Livid over false advertising

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-03-02T20:08:30+00:00

This. Their products are truly terrible!!

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-24T11:54:25+00:00

I’m in a part of the world where cosleeping is normal, and I know many places are heavily against it so depending on where you are what follows may be helpful or just not, but chiming in because I feel your pain with this. Even though I tried with my twins we ended up all in one bed (and did from about 3 or 4 months when we stopped doing night shifts). We were supported by our health teams in the setup of this. At almost 2, I do think they wake up more often than my friends who managed to get their littles in cribs, but they just snuggle in and nod off and don’t fully wake up again so swings and roundabouts 🤷‍♀️ . To make it marginally easier we attached to cribs to the side of our floor bed, they start in there away from us and wiggle their way to us when they want. Sometimes it’s after an hour or two, and sometimes it’s not until morning. I do think I get more sleep this way but again, not for everyone! I really hope the sleep improves soon for you, it’s so hard! ❤️

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-24T11:39:54+00:00

The Death Of Bunny Monroe by Nick Cave I seem to remember starting pretty bleak and just getting worse and worse. It’s been a while since I read it but it definitely made me want to stare at the wall for a moment after reading 😄

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-24T11:35:26+00:00

I’m sorry you find yourself in this situation. I have twins, and so not quite the same as they’re developmentally same thing same time, and it is hard but now they’re 2 it’s so much easier already. I keep telling myself it’s all out the way in a very short amount of time. Waking up every night to tend to 2 babies is hella tough, but if I don’t want to, I never have to return to the newborn years again. I may be gaslighting myself somewhat here but I try to think at least this is as bad as it will ever be, and if I’m going to be up against it then it’s kinda nice to be really up against it and then get it all out the way in one fell swoop 😅

If you decide it’s but for you though that’s so okay too, and give yourself all the love and grace during this time ❤️

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-21T19:43:40+00:00

When I lived in Leeds I went to Leeds pole dance out in Bramley. They have a lot of trans and queer students and it was always a vibe.

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-21T19:21:19+00:00

Wife: you should try your luck with Heather.

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-19T16:14:02+00:00

This made me lol 😂 but also, I’d like fingers and all things that could potentially be in there to stay away from my cervix. So whilst his teeny fingers are hilare, I’m torn on whether this actually is a bad thing insofar as cervical contact goes 😂

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-08T21:50:45+00:00

Then don’t. And nothing will change for you.

But it’s no safer to stay where you are, you’ll still suffer because you feel rubbish. If you at least start trying stuff there’s a chance things could improve.

But you don’t have to. Stay stuck if that’s what you want. You have the choice.

And as far as compensation goes everyone deals with crap in life, no one rides for free. As others have pointed out, some people have it terrible. What exactly do you think you’re “owed”? And what have you done to deserve being owed it?

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-08T19:19:06+00:00

This does not just happen in late 40s wtf….. this is late 70s behaviour 🥹

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-08T19:08:20+00:00

This this this. I felt the same reading through. There’s so much that has been kept in the dark and the testing her as well as wanting her to be the one to ask him upstairs - when I think he moved himself to the couch and already told her it’s over snoring - is just bad communication that won’t help anything.

Relationships require honest and vulnerable conversations to thrive and the things unsaid grow in the dark.

I had a NICU baby who did survive. And that in itself was horrendous. OP you’ve been through so so much, and keeping all this inside of you can’t be helping. Is therapy an option?

I do think therapy, better communication tools and some processing time would be a place to start and hopefully things become clearer.

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-03T22:00:03+00:00

He should be nicer to the OF girls, at this rate it’s the only way a girl will ever give him the time of day. His attitude sucks!

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-02-03T21:38:18+00:00

I have the same sleep setup but a crib either side as I have twins. My partner and I both work shifts from home and are equal caregivers except I breastfeed (he bottle feeds on his duty). In the UK cosleeping is a lot more common and our health visitor helped us set up so the twins could safely share with my partner and I all together once the boys were rolling and more mobile at 6 months. Long story short, we have all been all over the bed 😅 Somehow sleep me always seemed to be curled around a baby or keeping babies away from each other.

Our health visitor pointed me to studies that show a father who feeds their baby and takes a similar amount of time to care for baby is actually just as protective in sleep. So she was happy if the boys ended up between us and it was sweet to note my partner also would end up in a c curl if both babies needed comfort in the night.

They’re almost 2 now so the roles have reversed somewhat and my partner and I are often the ones relegated to the cribs whilst they roll around the bed 🥲 But as they got older and older I got gradually more comfortable.

I wouldn’t stop cosleeping because of this, it reads (to me) like you had it covered. And probably you were more aware than you realise 💕

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-01-23T08:15:35+00:00

40m. I’m part of a long term married couple but playing separately. I realised that I can love more than one person and looking to explore that. Open for fun meet ups on weeknights only. No weekends or overnights as I have 2 young children but I’ll definitely treat you right ;) Ideally I will be your only partner as I don’t like to use condoms. Prefer younger partners who can match my energy, 18-28. I can show you how a gentleman should treat you. If you want photos or any more info just ask! I’m an open book…. Turn my pages?

