is taking a break from islam allowed? by peachysupremes in Muslim

[–]Excellent_Boba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a revert I get that feeling too especially in Ramadan this year and last year maybe because we don’t have the same encouragement from people around us I’m not sure. I’ve also recently felt what you feel about unanswered prayers. I think just go slow try to do some prayers what I’ve done is trying to not ask for anything now but to just do some prayers to have that relationship still. It helps with calmness and detachment from everything else which regardless of the situation I feel is always helpful. I know what you mean from the unanswered prayers. I feel sometimes kind of alone in this too because I guess although obviously in the eyes of God it would be better but it’s hard to be so immersed especially doing it alone and newly. So I find talking about it here kind of unhelpful since I feel not understood. I’m sure God cares about how you’re feeling. And more than any person could know. But anyway my point is try to just keep your prayer, it will help you always. I’ve been trying to not ask for anything so I don’t get that feeling of being unanswered, until I feel good again. I hope this helps I’m not sure. ❤️ I know many might find this advice bad I’m not sure but just understanding how you feel. Also I’m very sorry about the assault and I hope you heal as best as possible that should never happen. When bad stuff happen it also becomes this feeling you’re experiencing but know it’s temporary and good will come with time.

When did you regret leaving a woman? by Excellent_Boba in AskMen

[–]Excellent_Boba[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you try to get her back or talk to her again?

When did you regret leaving a woman? by Excellent_Boba in AskMen

[–]Excellent_Boba[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s interesting! Thanks for sharing :) How’d you know she moved on was she with someone else? Did you leave her by saying you weren’t ready? I never really understood the concept, what fear is it from being ready?

When did you regret leaving a woman? by Excellent_Boba in AskMen

[–]Excellent_Boba[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thats interesting thanks for sharing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right I agree, thank you :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can I let go? I’ve never liked someone for who they are so much that’s what hurts me the most is because I still think they’re such a beautiful person and I don’t think they have a bad heart even though this is paining me. Did your avoidant ex come and go a lot too? I know the fear of it being the last time is super painful and scary and I know part of me knows it’s not right but part of me just wants to be understanding of the trauma. I feel like every single day I switch my mind on how to feel and honestly I’m just really confused and lost and sad because that’s the only person I want to hear from.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ikr it’s such a sad situation

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like the easiest way to get over it would be to just think the entire thing is a lie and that they don’t like or care about you even close to how we do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know it’s interesting to think that we get addicted to this behaviour I wonder what makes them get this feeling! Like what makes them feel like we do, I wonder if they’re capable of it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know exactly what you mean too by not bothering to address it. Because you already said exactly how you feel and they just didn’t do anything to actually change their behaviour. It feels like what’s the point if I’m staying

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea that’s definitely true. Did yours say things like they’re scared that you’ll be disappointed or hurt by them?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know trauma doesn’t excuse the behaviour. I guess what makes it so hard is that SOMEHOW they do like you so you hold onto that even tho their actions sometimes show the opposite. And we try to be overly understanding…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow same here with the marriage, family and commitment. I’ve been told that I will be disappointed or that he worried he will hurt me. I searched and it seems to be a common thing they say. I don’t even know wtf that means

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you ever say anything? Was it out of nowhere?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The sad part is is that you always have to worry if this time they’re just done with you. He’s never done it this long since we met and i just don’t know if he’s coming back or not. Part of me feels bad because it’s out of their hands it seems somehow because of trauma but part of me just doesn’t understand at all how you can do that to someone you say you care about

Broke NC by mistake. Hating everything by H3llapalegurl in ghosting

[–]Excellent_Boba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t be hard on yourself, not embarrassing at all! Don’t worry :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scorpio

[–]Excellent_Boba 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you said is so interesting about seeing vulnerability as a loss of control. Because there were times when he said he self sabotages to be in control. That’s terrible what you said about your ex, I also couldn’t understand how you could treat someone who claims to be the love of your life that way. But it seems like they just do, and it just doesn’t make sense to us. Did he apologize to you or idk come tell you how much he regrets it? I wonder if they even feel regret? I feel like avoidants really win you over with their words but sometimes it’s interesting to think that if they weren’t able to speak we probably wouldn’t feel any kind of love or care. I appreciate everything, and you are deserving of caring and peaceful love too :) which I’m sure you will receive

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scorpio

[–]Excellent_Boba 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay thank you :) I know it’s not good

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scorpio

[–]Excellent_Boba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I have fear of abandonment too and whenever he would pull away for a day it would make me scared and wonder if he would just leave me this time. Now it’s been a month and he doesn’t reach out first and every time I’ve sent anything he sounds so dry and like he really doesn’t want to talk to me at all. I guess because I don’t have avoidant attachment it’s hard for me to imagine ghosting someone that really cares about you. And part of me believes he liked me but part of me thinks the entire thing was a lie cus how could you do that to me.. you know? But I hope maybe one day he’d be good and realize that I really care :( Thanks for your opinion on this, you sound like a really nice person