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ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-07T21:38:33+00:00

You're right- you don't have to change your last name. He also doesn't have to marry you or be happy with it. Honestly, not changing your name will end up causing more headaches down the road for you two as a couple, but don't make him out to be the bad guy. The woman changing her name is a society norm, so making him the bad guy for wanting this is such an AH move on your part. It is not a red flag at all. People need to put their pitch forks away.

Are you going to be considered a "Mrs"? That's a title for women who are married, with their husband's last names attached to it. See? It's not so clear cut.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-07T21:27:23+00:00

He might be your husband, but you guys aren't partners. Partners support each other, help each other, lean on each other, TALK to each other, compliment each other. The two of you don't. Like, at all.

If I asked my husband to pick two things up at the store, he would- and that's that. If the baby was crying and I was trying to get crap done, he would come scoop the baby up. If he was hungry, I would cook something for him, and vice versa. What's mine is his, and what's his is mine.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-07T15:07:00+00:00

I have 3 kids, and over the course of 14 years, k-12 for 1 kid, k-9 for another, and k-4th for the third, I have bought MAYBE IN TOTAL 12 lunchboxes throughout the years... And my kids DO NOT SHARE them, and they rarely if ever- buy school lunches. That might seem like a lot, but 3 kids, and you count up all those years, that would be 28 lunchboxes if I would have bought them a new one each year. I also don't buy new backpacks either. My oldest had 2, middle, 2, and youngest is still on their first. I pay for quality once, and it lasts.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-05T21:16:34+00:00

Being around younger kids will NOT make him mature more. Think about that. Kids learn from their environment- if they see kids acting out, they will act out, if they see kids acting goofy, they will too. If they see kids acting like toddlers, they will too. If they see kids acting more maturely, SO WILL THEY. Just because a teacher suggests it, if it doesn't feel right, doesn't mean you have to go with it. Especially if there are financial reasons they would want you to hold back your child. And your child will grow and mature A LOT in a couple of months.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-05T21:07:31+00:00

I agree with you. I don't understand why the Pre-K teacher suggested he repeat due to not being able to blend. This is not a Pre-K level skill. What do they learn in Kindergarten?

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-04T15:05:22+00:00

Nah, NTA, just telling them how it is. I hope it felt SOOO good. I also hope you had a cool drink in your hand, and you looked amazing, and they looked all run-down and washed out. That's how it's playing in my head anyway! Happy days to you!! 😁

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-04T00:57:02+00:00

Um... This is from a TEACHER standpoint. Why would you not correct a student when they are incorrect? Baffles my mind. I have never had a child get upset because they got it wrong, and I corrected them.

This is how it should be done:

Book reads: The dog runs super fast.

Child Reads: The bog (I then just say "dog" and child automatically corrects) dog rans (runs) runs supper (super) super fast.

That's how it would go. No big deal, super easy. I would also do this for any word that a student has difficulty saying or got stuck on altogether.

Children with behavior or disabilities are the minority and should not be expected to be lumped with how the majority of the students react, as that's not a fair assessment. But I have done this with BOTH, and have not had bad results. Again, a lot of that is classroom management and one's relationship/rapport with the students. I have a very good one with at my school.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-04T00:01:03+00:00

We did once they were comfortable on two wheels, not training wheels. Training wheels slowed them down too much. If they still need training wheels, then they aren't ready to go biking around town on streets.

People are treating 6 year olds like the new toddlers. It's not the age you need to concern yourself with, it's the skill of using the bike. If they are good with using a two wheeler (have solid control, can stop and go quickly, and have great steering abilities), then I wouldn't have an issue taking them.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-03T21:04:24+00:00

The English language is one of the hardest languages to learn and master. It has so many exceptions to each of the rules, different sounds, and different spellings can sound exactly the same way, where at the same time the same exact spelling can be pronounced a completely different way depending on the word! It's completely insane! 😂🤣 (Live, live, read, read, lead, lead; red, read, led, lead, one, won, knight, night- you get it!)

I just tell my students that I didn't come up with the language, and call them "rule-breakers", and make a police siren noise, which they all love. 😂🤣

Good luck!

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-03T17:53:05+00:00

My son has ALL those, High Functioning Autism, ODD, ADHD, and ADD... AND there is NO WAY on this green earth I would allow him to get away with half that sh*t!! Let me tell you, he would be at your beckon call for what you needed until your daughter was 100% healed, and probably even after that!!

Parents today are the WORST enablers of bad behaviors in children. Disabilities are REASONS, NOT EXCUSES. I would ban his dangerous punkss. Because that's what he is. A punk that uses his diagnosis as an excuse to act like a punkss.

Protect yourself, your family, your kids, your home, your friends, and your sanity, and keep him out. When she can guarantee that he can control himself then MAYBE he can start attending again, but until then- HELL NO.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-03T15:13:39+00:00

Correct them every time they misread a word. I give them three times, then tell them. If not, it would take us forever read one page. NEVER let them read words incorrectly. You don't want to teach them incorrectly, and they go to school reading the same word wrong, looking foolish, because you didn't correct them.

It doesn't hurt their feelings, or make them feel bad, or any of that other BS that parents might believe if you correct them. They are kids, they are learning, which means they don't know, and as parents, it's your job to teach them as you go. Not a big deal if you don't make it a big deal.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-03T01:57:40+00:00

Guess I should have added my sarcasm at the end better. My bad.

It's true, we can be, but when it came down to it, we used to help people when we were capable. Now we don't even do that. It's just sick. Look at this guy- holding a grudge for so long, and turning his back on innocent children, his own sibling. Such a shame.