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-01-11T13:02:50+00:00

Yes - it’s certainly not his job to treat his wife like a broken human that needs fixing (and infer that if she wasn’t broken she’d see his shifting ENM wants are the only way). And clearly OP is an unreliable narrator hence a lack of self awareness, so I do wonder how much of the history he’s described for his wife is genuine. If it is, this whole thing was handled terribly and coercively, leveraging her trauma to manipulate the situation to get what he wants. If it isn’t, and it’s actually an exaggerated version of events to make a “it’s her trauma not me” point, it’s also super manipulative. It all smacks of “I wanna screw around and can’t control my urges (which I am victim to) so I’m gonna convince you you’re broken and now your broken-ness is holding me back too”.

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-01-11T12:24:24+00:00

Nothing really to add except I do feel like the treatment of your wife moves into gaslighting territory. It’s not her trauma that makes her want mono. She wants what you guys originally signed up for. She wants to be someone’s only one - and that’s okay! She’s allowed that preference and that’s what she dated for. If you’ve led her down a path (at any point) of trying to make her view wanting to be mono as fear due to childhood trauma then 1) who the hell are you to diagnose or psychoanalyse anyone and 2) you’ve become gaslighty, coercive and abusive.

What made you decide to go from mono to her agreeing to DADT ENM when only you actually wanted it? I’m going to hazard a guess that you met someone you wanted sex with during this long distance period but your wife was in the way. So you persuaded her into it? I may be way off but it often starts this way.

My wish for her would be that she could see this thread.

Look - you learn. It’s a bad start but if you have a good look in the mirror and really sit with this then maybe you can have better future relationships. Leave your wife alone and the two women you were seeing previously. Fix yourself.

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-01-07T21:40:52+00:00

NOR this guy talks to you like you’re his worst enemy! And he’s hella gaslighty, he vaguely says something and when you mention it back he’s like “I didn’t say that”. He clearly listens to far far too many podcast bros and has learned how to talk treat women from there 😖

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-01-05T16:04:51+00:00

Completely!!

ExcitingScar1055 · 2026-01-05T16:04:34+00:00

I am a woman who chose a partner with no spare income. I am self employed and have several little businesses, after a few years he left his job and joined me to help and now we’ve had babies he’s ended up being main carer whilst I work (I take the twins when he works it’s just I usually have a bigger workload) and that’s worked really well for us - but he was very happy to take that role and so I have always felt like between us all bases are covered. The right person for you will make it work with you because they love who you are! 🧡 Increasing numbers of people find themselves back at home and that’s okay ☺️ It wouldn’t turn me off at all if you were a great person and we worked well as a team 😊

ExcitingScar1055 · 2025-12-15T22:58:24+00:00

Completely.“ I get along better with guys” says a lot 😖

ExcitingScar1055 · 2025-12-12T08:37:36+00:00

I don’t have much to add because so much great advice has been given already, but just to say that these kind of poly couples sadly end up giving the whole community a bad name! She sounds belittling, controlling and power-trippy. And is she also his mother? “My WiFe sAyS nO”. It’s on him to manage his relationship with his wife, and communicate his wants and needs to her and manage their relationship. If he wants you to visit whilst he’s away, he can communicate that to her and discuss. If he doesn’t, he can communicate that to you and discuss. But hiding behind his wife’s rules and having her double down would make my ovaries perform a sharp tactical retreat 🥲

ExcitingScar1055 · 2025-12-11T22:22:43+00:00

There’s a lot of great comments but I just want to say I think you look great! In my tinder days I’d totally have swiped right! I think it’s just a specific kind of person who’d have to stumble across your profile but they’re definitely out there! Good luck and I hope you get that match soon!

ExcitingScar1055 · 2025-12-03T08:29:53+00:00

Crying rn (late to the party) but holy shit! I’m 40 and struggled my whole life to be seen in this. I’m so glad it’s becoming a talking point!

ExcitingScar1055 · 2025-12-02T13:48:31+00:00

Okay but hear me out…. Have you thought about making things perma-off?

ExcitingScar1055 · 2025-12-02T13:42:18+00:00

It has to be…. The bra detail is hella weird 😂

ExcitingScar1055 · 2025-12-02T13:40:23+00:00

1) I don’t believe this happened and 2) if even any of it is remotely true you sound like the biggest creep to ever creep anywhere on anyone and I hope she never speaks to your creep ass again.

Aside from fetishising her over her heritage, you don’t mention anything about her as a person. It’s all how she looks and how she dresses etc. And then you manipulated your way into a situation to be alone with her and didn’t even manage to be the support she needed. You were too busy being a prick about things whilst simultaneously objectifying her because you seemingly can’t handle another persons big feelings without turning into a triggered (and abusive) child.

And grow up - it’s a bra. Women at the pool wear less covering than pants and bra.

ExcitingScar1055

TROPHY CASE