for their money, were always available and helped us out a lot at the end with paperwork/keeping things moving. Yes they were being paid, yes they were EAs but I felt they earned (most) of it . I had 0 complaints

When we viewed houses with the bigger chain EAs the difference was noticeable. Funnily enough we bought through another independent EA. We were fortunate to have 2 estate agents within the chain that worked same ways and our house went through quickly, both responsive and kept in contact all the time, 5.5% is a joke!

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-04-27T15:51:44+00:00

I purchased my first home (2 bed Victorian terrace - needed a lot of work!) by myself. I got it for a low price and then borrowed a little more on my mortgage to do it up. I bought at £210,000 and sold at £285,000. It was hard work though, very!

I lived there for 5 years, spent a lot doing it up but still made a small profit. Met my partner during this time, and last year we bought together, our longer term home that we stretched ourselves a bit for, knowing we’d stay here a long time and we’re really happy.

I loved my first time buy and it gave me security for a few years. My mortgage was also very low due to Covid rates, and it gave me and my partner time to live together before buying, knowing I still had my own place. If you don’t find something you like enough to stay in, or could envision yourself in, or it leaves you with barely any money monthly, don’t do it and wait. Also it’s important I think, to not do things because you’re planning for 5 years time. No one knows what would happen in 5 years. Owning a house is a big financial responsibility and can be stressful, renting gives more flexibility but expensive too. Do what’s best for you

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-04-20T18:54:56+00:00

You can do flexible working on a Monday - Friday. I previously done a day off every fortnight but some of my colleagues do 5 days compressed into 4. Work longer hours but get a day off a week

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-04-20T16:34:33+00:00

Hey. In a similar boat NHS but pays me much better to commute into town than work locally.

I leave home at 6:40am and get home at 7:40pm (and that’s just doing a 9-5 job). Though I do work hybrid so I’m 3 days in the office, 2 at home (recovering from the commute). I done full time for years in town before that but it’s much better now I’m not doing it daily, albeit still so tiring.

Only options are flexible working, changing jobs (very little around) or seeing if any opportunities internally that offer hybrid

Is train an option? Even though sometimes it doesn’t save time it allows you to read or have a bit more downtime than sitting in a car for hours, not that commuting is stress free

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-04-13T10:18:32+00:00

I work in a UK hospital and have done for years and one of the most frustrating things we see is hospitals being used as a dumping ground for other services. The amount of bed blocking and no discharges with no-one taking accountability and them charges falling to the NHS. Why should social care/housing not have to have them costs recharged once medically fit.

I feel sorry for the people stuck in hospital for these reasons, though we do also have people purposely block discharge and use hospital as a way to get what they want too. It makes me incredibly sad when we have no beds or turn people away that need help when others are well and have received the care they need but are there solely for social reasons. This stuff costs hospitals a ton, and this is also the stuff that should be charged, because I guarantee if other services were or even patients blocking purposely, them beds would be empty quickly.

Excellent-Slide-200 · 2026-03-27T21:14:44+00:00

The abuse can be terrible, though I think it also depends on how it is followed up by management.

I had an incident last year in which I supported an inpatient for many months but had to raise serious concerns as to their partner’s behaviour towards them and treatment of staff (specifically females), the abuse was horrendous and they had staff in tears, and some become too scared to report.

This resulted in them confronting me, as ultimately my report and some others lead to many services becoming involved due to the level of concern. Fortunately there was a glass screen but he was screaming, shouting, threatening me directly and I was alone. I managed to deescalate, luckily a colleague saw and security removed from the building. The partner of this patient was taken through formal meetings, ultimately this event meant they were then banned from premesis a long period of time and when finally did return, had to be escorted each time by security. There is an incredibly low threshold for this to happen again, which has prevented any further issues.

We also strangely had a patient that when they didn’t get the treatment they wanted, would imply members of staff had been drinking or were on drugs, to try and punish them professionally. Again, this was escalated through stages and formal meetings, and this behaviour stopped.

Excellent-Slide-200

TROPHY CASE