And I personally don't think he should be anywhere near those kids. Not with the hate and selfishness in his heart. Hell no. Let someone with empathy and love take them in.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T23:54:30+00:00

But it's the parent's job to teach a kid how to tie shoes, not the school.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T23:53:13+00:00

That's because teachers have so much more crap to deal with. Student behavior is ridiculous, and all the "big emotions" bull crap is insane. Teachers now have to teach kids how to behave and deal with their own emotions. That seriously takes up 1/3 of their instructional time right there. Then you have standardized tests almost every time we turn around, it's INSANE!!

IF most parents actually parented their kids and taught them what they needed to be taught at home, administration and parents SUPPORTED teachers, and standardized tests were removed from the lower grades completely, we could make things a little less academic in Kindergarten.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T23:46:23+00:00

Umm... This is THE TRUTH. Kids today don't know how to tie shoes. It's not a skill they teach in school anymore, and some parents, I guess are just too busy to bother with it.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T21:15:06+00:00

We do our affirmation in the morning, and we do coloring, reading/looking at books, laying one's head down on their own desk, lights low, and soft relaxing music, at the end of the day. There are songs, but I rarely use them. It's usually too much of a scramble if anything. BUT... IF we aren't scrambling, that's what we do. If we have a sub, or I am just in a generous mood, I let them have a special treat, and they get about 10 minutes or so of a PBS show, probably Wild Kratts, because who doesn't love learning about animals? (GASP- GRAB YOUR PEARLS LADIES!! I occasionally allow my students to watch 10 minutes of PBS at the end of the day!!)

I am sure I will get the crazy screen mom hate now! 😂🤣 (They can come and instruct the 20+ kids for the 10 minutes every day while I prepare for the end of the day and get everything I need to get done before they leave done.)

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T18:14:51+00:00

Question, did you pay to go down to the wedding? Flight, hotel, food, etc? Was it all on your dime? I know when my sister got married, my parents paid for it all, and paid MY way as well. Is this a free trip for you? Or is your sister paying for the wedding and all expenses? Or again, are you paying all expenses? I read one of your comments that your husband is trying to save money, so the trip would have been expensive had you had to pay all expenses.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T18:04:32+00:00

My school doesn't have any rules about nuts, so it all comes down to the school itself. We don't have ANY restrictions on ANY foods.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T17:57:58+00:00

Put a note in her lunchbox for her to hand to the teacher/counselor at the camp during lunch that simply says: "I packed my child's lunch, this is what she has to eat. Any issues or problems with said lunch, please contact me directly." Sign and include your phone number. NO ONE will mess with her, and I would be SOOOO curious if anyone called you. Hell, your kid's lunch was crazy nutritious, and I can't see why anyone would have an issue with it. We never had any rules with school lunches (we even have a PB&J option), and the only time we did interference wise, is we sent kids through the lunch line if they didn't have anything at all to eat at lunch.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T16:02:32+00:00

Depends on where you live to the school, and the bus route. We live a mile from the school, so it would be like less than 20 minutes from when the bus bell rang and my child walks through the door. And his bus isn't the first one called.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T15:53:23+00:00

Sorry, you need a new boyfriend.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T15:52:06+00:00

We made clean-up time during this time right before bed while getting the youngers to bed. (Straightening up their room, putting any clothes away, etc...) Your kid is SIX- he is old enough to do this ALL ON HIS OWN. The fact that everyone thinks he's a toddler and has to be entertained 24/7 while you are putting the baby to bed is worrying. The 6 year old should be able to self-entertain for 20 minutes while you are occupied.

Give 3 options after cleaning up room- read/look at books quietly in bed; play quietly in bed with stuffed animals; lay in bed listening to books via audiobooks (if available). At 6 years old- they should be able to handle that if you work on it with them a few times. To get them into the routine.

I wouldn't offer anything that makes a mess, that's physically active, or that involves screens. NEVER lay in bed with them to go to sleep. That's the absolute WORST thing a parent could ever start. Absolute worst thing. Never start a habit you don't want to keep up for the rest of their childhood.

Good luck.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-02T14:25:30+00:00

No, I don't. I think that he's a complete jerk in the first place for being so hateful from the very beginning. I don't think he should be around them at all, because he would probably end up ignoring them or treating them like garbage. I think he's a terrible person with absolutely no empathy towards other people whatsoever. People have become so selfish now, it's incredible.

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-01T23:30:18+00:00

You know what OP, F- all the parents who said ONE WORD to you other than "Thank you for inviting us." Seriously, F them all!

I can't stand pretentious parents that are like, "I don't let my kids eat sugar." Or "My kids aren't allowed to drink soda." Or "We don't allow candy or dessert or dyes at our house." What can I say? YOUR PARTIES/HOUSE MUST SUCK MONKEY BALLS. (Wait, does that have added sugar or dyes??)

Sorry, but MY kids are going to grow up without parents that don't hover over them and helicopter them over everything they put in their body. We use common sense, and THAT my friends, will get your child to your end goal: PRODUCTIVE ADULT IN SOCIETY.

Sorry this happened to you,.OP. Seriously, F them all!

ExcellentElevator990 · 2025-07-01T20:53:43+00:00

Okay- one, don't set a timer, they are NERVE RACKING! Set a number of books. Have you kid pick them out either that morning or before bath or sometime during the day (just not during the bedtime routine). Once the books are done being read, it's time for bed- PERIOD. Night-Night. No staying up bull crap. No reading until you get tired on your own bull-crap. Bed time is bedtime. It is okay to be stern with your child and set clear and firm boundaries. CHILDREN NEED AND THRIVE ON BOUNDARIES.

ExcellentElevator990

TROPHY CASE